About a baby being at the pub?

[Hcisab]

Its friday night, baby was maybe 1year old, seemed very happy and energetic, mum and dad both drinking but neither seemed drunk, both giving lots of attention to the baby and they left at 9 when all minors had to leave.

Would you judge them?

OP I don't judge people bringing babies out with them.
If your baby goes down at 5pm how does that work the next day?
I don't get that bit

@Goingprivate2020

For those with small ‘night owls’ up til 10/11 and later, how does that work with school when they can’t sleep in late? Lost sleep means tired minds which don’t achieve their potential.

Fine for now OP but a decent routine and proper bedtime is pretty important when they start nursery/school - and have to be up and out - so they can get enough sleep to function healthily.

My eldest was a real night owl up until 3 or so, then settled into a more normal sleeping pattern. I don't the the OP needs to worry about her 1 year old potentially being tired for school just yet!

OP I wouldn't judge you normally - we used to take DS1 to the pub when he was a small baby, but I wouldn't risk it at the moment with the coronavirus situation, the less public places the better right now - so I would judge you for that reason..

No judgment from me but then I was at the pub yesterday until 11pm and I’m 37 weeks pregnant so I’m sure people were judging me! (Was drinking fizzy water and will be isolating from next week when I hit 38 weeks so was planning on making the most of a last child free evening out for a while!)

Even in my slightly sketchy corner of south London, there are two types of pub - rough rowdy ones and family friendly gastros with food and high chairs, the sort that run baby groups from 11am on a Wednesday. I wouldn’t take baby to the first type of pub but tbh I don’t set foot in them myself! There does come a point where evening socialising is off the agenda when babies are a little older but certainly for the first year most of my friends with kids kept to similar routines as pre-baby and just brought them along to things, exhaustion permitting! You’ve got years and years of not being able to go out past 5pm because of the bedtime routine so I figure while they’re still small and can sleep in public if they get tired, why not?

No not at all.

@Pelleas ‘it’? Do you mean he/she or the child? I’m sure this baby is a human being and not a thing or an ‘it.’

Oh do it while you can when they’re young! We always took ours to the pub.
He’s older now and hates the pub as too far away from his toys/screens etc
That’s fine and we’re happy not to go now - hate seeing miserable kids sat in pubs while adults get pissed but love seeing cheeky babies beaming at everyone in the pub while their parents have one or two drinks - I would place couples bonding and building a stable relationship for their child over crazy routine where the parents are sat at home miserable and then split up etc

Baring in mind that 9pm children's licences are only handed out to family restaurant type pubs I'm going to assume that's where you were not a dance bar or rough dive somewhere. Absolutely no I'd not judge. I did it myself with both dc and now in 10 years there's never been an age or stage that they wouldn't have managed to stay up and enjoy this. I'd expect them to be calm and be controlled though and they'd not be dancing on tables.

No I wouldn’t judge, mine didn’t have routines at the age of 1 especially during the summer months when we would be out and about in the evenings, I can’t imagine having to stay home on a warm sunny evening because the baby has to be bathed at 6pm and asleep by 6.30pm. What a miserable existence.

@Jenasaurus

Going off the subject slightly, but I am interested to know if everyone was wearing masks in the pub or is that just shops and supermarkets.

Locally to me (Scotland) masks are to be worn if you're away from your table, but not when you're at it, because then you couldn't eat or drink.

@FilthyforFirth

Personally yes. One of my pet hates is seeing small children out late and presumably very out of their routine. Having small children means your life changes a bit for a while... Not that you cant go out, I went out for a meal with DH when DS was about 5 weeks old, but he was left at home with someone so as to not interrupt his routine.

I am a massive stickler for routine still and he is 3 now so perhaps I am the other end of the extreme!

Now you see, Id have judged you for going out and leaving a five week old baby at home without a parent. Id have thought how selfish they can’t put their date night on hold for a few months.

