To not give DFriends a lift

[cautiouscovidity]

I'm meeting friends tomorrow for the first time since lockdown. There are 3 of us that live close together in town A, and two that live in town B.
The three of us from town A take it in turns to lift share when one of the friends from town B is hosting. Technically it's my turn to drive as we're meeting in town B.
Due to current COVID guidelines in England (to avoid sharing a car with people outside your household if possible), I've said that I won't be offering a lift for tomorrow's (outdoor picnic) gathering as I'd assumed we'd travel separately under the circumstances. Friends think I'm being unreasonable and it will be fine if we all wear masks, have the windows down etc. but as I have to drive on the motorway I'm not keen to have the windows open.
One friend doesn't drive (but has a husband who could drop her off) and the other has said it would be difficult for her to drive there because she's parked her car in their garage and her DH and 2x teens' cars are parked in front of it, so a big hassle to shift the cars around just to get hers out (she's working from home so hasn't used the car in ages).
Both have said that they can't come if I can't offer a lift and all friends (including those in town B) think I'm being ridiculous and spoiling the get-together.
So ... lovely people in my phone... AIBU?

YANBU. The rules are in place for a reason

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable- I think you just need to politely stick to your guns and say that if they’re not willing to sort their own travel, perhaps the get-together should happen in Town A this time and the Town B people come to you?

No one should be forcing you to do something you’re uncomfortable with.

Yadnbu. Your friends should respect your concerns even if they don't share them.

We've been really careful here.

But honestly, with masks on and all the windows down even just 10-15 cm keeping the air moving through, I think you'd be fine for 20 minutes.

If they are comfortable sharing a car then couldn’t the friend with the husband who drives take them both?

I refused a lift home from a friend’s garden meet last night. Some people are more relaxed about rule breaking than others. I won’t be sharing a car with anyone but my family for a while.

Your assumption has caused this
You need to speak to them

YANBU. Your friends are perfectly capable of getting there and back by themselves, they just don't want to.

It's your car and your decision entirely. If you don't feel comfortable don't do it and your friends should respect your feelings.

Technically it's my turn to drive as we're meeting in town B

In that case, that's what you've got to do, unless you want to look as if you are being as unreasonable as you are.

What's wrong with having the windows open on the motorway, anyway? I have a convertible, and will have the roof off unless it's pouring tomorrow, when I drive my friends to Bristol.

And if it is pouring, I'll be driving them anyway, and none of us will be wearing masks, because they are filthy items.

Of course you are not being unreasonable, there are rules in place to minimise risk, you have an elderly relative, but even if you didn’t it is still not sensible for you all to be together in one small car.
Unless most people stick to the rules this Winter will be horrendous.

@BluebellForest836

Yabu.

It’s your turn... wear a mask and live a little

Yep, LIVING is why she doesn't want to take the risk!

It's hardly 'living it up' chauffeuring people around.

The one not wanting to get her car out is being absolutely ridiculous. Isn't she insured onnthe other cars anyway?

Stick to what YOU feel happy doing!

I have to collect my (adult) niece, her dog & all her belongings (flat share amount of stuff) later this week. I'm her only family in the U.K. & I'm not too happy about her being in the car with me, but I didn't want her on the train either (if I just collected her stuff) and she's going to stay with friends when normally she'd stay here. I'm looking after her dog. It was the best allround compromise we could come up with.

Drive people for a picnic, no chance.

YANBU but if they're grumpy and it's only twenty minutes, you could just suck it up and drive, but have the windows fully open come rain or shine. It will be worse for whoever is in the back!

ProfessorFrockdown

You must realise not everyone is as laid back about this as you clearly are and I wouldn't want to drive on the motorway with Windows down or roof down either

OP also there is talk of masks but you don't know they they would even bring masks do you?!

YADNBU the rules are there for a reason. Picnic is low risk, car sharing isn’t. If they feel otherwise they are welcome to got together. Frankly cars being blocked in is a crap excuse! If she hasn’t driven it in months she needs to get it going, 20minutes each way would be ideal.

I would be happy to share lifts but we do all have to do what we feel comfortable with and not bully other people into doing what fits with our own comfort level.

You should have told them you weren't giving them lifts a bit sooner than the day before. The person who can't get her car out is beyond unreasonable. Just give it a miss. Sounds like a lot of hassle.

You do what you are comfortable with. Don't be harangued into doing something if you aren't happy with it.
I've fallen out with so many people over the last few weeks because I won't do play dates, go to the pub, let their child lick mine etc. I don't care, it's your safety at the end of the day and you do what you feel happy with either way!

I think yanbu. In my group of friends we are working on the basis that some of feel more comfortable than others and that we won't push anyone to do anything they don't want to do.

YANBU - nothing wrong with following the guidelines

If one of you contracted covid in the near future, you'd all be asked to isolate for 14 days as a precaution if you'd shared a car together like this.

If you had only picnicked outside at a distance of 2m, you wouldn't be required to isolate.

That might put the perceived risks in perspective for those of you saying it will be fine.

YANBU and you are not being ridiculous. Car sharing and sitting outside having a picnic are 2 completely different things, masks or no masks.

Could they get a taxi if it isn’t far?

I think you're being ridiculous as you're going to be seeing them anyway - and it is your turn. Although friend who won't get her car out of the garage is ridiculous, too.

YANBU