To think you can’t really say you’re shielding....

[2020wasShocking]

So you can’t help out with childcare for one grandchild (when both parents work and are struggling for childcare but don’t want to lose job)

....but you have another grandson staying with you for a weeks holiday?

So the job you don't want to lose is for 3 random days over the entire school holiday? Those are strange working hours.

I assume OP has sorted out childcare for the rest of the summer but these three days are still a problem.

"Also the other parents don’t work, ones a teacher and the order doesn’t work."

The risk of transmittion will then be lower than it would be from a household where parents are going out to work. Shielding advice has been just that and people who have been advised to shield have been making their own assessments about what is safe or in someone's best interests.

I think it sounds a bit crap of them although I guess its their prerogative. I'd be annoyed too. I wonder if they think it is safer to have him for one whole week for some reason? You could ask them. Or they've got muddled up with what a social bubble is? For a social bubble one of the houses should have a single adult in.
Depending on how old the other dgc is, it might not be a fun week if they're still shielding and very seldom leave the house!.

The key thing about shielding is whether you had the letter

And then how far you follow the advice

Since 6 July we have been allowed to bubble, including overnight stays, but only with the one person.

Deciding to bubble for a holiday might not be against the rules. Eciaoly as it is one person, and so the bubble is with him/his immediate family only.

That does mean they cannot have indoors contact with another family, but could still see them at minimum 2m distance outdoors

They don't appear to be making a major breach of the current shielding rules, at present.

And yes, the 'bubble with only one other' rule is tough in families where there are eg 2 sets of grandparents, because either they cannot do it at all, or someone ends up feeling miffed.

There is a long thread on shielding families and the return to school. If you dip into that, you might see why those currently shielding (newly deshielded by then) are so very worried about it.

They don't want to do the childcare.

There's a big difference between potential transmission now - when people have been relatively isolated and most socialising is outdoors, and what it will be like come autumn.

If your concern is that your DC is missing her GPS, then perhaps she could see them inside? Or wait a fortnight (with no/low mixing with anyone beyond family) and then go and stay with them before term starts?

The age old question of 'damn, what do do for childcare now that family can't help' is the subject of many threads. You need to start looking for after schooos clubs, a childminder or an afterschool babysitter/nanny. Perhaps teaming up with another family?

Maybe they’ve agreed that the other GC will shield at home for a week before visiting Whereas this would be hard for you to do as Is 3 different days?

Shielding stops end of the month anyway - it sounds like they don’t want to be a source of free childcare , I can’t blame them

@mrsbyers

Shielding stops end of the month anyway - it sounds like they don’t want to be a source of free childcare , I can’t blame them

Just because it officially "stops, the risks don't magically disappear. There is a lot of specific advice for the newly released shielders to help them avoid catching it. It's certainly not a "back a you were" scenario.

www.gov.uk/government/publications/guidance-on-shielding-and-protecting-extremely-vulnerable-persons-from-covid-19/guidance-on-shielding-and-protecting-extremely-vulnerable-persons-from-covid-19

@Kazzyhoward I’m more than aware of that thanks as I’m high risk -but it’s guidance not rules so the individual can decide on how to manage their own risks

How old is your child? What other options have you looked at? Some holiday clubs are back open now.

Is there another reason they don't want to look after your child? Are they harder work to look after than the other grandchild?

"They’d be looking after mine for maybe 3 random days in the whole summer holidays, when we’re absolutely desperate and literally can’t do anything other than phone I’m sick."
Literally can't do anything other than phone in sick? I don't think you know what 'literally' actually means? 🤣

Why would you phone in sick on 3 random days throughout the school summer holidays when you have no childcare? Why be dishonest? What's wrong with informing your place of work that you can't come in because you have no childcare? Can't you take annual leave or unpaid leave?

Just remember too that, in the event of redundancies, someone who takes random days off sick will be viewed in a poorer light than others.

"Shielding stops end of the month anyway"

Shielding is "paused" on 01 August.

I think some posters are being deliberately obtuse op. Yes choosing to help one child and grandchild but not another is shitty however it’s dressed up.

And the GPS here are making that decision MrsByers

They've kicked the arse out of the bubble idea (but as the parents are a teacher during school hols and a someone who does not WOH, then the other household is probably very low risk) but have only had one person overnight.

But they have decided to follow the rest of the advice, as pp said they are managing their risks and are currently sticking closely (but not perfectly) to the guidance.

I think you need to start looking for other childcare for the autumn, OP. You might not like what they're doing, but they are not being unreasonable. And better for you to know now, whilst you have time to start the hunt for something suitable, rather than discover later that their decisions on risk are unchanged by the 1August changes

(which allows for food shopping in person (though supermarket priority and NHS volunteers will still exist for those disinclined), visits to places of worship, exercise only outdoors at 2+ and return to Covid-secure workplaces)

If she wants her DC to be treated equally to the other, there would still be time for a week in the summer hols with the GPs. She's need to find how long GPs think should be between visits, and what isolation before DC goes there. But there should be time before the return

The view on MN is that grandparents have the right to choose to do no childcare and you have no right to feel entitled to any. Which I agree with. However, I think in your circumstances you have the right to feel hurt and excluded on behalf of your DS. It’s not nice that they have chosen one over the other.
Why did he stay for five days? Do they live far away? Do they get to see your DS in the garden?

There's a lot of people who know fuck all about shielding that seem to have very strong opinions about shielders should and shouldn't be doing.

Yes choosing to help one child and grandchild but not another is shitty however it’s dressed up.

We don't know it's shitty though as we've only asked for one side of the story. Pre Covid how much childcare did they do? Is the child difficult to look after?

There may be more to their decision but none of us know that.

"Yes choosing to help one child and grandchild but not another is shitty however it’s dressed up."

Not if seeing or looking after one grandchild is riskier than the other.

@BumblebeeBum

So they are doing childcare for you? 3 days of it? But the other grandchild is getting 5 days childcare? Is that the issue? 2 days extra childcare when you feel you need it more than the other family?

No Bumble, they are not seeing my DC and not baby sitting at all. I would have needed 3 days covered as I’ve managed to work around most of my days.

They are having the other GC for 5 days, just because really.

They are mid 60’s no underlying health conditions, not overweight etc...

All the kids are older than 7 and nine is the oldest.

I mean mine is the oldest!! Older than 9!

If both other gc parents are not working and having minimal contact with outside world then it's less of risk to have DC stay for 5 days. Plus there is a difference between looking after a 9 year old and a 7 year old.

YABU - they are following the guidance and it sounds as if they don't want to become your regular childcare (which is fair enough)

Why are they shielding if they have no underlying health conditions and are in their 60s? Have they even had the shielding letter or are they choosing to ‘follow’ the shielding guidelines for other reasons?

My DC grandparents have actually had the letter and choose to follow the shielding advice when it suits. Or not. Depending on which GC it is but this is nothing new for me - they’ve always been inconsistent in their treatment of the different GC.

I agree they are being unreasonable but there’s not much you can do. You won’t win any awards for pointing out their inconsistencies or the unfairness of the situation, you just have to decide whether their behaviour is something you want to expose your child to. At 9+ they are old enough to understand that their GP see their cousins and not them.

No they aren't @PlanDeRaccordement. The guidance around bubbles is: "Those who are shielding and live alone or are single parents with children will also be able to create a ‘support bubble’ with one other household of any size"

A person living alone or a single parent can create a bubble with another household. That's the guidance. It's not dropping your child off for a weeks holiday with granny and grandad.

I only picked you because you linked to the guidance. Everyone else who says they're following the rules is also wrong!