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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To find my report from breast clinic condescending?

477 replies

duletty · 25/07/2020 22:37

I’m 44, had breastfeeding pain for a few months and then found a large lump on the underside of my arm near arm pit.
Gp arranged a quick appointment (was three weeks when usually a two week wait)....
Any way after mammogram and ultrasound they said it was cysts and calcification, so all good.
Got letter today outlining results and it said:
“Saw the this delightful lady in clinic today”......etc etc
I find this language unprofessional and it pissed me off that it was shitty code like a child’s school report.
I have to write reports for EHCPs and use appropriate professional language do it set me on edge.
Am I being precious?

OP posts:
TigerDroveAgain · 25/07/2020 23:12

My funniest moment was “what sort of law do you do” before even a hello from a consultant - I was Completely fine but a bit old for a first pregnancy and had had ovarian cancer.

His face when I said “clinical negligence “ was a picture. I soon corrected it to something much more boring!

CatteStreet · 25/07/2020 23:12

It's unnecessary, and condescending. The consultant's opinion on my personal qualities is of no relevance. In the country I live in, these letters refer to 'your patient', no additional judgements. It's not hard.

RAOK · 25/07/2020 23:13

They start their letters with that so often.

Jux · 25/07/2020 23:13

I've had a few of those, and though I don't take them literally it gives a tiny shoot of pleasure/relief to know that I didn't piss the consultant off or make too much of an idiot of myself.

I've had a few 'intelligent lady' as well, and can't quite work out what that means, though.

PeigiSu · 25/07/2020 23:13

I graduated 8 years ago and we were encouraged not to do this any more at my university but many of my peers do! I do feel like I’m being a bit harsh when I see my letters next to someone else’s and I haven’t commented!

duletty · 25/07/2020 23:15

Thanks for everyone’s replies, a few were spicy but fair enough I did ask.

I just thought as it was a more serious subject matter letter as a contrast to my dermatology letter about my allergy testing that the delightful was a bit eh?
I wasn’t bouncing off the walls grinding an axe or looking to be outraged

Wonder if the letter from husbands prostate exam would describe him as delightful 😳

OP posts:
Haretodaygonetomorrow · 25/07/2020 23:15

I’ve had letters like this. It’s not really professional, is it?

thefruityelf · 25/07/2020 23:18

I work in healthcare. It's a very very common way of starting reports and letters (by doctors). Regarding make and female differences, my DH has several letters written about him by doctors both NHS and private rage start in exactly the same way. Makes me giggle as he's a grumpy arse Grin

RonnieBob · 25/07/2020 23:20

I feel so very sad about this world, if at time of worry and stress, that the person looking out for your health can’t use nice complimentary language without us feeling offended. That blunt professionalism would be preferred over warmth and kindness. Let the world be a nice place where it can.

duletty · 25/07/2020 23:20

@steff13

Gp arranged a quick appointment (was three weeks when usually a two week wait)....

How is three weeks a quick appointment when is normally two week wait?

When I got the results of my breast biopsy, I didn't notice if the letter from the doctor called me delightful; I was mostly focused on the fact that it said I didn't have cancer.

When I tried to book my appointment online there was only one hospital available and no appointments, I had to refer back to my gp surgery and was triaged based on symptoms, so the standard two week wait for an urgent referral was actually three weeks
OP posts:
TooFrickinHot · 25/07/2020 23:22

Yeah, I think it's standard. DP (male) is always described as a "pleasant man", so I don't think it's sexist or anything. It is weird though IMO.

Snowman123 · 25/07/2020 23:22

It's irrelevant and unprofessional.

Why would they write to you as the 3rd person? Do they just send you copies of their notes?

gonerogue · 25/07/2020 23:24

I've not had this in a letter, but having lumpy boobs my doctor will refer me if I find anything new. I've had the consultants say "Nothing wrong with that, you know you have lumpy boobs from your history" and "Ah yes, You've been referred from your GP - she likes to keep us busy"

Considering I am in Ireland and have to pay €450* for an appointment to see him I thought that was quite condescending and inappropriate. I will ask to be referred to someone who doesn't make me feel like I am wasting his time the next time.

*€450 for a private appointment because the public appointment I was offered was 4 months in the future. Insurance covered about €200 of it.

TheFormidableMrsC · 25/07/2020 23:24

For fucks sake OP, is this really all you have to complain about? Really? I was described as a "lovely lady" by a female registrar in a letter when I was diagnosed with an invasive, aggressive breast cancer in March. What on EARTH have I got to complain about? I was operated on in 3 days, I started active treatment exactly six weeks after surgery, I am being given life saving treatment. Would you really be complaining about this if all you had to worry about was cysts? I find it utterly astonishing that anybody would make a fuss about that. Ridiculous. For the record, I'm 50, with a small primary age child, single mum. I can find a million things to be offended about but it wouldn't be this.

SallyWD · 25/07/2020 23:25

My dad's received 2 letters from the hospital recently where he was described as delightful and lovely. It seems to be standard practice. I think it really pleased him!

welliesarefuntowear · 25/07/2020 23:27

I had interesting lady. This was from an ENT consultant who was so bloody great I am forever in his debt. My Dad has had delightful to. As I isad in a previous post it's my job to read, file and act on all letters from hospitals in the surgery where I work. It's extremely common for delightful to be used.

DancingInDespair · 25/07/2020 23:28

It's standard to write "pleasant/delightful lady/gentleman" though.
It's shit, but can't get worked up about it.

Rollmopsrule · 25/07/2020 23:29

RonnieBob The problem with these lovely kind words filled with warmth is that they don't extend to everyone. Facts and professionalism are all that are required in a clinical letter.

1Morewineplease · 25/07/2020 23:29

A bit bonkers but pretty standard .
My husband’s letter from his consultant said ‘amiable.’

welliesarefuntowear · 25/07/2020 23:30

It's irrelevant and unprofessional.

Why would they write to you as the 3rd person? Do they just send you copies of their notes?
^^

Mostly letters are addressed to the GP with the patient copied in.

DustyD2 · 25/07/2020 23:31

I totally understand what you are saying. However it's a complement. They are saying in a clinic of patients they actually enjoyed the clinical encounter with you, it means you are "normal". I suppose only those who work in a clinical setting will understand! I would never write this myself by the way, as it's very it is pretty old school doctor speak.

Alloverthegrapevine · 25/07/2020 23:33

Even if it is complimentary, why does the doctor need to know OP is delightful? What difference would it make if actually, she was having a bad day and worry about her health had made her a grumpy cow on the day?

BigChocFrenzy · 25/07/2020 23:33

I had "delightful lady" in a report a few years ago from my eye consultant in London

First time any bugger has called me that !
but I thought it was respectful enough and he was an excellent doctor

HateIsNotGood · 25/07/2020 23:33

Yep - both me and ds are "delightful" - not a prob tbh. It was really nice considering a few localized 'educationalists' were describing us as anything but at the time.

Those were the days...

2155User · 25/07/2020 23:36

I would’ve just smiled and thought ‘ooohh that’s nice of them’