Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not let dd go to a sleepover

86 replies

jackstini · 25/07/2020 18:30

DD is 14 and in a close group of 6 friends
One of them is having a sleepover for her birthday tomorrow and all 6 girls are invited

Family is lovely but DH & I have both said no - it's just not allowed
The other girls are all going
DD is gutted and grumpy (although I know she understands why)

AIBU?

OP posts:
coffeewithmilk · 25/07/2020 18:33

No, YANBU.
I would be the same. I'm surprised the other family have allowed that.
Your DD will get over it, don't worry

Original poster
jackstini · 25/07/2020 19:04

I'm surprised too!

OP posts:
piscean10 · 25/07/2020 19:06

Yanbu. I'm surprised the other parents are all ok with it.

NeutralJanet · 25/07/2020 19:06

I'm on the fence. I get why it's not allowed, no way they will be socially distancing properly, but I do feel for your daughter. Being left out of something your whole friend group is doing is the end of the world at that age, especially these days with Snapchat etc so she can see live updates of what she's missing.

barryfromclareisfit · 25/07/2020 19:08

Don't cave, safe is better than sorry.
But give her a big treat. She's missing out on being with her friends and deserves a reward for being a good girl.

Spied · 25/07/2020 19:08

It'd be a 'No' from me.
I've only just allowedy DC to go to their grandparents house for a morning.
I've said no to them sleeping there though.

nettytree · 25/07/2020 19:10

I've allowed my daughter to have a sleepover with a friend. She's 10 and found the lock down isolation hard.

SunbathingDragon · 25/07/2020 19:12

YANBU but if all of them are in the same class at school, I’d agree since they will effectively be a bubble from September.

Skysblue · 25/07/2020 19:14

My neighbour’s teenage son caught covid at a sleepover...

InFiveMins · 25/07/2020 19:19

YABVU! Let her go and have some fun. She will miss out massively. Chances of her catching covid are slim.

PotteringAlong · 25/07/2020 19:22

Are they in the same class at school? Have they been back at school?

My DS had a sleepover at his friends - they had been back at school together for 5 weeks so seemed like they had already mixed enough.

duckme · 25/07/2020 19:26

I understand your decision but I think I'd let my kids go, especially if they're in the same year at school. They'll be mixing when they're back anyway.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 25/07/2020 19:30

Have they mixed already, eg schools/ days out?

strawberrypip · 25/07/2020 19:33

yabu - shes 14 years old and the chances of her catching COVID is very slim.

wishfultinkerer · 25/07/2020 19:35

YANBU. Our dd is begging for a sleepover and we’ve said no. I feel for your daughter l, but I think other parents ABU.

Itsjustabitofbanter · 25/07/2020 19:36

I think YABU. It’s a sleepover with 6 friends. She’s been on lockdown for months now. The chances of her catching it are tiny, even if she does she’ll likely be fine. You can’t spend your lives living in fear. The bubbles are pretty much nonsense nowadays. The countries getting back to normal now.

Mummyoflittledragon · 25/07/2020 19:42

Most teens don’t seem to be social distancing so I’d think about what you’re achieving by refusing. If she doesn’t mix with these children much, you could be potentially avoiding something but if they’re regularly hanging around together, they’re already mixing and refusal doesn’t achieve much more than obeying the rules.

This is really crap of the parents tbh. My dd was told point blank no group sleepover, just a small party in the garden. She’s a couple of years younger but still....

Lipz · 25/07/2020 19:42

I'd be thinking no too. Not enough is known yet with kids, there's been a good few cases here in Ireland with kids so I'm a bit more reluctant to bend the rules.

Tbh I think governments world wide are hoping parents allow their kids to bend the rules, that way they get to see just how children handle the virus. Only one way of finding out.

downwardspiral1 · 25/07/2020 19:48

I have just said no to my daughter going on a camping trio with 7 other children - she is gutted, didn’t talk to me for two days, and is now at her Dad’s partly to get away from me I think.

Probably the parents doing the inviting have no idea what turmoil they have caused. Not sure why they couldn’t just have organised a picnic in the park.

So I think YANBU - if we all ignore guidelines now, we are more likely to have more spikes in the autumn.

downwardspiral1 · 25/07/2020 19:54

trip

roarfeckingroar · 25/07/2020 19:57

YABU. She's been going to school?

Happymum12345 · 25/07/2020 20:00

I’ve been allowing my 15 year old ds to go on camping sleepovers in their own tents, but their obviously outside which makes me feel slightly better.

Original poster
jackstini · 25/07/2020 20:02

None of them have been at school since March and they are in 4 different bubbles when they go back in year 10

They have met occasionally on a field and go running in 2 separate groups of 3 to keep in touch

Have been considering more about the girls' families interaction too for risk factor so been asking dd for more info on parents etc. So far 1 taxi driver, 1 been working in a school, 1 nurse on a COVID ward...

OP posts:
molifly14 · 25/07/2020 20:04

I think you're being unreasonable, I'd let her go. The last few months have been shit for everyone so I'd rather not make it worse.

Edel2019 · 25/07/2020 20:10

YABU OP. Sorry 😐

I just feel so sorry for your daughter. As has been mentioned, the chances of your daughter getting it are extremely unlikely.

She is the only one not being allowed go. That's really, really tough on her and I don't think it's justified.

You have to weigh in on the chance of her getting Covid vs her mental health.