40+ year old women posting selfies on social media - is this a new trend?

[bogeywoman]

Quite a few of my friends/acquaintances have recently started posting very posed selfies (without much in the way of a description) on FB and instagram. Women who are well into their 40s, married with children. Is this some sort of lockdown related insecurity? I find it so strange.

I also think it is weird and I was quite pleased with how I looked at that age; I just dislike exhibitionism.
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Each to their own I suppose. I wouldn't say age has much to do with it, it's a mindset. Imagine your kids' friends and their parents seeing the photographs! Not appropriate in my view because these things don't just disappear but - as long as you don't do it, don't worry.

Exhibitionism? photos you would be embarrassed to have children's friends or parents see? Do you think selfie implies porn?

is that what half the problem is here, that people don't even understand what a selfie is? I mean sure, it can be cringe stuff, but few people share that publicly, and those that do, in my experience, are pretty out there in person, so that it carries through to there social media is no surprise. the rest of us are just sharing our new haircut or glasses, or bragging about having a nice time out. Nothing exhibitionist or embarrassing at all.

How appalling. Women in their 40s, married with children, posting selfies!

for shame.

I think a lot of people are guilty of a selfie but posting them on SM is weird.

I've got quite a few friends in their 40s and older who post a lot of selfies. Not usually just of them for no "reason", it will be overlooking the harbour or after a run or with a cocktail in the garden.

I expect there is some deep seated insecurity/need for approval about it but it is noticable but only those who are photogenic do it!

selfies are always a bit dickish, as however much you pay for your brickphone the camera will always distort at arms length.

add the 'recently lobotomised' pout, the thick makeup, the rectangular eyebrows and the red circles round mouth and eyes for the full set of comedy.

@Cociabutter what, pray tell, is the wrong side of 40?

Social media is all about "self " so why is posting a selfie weird? I .think every woman over 40 should be as visible as she wants to be and good for her

Yes, the filters! There's one woman I used to work with who I was sure had had extensive work done, which admittedly did seem unlikely, until I saw her again recently and she looked nothing like the pictures.

My sister in law does this. Pretty much the only thing going for her in her life is her facebook profile. Unhappy marriage. Unhappy worklife. Hasn’t been on a holiday in years. No friends. But she keeps herself happy and motivated by sharing selfies of herself dressed up.

Oh come on, everyone knows that women on the wrong side of 40 should be hiding away in caves, not inflicting their wrong side of 40 face/body onto poor unsuspecting SM users.

Any staged selfie is cringe, regardless of age or gender.

Lots of awful comments on here. The good thing is they won't have any impact on women 40+ posting selfies.
No comments yet about how awful men are for posting selfies? No comment from the OP about their age and sex? What a surprise

People in their 40s didn't have Instagram in their 20s, why not post pics of yourself. There is a whole thing around family photos without mums in them because it often falls to the mum to take the pics (wasn't there an AIBU recently because someone's 'D'H had made a photoframe thing with multiple pictures of the DCs, some with him, and not one of the mum? etc etc)

So yes, take your selfies, with or without landmarks, with or without other people and don't listen to the grumpy naysayers.

There are so few pictures of me and it's nice to have a few to look back on. I dont really care if people think I'm too old, when I was younger I used to worry about that stuff which is why there are so few photos of me.

I hate pictures of me too, and this is totally me. I always think i look too fat, and yet when i do see the rare photos that do exist, i think "blimey, i wish i was that slim now".

TAKE THE PHOTOS!

Ageist, misogynistic rubbish. Part of the problem. How sad for you.

Disgusting, women over 40 shouldn’t be on social media at all. The horror

Am in my late 30s and will sometimes post a photo have taken of myself onto my Instagram ! I wouldn’t post them onto my Facebook though. It’s all about the caption really....

It's so people say 'aw gawjus' and 'stunna'.

When they don't look like that at all.

I'm over 40 but don't post selfies either. Most of my friends don't. The ones that I see (friends of friends) look they've escaped from prisoner cell block H and i'm 100% sure i'm not just being a bitch thinking they don't look 'beautiful hun'.

It's this weird SM thing I think where people live in a fantasy land and their 'friends' collude.

Fucking 40 year old women. They should just stay invisible .

FWIW, if there is a "wrong side" of 40 it's the younger side when you worry more about how you look and what people think. Being over 40 is brilliant and over 50 is even better. Me and my middle aged friends when on a long bike ride with a very noisy sociable lunch yesterday. If people thought we were too old, we were having more fun than they were.

Occasionally we do do a group selfie but mostly we're too busy having fun to bother/remember

I love it when my friends posts selfies, whatever age they are. I always think “good on you!” We’re so conditioned to hate ourselves and I love seeing people defy that bullshit notion.

So much judging on here; it would be funny if it wasn’t so sad.

I've never said gawgus in my life if my 40 or 50 year old friends post a selfie I'll like or comment but if somebody gets a boost with a gawgus or stunna what is wrong with that ?

I also find this interesting because it's trying to shame women for taking photos of themselves and yet, statistically, women are less likely to appear in family photos. It's why there's regular campaigns/posts/inspirational articles encouraging women to get photos of themselves. Often, when children look back on photos, their mums are missing because they don't feel they look 'good enough'. And yet here we have a bunch of 'posters' trying to encourage women to go back to the shadows because they're not 'gorgeous' ffs.
Perhaps it's in the hope, the world will forget what women over 40 look like ... there will be no word for women; no photos of women. . . except the ones deemed 'gorgeous and pornified'.
This entire thread is making me want to plaster my social media with selfies. Who knew posting a pic would almost become a political act because the world has become so misogynistic?

It's not new. It's also a supreme non issue. You can ignore it if it offends you for some reason. Or you can do it yourself if you want to. You don't need to be held back by some weird and baseless moralistic objection if you like the idea.

I'd much rather see a picture of my friends than the view/their dinner/an artfully placed bunch of flowers/their dogs/their kids etc.

Not everyone who does a selfie is an insecure narcissist.

OP maybe you should be examining your ageist attitude rather than wondering why people are taking selfies.

Does it really matter how old they are? If my 92 year old granny wants to upload a posed selfie, then more power to her. If you're easily offended by aging skin, then please look away.