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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Why does MN hate smokers so much?

698 replies

PalmTreesPurple · 25/07/2020 16:07

Not all of MN of course but I’ve seen a lot of negativity about it. I understand not liking smoking yourself because of the health issues, I’m a smoker after giving up for nearly a year and I was stupid to start again but it’s a nasty addiction to kick. I only smoke outside, in designated smoking areas, and never around people who are eating/close to other people. I also don’t smoke in places like parks or walking through town. It is either in my garden or in a designated spot. Would a smoker like that bother you, or is it people who don’t have any courtesy, or do you just not like smokers in general?

Not being aggressive at all, just very interested.

Would also like to know if anyone on here smokes themselves?

OP posts:
OverTheRainbow88 · 25/07/2020 18:13

This is the thing. Smokers pump far more money into the treasury than most things. People pay for their NHS treatment.

I disagree most people I know who smoke buys a crazy amount abroad, and don’t declare them thus not contributing to the tax and then expect the NHS to ‘save’ them

TimeWastingButFun · 25/07/2020 18:14

It's really nice of you to ask your neighbours, I'm sure they appreciate that. Not many smokers are as thoughtful.

Notredamn · 25/07/2020 18:14

Mother at the risk of sounding like that annoying advert, smokers are 'nose blind'!
They think they don't smell yet it's enough to make my eyes water, trigger a migraine and rub off on to me. That's the worst thing- I don't want to smell like a smoker. I don't smoke!

DolphinandDuck · 25/07/2020 18:15

"Oh and the conversations that used to take place standing outside in the cold all puffing away. Ah, those were the days."

Ah yes, the days when half the office went outside in groups several times a day and stand gossiping. Then returning giggling and snuggling so you could tell they'd been bitching about everyone, when they were the ones coming back stinking to high heaven.

Mammyloveswine · 25/07/2020 18:15

Because it stinks and kills.. it's really anti social! I'm so pleased that I literally know no smokers at all anymore!

Mywifeandkids1 · 25/07/2020 18:17

@Igotthemheavyboobs just as much as all smokers stink as per most comments on this thread yes. Obviously this is sarcasm and not everyone who is fat, smokes, drinks, stinks!

LangClegsInSpace · 25/07/2020 18:18

Because public health has worked so very hard over the years to associate smoking with disgust in the minds of the public and to use shame as a tool to encourage people to quit.

It's been fairly successful - it has stopped a lot of young people from taking up smoking and it has encouraged those smokers who can be motivated by shame to at least attempt to quit.

The downside is that most of the remaining smokers, who usually have a long history of unsuccessful quit attempts behind them, come to view themselves as disgusting and shameful. This level of low self esteem really is not conducive to successfully quitting such a tough addiction. Or they develop a 'don't give a shit, fuck you' response, which is probably at least better for their mental health, if not their heart and lungs.

The other downside, which I think is what this thread is about, is that other people end up not only thinking smoking is disgusting (fair enough) but that smokers are too, and you can see in a lot of the comments here how that spins off into ideas of smokers being stupid, selfish, wasteful, filthy, of weak character, vile, 'infected' (even after quitting!), a waste of organs ... just a bit sub-human really.

Most long term smokers started as children and it doesn't take very long at all to get very heavily addicted. There is a HUGE correlation with both low income and with having a diagnosed mental health condition. It's the biggest cause of health inequalities in this country.

A lot of posters here don't care about any of that, or what would actually help smokers to quit. They're just stuck at 'disgust'. You can tell this when they start banging on about vaping as well. Never mind that it's made far bigger inroads into smoking prevalence than all the shame tactics in recent years, it looks a bit like smoking so it triggers the same disgust response.

To those posters: This is for you -

www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/health/put-cancer-in-e-cigarettes-say-non-smokers-2014021983765

Another very good example is the thread I started in Site Stuff asking if we could get someone on to a do a webchat about quitting smoking in pregnancy. I thought it was a reasonable request, given that at least 10% of pregnant women are still smokers at the time of delivery and that pregnant women are a huge core audience for this website.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/site_stuff/2984138-Please-can-we-have-someone-really-sensible-on-to-do-a-webchat-about-smoking-in-pregnancy

Three YEARS since I started that thread, there still has not been a webchat. MNHQ made a few encouraging, non-committal noises every so often but it's clearly just a bit too icky and 'not nice' for them to want to engage with. I gave up asking in January of this year. Smoking prevalence in pregnant women has remained about the same over all that time. In fact I seem to remember it went up slightly.

And there were posters on that thread who were OUTRAGED at the very idea that women should be helped to quit smoking during pregnancy. They apparently preferred that pregnant women continue to harm their health and the health of their babies than be offered the help they need to quit. If they couldn't just quit 'for the sake of their babies' then there was no hope for them (or presumably for their babies) anyway.

The same type of arseholes turn up on every thread started by a pregnant woman who is looking for support to quit.

These attitudes are not unique to MN but it is particularly bad here and MNHQ share the blame for that.

StarTrekRedShirt · 25/07/2020 18:20

It’s a waste of money. It’s bad for your health. It stinks. It’s anti social. It’s outdated. We know better nowadays. It ages your skin. It’s stains your fingers. It makes every item of clothing you own stink. When I smoked I had numerous items of clothing ruined by a stray ember.

There are NO good parts.

Ultimately it’s your choice, but don’t fool yourself that it’s ok or harmless. Smoking is a killer.

I quit 3 years ago.

