To not let dd go to a sleepover

[jackstini]

DD is 14 and in a close group of 6 friends
One of them is having a sleepover for her birthday tomorrow and all 6 girls are invited

Family is lovely but DH & I have both said no - it's just not allowed
The other girls are all going
DD is gutted and grumpy (although I know she understands why)

AIBU?

Teenagers’ priorities are outside the family home - they are preparing to be independent. Friends and peers are paramount. Perfectly normal and right for them to prioritise that. I’m guessing op’s daughter hasn’t said ‘that’s cool mum, daily contact with granny’s more important’.

Sleepovers are allowed aren’t they? Is it the amount of girls?

If they are from a max of 2 households and the households remain socially distanced inside and out then they are allowed.

I wouldn't imagine that this sleepover meets those criteria.

@PablosHoney - it's 6 girls from
6 households so definitely against guidelines

@Goingprivate2020 we can not see my mum for a week, no issue, she has a partner

My aunt lives alone though and I am doing her hospital and docs appointments for cardiac, diabetes, asthma etc.

If I did get catch it and couldn't work, that would be a huge financial issue for our family

My son will be having two defends for a sleepover but they will be socially distancing. Any more than that would be difficult to do so though!

OP, people are suggesting you don't visit vulnerable relatives for 1 week, but 2 weeks would make more sense. That's how long someone needs to isolate if they're worried about having been exposed, as symptoms can take that long to show up. Also, as we know, some people can be asymptomatic, so if your DD did develop it after 2 weeks incubation, you wouldn't necessarily know about it. Therefore avoiding relatives for 2 weeks still doesn't rule out the risk of your DD passing it on.

I feel hopeless reading people's comments about "they'll all be in school together in Sept so why bother sticking to the guidelines now?" If this is how people make decisions, I don't really think there's much hope for things staying under control much longer.

"If I did get catch it and couldn't work, that would be a huge financial issue for our family"

It's not only an issue if personally you catch it; if your DD catches it then you all need to isolate for 2 weeks as a precaution.

Then definitely don’t allow, sometimes we have to be the bad guy.

Another ‘no’ here. The other parent should have asked what everyone was comfortable with before inviting them.

I’d be surprised is all the other parents are 100% comfortable, but may have said yes because the others have. DD turned 13 recently, I floated the idea of a SO and it was a resounding ‘not yet’ from all 5 other parents. We had 6 in the garden, and one sleeping over.

Update - she has gone to take presents and spend a few hours in the garden and I'm picking her up later - compromise and dd is happier

I just would not feel at all comfortable with the 'inside, all in 1 room overnight' thing

Thank you for confirmation I'm not a complete monster!!

Your child, your decision in my opinion. Don’t be swayed by other people’s opinions as you are within your rights to make your own decisions based on how you feel. Other parents may be dithering too but don’t want to be the one to say no.