Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Should we report to SS?

90 replies

seasame · 22/07/2020 09:41

NC as some details are revealing about the neighbours. My neighbours have caused a lot of issues during lockdown. Late night garden parties until 3am (no social distancing), constant stream of visitors, children left playing in the street unsupervised causing damage etc. They seem like heavy drinkers. Glass box is full to the brim every bin day, moaned at us that it was beer garden weather and lockdown was stopping them living their lives how they want. They regularly leave their around 7 and 10 year old boys alone all day until late at night. I presume to go out drinking as they apparently WFH with their own clothing line. It doesn’t sell well so not sure where they get their money from but that’s none of my business.

So it was no surprise to me when they left at lunchtime yesterday and didn’t return until 8am this morning. Leaving a 7 and 10 year old alone for almost 24 hours. No one came to the house to look after them (our front doors are close together so would be able to hear and we were in all day/night). I kept an eye out as well as I was deeply concerned for their welfare. They were causing horrendous levels of noise, running amok around the street, playing in the back garden until gone midnight. What did they eat? What would have happened to them if their parents were in an accident and no one knew they were alone at home? It honestly blows my mind that they think it’s acceptable to leave young children alone for that long. They clearly went out drinking and stayed at a mates as they were very vocal to us about how excited they were that the pubs have reopened. They have coincidentally been out every evening til late since they reopened.

It really shows that things are definitely not what they seem online. The mother’s Facebook is one of those ‘full time mummy to two perfect boys’ yet she never wants to spend time with them. Constantly ignores them (Can be heard through open windows) and have friends over 24/7. It’s also worrying that they are speakers at a local Life Church.

Now I would love to notify the Church that they speak at as they are definitely not good Christian role models but feel that’s probably quite petty! But should I report to SS now or if it happens again. I’m not one to immediately jump to ‘call SS’ the moment a parent does something wrong but it isn’t right on the children. They can have friends/family over all day every day but can’t get someone to watch their children? It speaks volumes that they clearly don’t care about their safety or wellbeing. I’m honestly torn as to what to do. Maybe I should approach other neighbours first to see if they also noticed as the parents could easily claim that we’re lying/get the children to lie to SS.

OP posts:
DoIneed1 · 22/07/2020 09:43

Don't approach other neighbours. Just report your concerns.

Thierryhenryneedisaymore · 22/07/2020 09:46

Report
Report
Report

They are neglected at best. If you don't look out for them, who will?

The situation will only get worse. I would also notify their school.

Lockdownseperation · 22/07/2020 09:49

There is a lot of unnecessary judgement in your post but also some serious concerns. They needs report to SS. If you think the children are not safe or are currently being left alone over night or other long periods of time then call the police so they can do an immediate welfare check.

LovingLola · 22/07/2020 09:50

I would call police and SS.

Rainallnight · 22/07/2020 09:51

Yes, report to SS and also to police if they’re alone for long periods of time again.

Don’t speak to other neighbours about it though.

bewilderd · 22/07/2020 09:52

Police and SS. Far too young to be alone for that amount of time. They sound neglected.

MyTearsAreOnFire · 22/07/2020 09:52

Income, wealth and religion aside - you should report. Poor boys

seasame · 22/07/2020 09:53

Lockdownseperation I would agree with you but they’re very open to us about their alcohol usage, I’m not just presuming it.

I will report as someone needs to intervene before something happens to the children next time they get left alone all night.

OP posts:
CodenameVillanelle · 22/07/2020 09:53

Obviously. I can't believe you didn't call the police when you realised they had been left alone. FFS

FourPlasticRings · 22/07/2020 09:53

Yeah, this needs reporting. I don't think it's technically illegal to leave them at home alone but they're likely to get a warning about accountability if something does happen when they're out. And SS may find something else of concern whilst investigating.

Realityofsen · 22/07/2020 09:53

Police next time and SS immediately

Destroyedpeople · 22/07/2020 09:55

You can do an anonymous report through the Internet to that other organisation that works with ss...
Whatever it's called...

Chungus · 22/07/2020 09:56

I would have reported this a long time a go, to the police and social services.

It would be pretty disgusting of you to tell the fricking church and not the police.

My2catsarefab · 22/07/2020 09:56

Report to SS with firm evidence. Don't discuss with neighbours.

Strongswans · 22/07/2020 09:57

Of course report! I can't understand why you didn't ring the police last night.

mrsed1987 · 22/07/2020 09:57

You should have called the police at the time. Not much good calling ss now as parents will just deny it.

Sharpandshineyteeth · 22/07/2020 09:58

Call the police next time they are alone at night. Report to SS as well but the police have powers to come out immediately and see for themselves. Sometimes SS referrals can be written off as malicious.

Laaalaaaa · 22/07/2020 09:58

You’re being unreasonable for needing justification from strangers online before you even contemplate reporting this. FFS

Prettybluepigeons · 22/07/2020 09:58

Why the fuck didn't you phone the police when you knew two children were home alone overnight?
I can't believe what I am reading!

islandislandisland · 22/07/2020 10:00

If you suspect that they are left by themselves again then I would phone the police, that absolutely is an emergency and if they attend and find the boys alone they will deal with the social services side. If you only report to social services then it's possible they will start by 'having a chat' with the parents who will probably deny it and nothing will be done unless there have been previous concerns. If they are well off they're probably good at talking to authorities/being convincing as well.

ItStartedWithAKiss241 · 22/07/2020 10:00

I think you should have rang the police when they were playing outside alone at midnight! X

Monkeydog123 · 22/07/2020 10:00

So you've been curtain twitching and moaning but not doing anything except coming on MN to get a pat on the back?

You don't need to ask here. You know that FFS.

AvoidingRealHumans · 22/07/2020 10:01

You day it blows your mind that they were left alone all that time and you're worried about what they ate etc..

Well it blows my mind that you knew this was happening and didn't intervene, call the police or at the very least offer them something to eat.

Absolutely you need to report this, you could call the NSPCC or ss.

I don't know what you're asking here, I couldn't live with myself if anything happened to them and I knew that they were being neglected in this way.

AvoidingRealHumans · 22/07/2020 10:01

Say*

Mittens030869 · 22/07/2020 10:12

I'm shocked that you didn't report them long ago. Of course it's neglect and dangerous for those children. Report to SS and police next time you see it happen. Don't gossip to neighbours, though.

I don't see why them going to church has to do with it, we all know that there are seemingly committed Christians who abuse their kids. My siblings and I were. A few years ago, we involved the police because of the historical SA we went through. I don't blame friends and neighbours for not reporting that, as they wouldn't have known. But when we approached people who knew us then, they mend things they had been concerned about, but they never did anything about it, ever.

Don't be like that. Please act. Because all you're seeing is what's happening outside; you don't know what else might be happening. I'm not saying it's likely to be as bad as what happened to us (that is rare, thankfully), but there could be physical abuse and, as you said, they really might be going hungry.

Swipe left for the next trending thread