To find my report from breast clinic condescending?

[duletty]

I’m 44, had breastfeeding pain for a few months and then found a large lump on the underside of my arm near arm pit.
Gp arranged a quick appointment (was three weeks when usually a two week wait)....
Any way after mammogram and ultrasound they said it was cysts and calcification, so all good.
Got letter today outlining results and it said:
“Saw the this delightful lady in clinic today”......etc etc
I find this language unprofessional and it pissed me off that it was shitty code like a child’s school report.
I have to write reports for EHCPs and use appropriate professional language do it set me on edge.
Am I being precious?

Standard in clinic letters, especially from older consultants.

Delightful? Goodness me, how offensive. I would immediately report them.

Sounds like they should have put miserable bugger to me OP 🤨

A male family member received the same. After so many tests the consultant's letters, with a nod to the person - rather than the illness - was quite welcome.

@BarbaraofSeville they absolutely do start men’s letters in this way. Don’t pick a feminist fight where there isn’t one.

“I saw this pleasant/charming gentleman in clinic”...

You should be pleased that your result was good instead of moaning about this

So many people saying it’s code for “not a twat”, I’m intrigued... what’s code for “a twat”?

Definitely report them. Absolutely get an NHS "manager" to call them out on their outrageous behaviour. This will, without question, enhance their clinical practice and not make them want to retire early. You go OP. Woo.

That’s normal, all of my mums hospital letters/reports are like that.

This is completely usual. Check out these threads, there are many more!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1828888-to-try-to-decipher-the-coded-message-on-referrals
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2902353-This-very-pleasant-patient-etc
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3761135-Kindly-in-medical-notes

Our letter to GP from fertility consultant said “I met this pleasant couple” and the paediatric neurologist‘s letter to our GP said that it was lovely to meet our daughter.... I thought it was a small but effective way of giving a personal touch... now I am wondering what the code is ;)

I get "this delightful 50 year old GPS wife ....." and I know it's them warning that 1) I'm not delightful and 2) don't fuck up, this one has a doctor keeping an eye

I do try to be delightful but 8 years of a rare chronic illness means I'm really not, I'm grumpy, fussy and in pain. They do, really, do their best. And dh doesn't know much more than my neurologists.

Fair enough, but the personality and mannerisms of the patient has no bearing whatsoever on what treatment they need or deserve.

Would a consultant write 'I saw a total wanker of a man/bitch of a woman in clinic....

Of course they wouldn't. Yherefore, their diagnosis needs to be solely related to their condition, nothing more.

Yup men's letters start like this too. Long time ago delightful was code for this royal pain in the arse, but when we lost crown immunity and people could see their notes they started to use it as a standard phased, means nothing more than a standard introduction. I am a nurse and we would be dragged round the hospital and publicly flogged if we dare do this. Our reports have to be factually and too the point.

Errr what do you want them to write?

Focus on the positives. Your scan was ok.

MsJaneAusten this man or this woman.

There was a thread on this the other day. Someone was very pleased that they were referred to as “this well informed couple ” and someone else popped up to say that means “has been googling.”

It really isn't standard. I read many clinical letters and write them myself. I would never include a personal opinion of someone no matter how 'delightful' they were. It's just completely unnecessary.

I’ve had ‘charming’ and ‘delightful’

I thought it was quirky but it was also cheering to see something like that in a long screed of medical terminology. Let’s not flatten everything out to dull conformity.

Finding it condescending is absurd.

Seriously?! You got a amazing news after finding a lump in your breast and you’ve still found something to complain about. As someone who didn’t get such good news and ended up having a mastectomy, 9 months of Chemo and radiotherapy 3 weeks after giving birth to DS I would be counting my lucky stars if I were you. Get a grip - it could so easily have gone the other way.

It sounds odd to most of us but (based on my experience as a medical secretary), it's completely standard language used in consultants' letters, referring to both men and women, so not sexist. No hidden meaning!

It's not standard to write letters like that any more.

You aren't supposed to put in personal comments - even nice ones! but old habits die hard.

Most of the letters I see don't have them in and I don't put them in mine. If you know a patient well it may come across that you were pleased to catch up or that you like each other but saying pleasant, delightful etc is out as it implies those you don't write it about are vile. This may be true but it doesn't go down well in court.

Both DH and DS have had letters starting like that and I enjoyed reading them. To me it humanises the patient and it made me like our GP more (although I like him very much anyway). I can’t understand how this could be considered offensive.

Gp arranged a quick appointment (was three weeks when usually a two week wait)....

How is three weeks a quick appointment when is normally two week wait?

When I got the results of my breast biopsy, I didn't notice if the letter from the doctor called me delightful; I was mostly focused on the fact that it said I didn't have cancer.

I've been a nurse for 30 years. It's very old fashioned... and not at all appropriate. Glad you're OK though... focus on that. 💐