To find my report from breast clinic condescending?

[duletty]

I’m 44, had breastfeeding pain for a few months and then found a large lump on the underside of my arm near arm pit.
Gp arranged a quick appointment (was three weeks when usually a two week wait)....
Any way after mammogram and ultrasound they said it was cysts and calcification, so all good.
Got letter today outlining results and it said:
“Saw the this delightful lady in clinic today”......etc etc
I find this language unprofessional and it pissed me off that it was shitty code like a child’s school report.
I have to write reports for EHCPs and use appropriate professional language do it set me on edge.
Am I being precious?

I was described as "knowledgeable" my doctor said ahh im assuming you said "I know but" a lot then? And put me onto a different consultant the trouble is I'm used to dealing with a gp G=general which means they don't know a lot about my condition ive lived with it for over 20 years so I know a bit 🤷‍♀️ my gp is used to me rocking up at the surgery saying I need a blood test i feel im being over/under medicated most consultants are not (in my area) going to a consultant who wants to talk down to me about how I feel and perhaps instead of a blood test to check my levels I should try an antidepressant didnt go down too well (and my levels were off so I was irritable and right)

DH's letters about his arthritis appointments are always like this too - "saw this lovely gentleman" etc. My Mum's are too, actually, we used to laugh about how she was always described as a very pleasant lady. She is - but it just made us (her included) laugh at the wording of it!

For goodness sake - why on earth would that bother anyone?! I really don't understand some people . Why can't you just be happy that there is nothing seriously wrong with you?

How strange. Must be either code or just a verbal way of making you feel more than just a number or a set of medical issues to them. I don't think it requires complaining about although if they had written that they saw a right stroppy, fat person, you may have a case.

To the PP who said someone’s personality has no role in their health care I beg to differ. I have written on more than one occasion “thank you for referring this stoical woman/man” - it gives a heads up to the next doctor that this person is likely to downplay their symptoms. And yip I will comment if they are tearful or delighted with their outcome or have unreasonable expectations. I’ve even been known to copy in original surgeon if they’ve been particularly thrilled with their surgeon. If a patient is consistently referred to as lovely or whatever and suddenly is unhappy it’s one of three things: either something has changed which I need to know about, I’m pissing them off and need to figure out if that’s reasonable or not or they’re just having a shitty day (which is of course totally fine). I don’t especially care if you’re a grumpy arse so long as you’re consistently an arse

I am treating the whole patient not just their condition and personality has a great deal to do with it.

DH's dentist to dental surgeon described him as a 'very nice man' Which he is. It made me and DH smile when we sneaked a peak at his file when the consultant left the room.

I think this is not an unusual practice at all when referring a patient.

I'd be happy with 'delightful' - at least it didn't say miserable old bat.

Am I being precious?

Yes. You have cysts, not cancer.

I've had 'stoical', because essentially I didn't scream cry or fall off my seat.

Isn’t it just normal consultant-speak, like on GP’s notes TATT or NFN etc? It’s a kind of professional code or shorthand.

I've read several threads on here about this before.It's pretty standard and has been for a long time. My late DM had copies of similar letters sent to her, and that would have been getting on for 30 years ago now.

You’ve been given such good news about your worries and if I were you I would be so pleased and relieved & not give a second thought on how the letter was written.

I had exactly that in a referral letter the other day
I thought it was code for not being a twat or making it up!

I'm with you. It's not their job to say whether anyone is pleasant or not. I don't go back to my GP and say that the specialist was delightful, grumpy or irritating, I just report what they said.

It always takes me back to the 1900s., and I always wonder if they say the same about men too. Ican't see it somehow. Why not just 'I saw housemdwaswrong in my clinic this morning. She presented with...'.

It is standard, but that's not mutually exclusive from being patronising.

What about just writing "the patient"?

What is wrong with that.

I dislike this code language. If I present in front of a doctor, I am asking for help with a health issue. What I am categorically not asking them is to judge me on non medical related things like my fucking personality. How arrogant to think oneself so special that you are allowed to sit in judgement of those you imagine inferior because they have not attended medical school.

I don't go down the chipshop for a bag of chips and ask the owner if he thinks I am a miserable bastard or not before, during or after he has dealt with me so why do doctors feel entitled to deliver a critique.

Or are they, as I suspect, just warning other medical professionals to watch it because this one is clever enough to work out what's going on and will spot it if you fuck up so may be more likely to question or even sue.

They always use language like that. I'm "pleasant". I've read threads on here discussing what it means. I agree that it comes across as a little condescending. I wonder if it's a code for other healthcare professionals to indicate troublesome patients (those not labelled "delightful" or "pleasant").

A few links for you:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/general_health/2102837-this-pleasant-44-year-old
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1828888-to-try-to-decipher-the-coded-message-on-referrals
www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/feb/04/consultants-code-gps

I'm glad your results were clear

Yep. Standard stuff. Both I and my late husband had medical reports starting that way. What's not to like?

It's standard. Not worth getting upset about.

Seriously? You have got the all clear for breast cancer and the term of delightful has has pissed you off? I would not have cared of the consultant had called me the bitch from hell, I would just be grateful I wasn’t facing a mastectomy, chemo and possibly a terminal diagnosis so in answer to your question yes you are being precious, very.

I used to have a clinic attended semi-regularly by a very delightful gentleman. He always mentioned whatever adjective I'd used to describe him, and it became a bit of a game. Sadly his son read through his correspondence and complained that I was patronising him. The time after that, he came in all worried that he'd annoyed me as he'd been demoted to 'this gentleman'.

A friend of mine was called 'a polite middle-aged gentleman'.

Condescending but could have been worse if they'd ever heard him in his cups.

What’s wrong? Do you not identify as a lady?

My mum gets similar from her different consultants she sees at the hospital. She gets ‘lovely’ as well as ‘pleasant’. It’s just how ‘the patient’ is referred to surely?

I think it’s ridiculous. It’s a professional letter so should only have professional comments, how they feel towards you is irrelevant it should just be focused on your medical needs.

I agree from experience that it's standard for both men and women, but I do find it odd.

What is the code for a 'difficult' patient?