MarshaBradyo · 25/07/2020 18:21

It stinks and impact on NHS main things.

Saw a box thrown on ground today had a chat about change of packaging with ds from designs that made you want them more to blank with huge image of, in this case, throat cancer.

PablosHoney · 25/07/2020 18:24

Great post @LangClegsInSpace

1990shopefulftm · 25/07/2020 18:26

I think for me because smoking contributed to my dad's death in his 30s (rare genetic condition and he put some of the signs of it down to being a heavy smoker like the occasional chest pain and bad gums so it was too late to help him). I have a bad psychological association of being near anyone that does as the smell just reminds me of difficult times in my life.

gamerchick · 25/07/2020 18:28

disagree most people I know who smoke buys a crazy amount abroad, and don’t declare them thus not contributing to the tax and then expect the NHS to ‘save’ them

Really? You think that's relevent considering how much is actually paid in? Hmm

Well I don't know anyone who does that so maybe we've balanced that argument out.

Mywifeandkids1 · 25/07/2020 18:30

@LangClegsInSpace some sense 👏🏻 People don’t like anything that doesn’t fit into their box of societal norms! Without even considering how/why/when someone came to be that way.

orangejuicer · 25/07/2020 18:30

Because it's disgusting.

SinkGirl · 25/07/2020 18:32

So much hypocrisy.

Just out of interest, have you seen the costs of alcohol to the NHS and to society in general?

Most recent proper study was 13 years ago - estimated cost to society of over £55bn annually.

About £3.5bn cost to the NHS, around the same as the estimated costs to the NHS as smoking.

People bang on about the cost of cleaning up cigarette butts. With alcohol you have billions in costs to employers, social care, police time, criminal justice, damage to property, etc etc.

And yet, MN is bizarrely defensive about alcohol. Can’t think why.

I really dislike heavy drinking - aside from the fact that the smell of alcohol on a person is genuinely triggering for me, I’ve grown up seeing the harm that heavy drinking does. And yet I can still express that I despise drunkenness without calling alcoholics disgusting or stupid. They are neither. Why the double standard?

Why does MN hate smokers so much?
DownThePlath · 25/07/2020 18:33

I can't even believe some of these comments. My DM smokes. She's not a chav, rough, or thick. She picked up the habit in her 20's after having a nervous breakdown within her physically and sexually abuse first marriage, and unfortunately, has never been able to kick the habit after escaping him. But nice to know some people would judge her instantly

DownThePlath · 25/07/2020 18:34

abusive*

circumventgatekeeper · 25/07/2020 18:36

It stinks,
it lingers about,
the fag ends get left everywhere like they aren't counted as litter by smokers.
It stinks

People think that because they smoke they are entitled to bigger off for 10-20 min fag breaks every hour.

It stinks

ShyOwl · 25/07/2020 18:37

Our neighbour smokes as close to my daughters bedroom window as he can seem to get, the house on the other side is practically empty.

He knows we are putting her to bed, he can hear us, but we have to close the windows in the heat waves because of it and all my clothes end up smelling of fags if I don't realise he's out there until the smells wafted through the house.

My nan died of an aggressive form of lung cancer and my DHs mum smoked like a chimney all through her pregnancy and through to him leaving home. Then seems baffled as to why his eczema is agony from head to foot for him

I think people who smoke forget just how much the smell travels and unpleasant it can be. I have had bad morning sickness with both pregnancies and neighbours smoking has triggered it on many occasions too.

We are looking to move and would genuinely reconsider a place if it came to light that a neighbour smoked

EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 25/07/2020 18:38

It stinks
I hate pavements being covered in cigarette butts
I hate that some people think smoking outside means standing directly outside my window
Sitting outside a pub or restaurant invariably means some selfish idiot ignoring no smoking signs and blowing smoke all over you.

Same goes for smelly vaping.

Snog · 25/07/2020 18:38

I found smoking to be a lot more stressful than not smoking.
Once I gave up I had no stress of running out of fags and having to go out and get them however much I didn't want to late at night/ in bad weather etc due to how addicted I was.

Plenty of highly intelligent people smoke including professors and doctors so I think the judgement that only stupid people smoke is nonsense.

The smell though is pretty horrible, especially the mix of perfume and smoke.

DisobedientHamster · 25/07/2020 18:38

Getting old is a natural part of life.

Smoking isn't. It's completely unneccesary, and is a leading cause of avoidable illnesses and premature deaths.

So we have more people getting older as this natural part of life, many of them developing complex health problems like dementia that 'cost us'. What about obese people? That's not necessary, leading cause of illnesses and premature deaths as well, in some areas, it's overtaken smoking as such.

DolphinandDuck · 25/07/2020 18:39

"And yet, MN is bizarrely defensive about alcohol. Can’t think why."

Mumsnet isnt made up of a single person or a group all exactly the same. I dislike drinking too. But it doesnt waft over me or smell, or make me feel sick. I think people who rely on drink are weak, but dont seem to repulse me in the same way smokers do.

DolphinandDuck · 25/07/2020 18:41

"Plenty of highly intelligent people smoke including professors and doctors so I think the judgement that only stupid people smoke is nonsense."

You can be extremely intelligent and still be a bit thick.

1forAll74 · 25/07/2020 18:41

I smoke in appropriate places, but you get used to the smoke moaners complaining all over the place.Ex smokers complain about you also.

But then again,if I am in the smoking area of large pub garden, I complain,if loud adults,with badly behaved running about and screeching kids are there. The world is full of complainers !

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