Not at all. We take ours to the pub with us. We live in a village and it's family oriented so it's not uncommon

Good for you! My DS would tell everyone about loving going to 'our local'. It was a fun village pub where loads of people knew each other. He's sit with a device playing games and eating hot chips when we were in the dining or outside area (front bar off limits to under 10s).

Absolutely not! You've still got to have a life! My husband and I were at the pub the other night with our DS (18 months) and we all had a great time, and there was no crying etc from him (I would have taken him home if there were). He was up later than his bedtime, but was straight to sleep once we got him home

Just to add - I would have also taken him home if he started to run around or cause disruption, but he stayed in his high chair the whole time playing with his puzzles

I'd probably admire your baby, and say "he's come for a pint....of milk".

No. 9pm is not that late! Especially in summer months when it's not dark until 10 or 11. A strict routine doesn't work for every child. I have never understood why people choose to put their children to bed at 6pm - you have fun getting up at 5am then - or let their childs routine dictate all their plans. You are a person before you are a parent (can't believe I have to say this but I'm sure someone will pick up on it if I don't - obviously this doesn't mean you can do anything you want and neglect your child).

The only issue I ever had with babies in pubs was those parents who came in early, would be drunk by teatime and stayed as late as possible, whilst their kids would do as they pleased, including making a mess in the toilets, crawling about under tables etc. I also found that it would be hard to have conversation because the kids would dominate the surroundings. But none of that applies to you Op, so I can’t see any problem.

For those with small ‘night owls’ up til 10/11 and later, how does that work with school when they can’t sleep in late? Lost sleep means tired minds which don’t achieve their potential.

Nothing makes them sleep earlier (apart from melatonin) so my oldest 2 who are at school tend to go at 10pm and get up at 8am. My 3 year old has never slept longer than 9 hrs anyway. If she goes to sleep at 7pm she is awake for the day at 3am. We’ve learned to work round what they are like. They are never tired and grumpy or tearful or the way other children seem to be. They are happy then they go to sleep when they are ready.

We stopped taking ds1 to pubs when he was 14 months old as he wanted to run around and chat to people. We resumed when he was 4ish and then only went to pubs with large kids play areas in the garden. Now he’s 7 he can go for a pizza and take his tablet no problem.

Not at all. I think it's good to introduce children to such settings so they learn how to behave in them. It's much more inclusive as a family.

For those with small ‘night owls’ up til 10/11 and later, how does that work with school when they can’t sleep in late? Lost sleep means tired minds which don’t achieve their potential.

Their sleep regulates. My DD was very much a night owl as a baby. Since she's been at nursery, the excitement and exertion has worn her out more and she goes to bed earlier.

@Crankley Providing the child wasn't knocking back doubles- I don't see a problem.

...and had put a tenner in the kitty.

For those with small ‘night owls’ up til 10/11 and later, how does that work with school when they can’t sleep in late? Lost sleep means tired minds which don’t achieve their potential.

Mine go to bed earlier during the week term time and stay up later at weekends and during holidays. They have no problem adapting as we've always done it this way. Strict routines to me are extremely limiting both for adults and for the dc in terms of experiences imo.

I wouldn’t judge. We didn’t have a routine for my daughter at that age. She slept when she was tired and didn’t when she wasn’t. Children naturally have a very good sleep cycle, with frequent naps. Unfortunately we change them and train them to fit into our style of sleeping which is more unnatural. My daughter has never had a meltdown or tantrum and she started sleeping through with a 7pm bedtime when she started going to the childminder she’s 2 1/2 and sleeps 12 hours from aged 3. We just listened to her queues and followed them until she was old enough to understand

"DS was having a great time, dancing on the tables and all !"

Total non event, I wouldn't judge you.

My DD was similar - now she's older she likes to be asleep by 8 but at just turned 1 she was still on a roughly 4hr sleep/feed/play schedule and was delighted to be out and about in the evenings.

Our lives were fab when she was that age. Enjoy it!