Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Should we report to SS?

90 replies

seasame · 22/07/2020 09:41

NC as some details are revealing about the neighbours. My neighbours have caused a lot of issues during lockdown. Late night garden parties until 3am (no social distancing), constant stream of visitors, children left playing in the street unsupervised causing damage etc. They seem like heavy drinkers. Glass box is full to the brim every bin day, moaned at us that it was beer garden weather and lockdown was stopping them living their lives how they want. They regularly leave their around 7 and 10 year old boys alone all day until late at night. I presume to go out drinking as they apparently WFH with their own clothing line. It doesn’t sell well so not sure where they get their money from but that’s none of my business.

So it was no surprise to me when they left at lunchtime yesterday and didn’t return until 8am this morning. Leaving a 7 and 10 year old alone for almost 24 hours. No one came to the house to look after them (our front doors are close together so would be able to hear and we were in all day/night). I kept an eye out as well as I was deeply concerned for their welfare. They were causing horrendous levels of noise, running amok around the street, playing in the back garden until gone midnight. What did they eat? What would have happened to them if their parents were in an accident and no one knew they were alone at home? It honestly blows my mind that they think it’s acceptable to leave young children alone for that long. They clearly went out drinking and stayed at a mates as they were very vocal to us about how excited they were that the pubs have reopened. They have coincidentally been out every evening til late since they reopened.

It really shows that things are definitely not what they seem online. The mother’s Facebook is one of those ‘full time mummy to two perfect boys’ yet she never wants to spend time with them. Constantly ignores them (Can be heard through open windows) and have friends over 24/7. It’s also worrying that they are speakers at a local Life Church.

Now I would love to notify the Church that they speak at as they are definitely not good Christian role models but feel that’s probably quite petty! But should I report to SS now or if it happens again. I’m not one to immediately jump to ‘call SS’ the moment a parent does something wrong but it isn’t right on the children. They can have friends/family over all day every day but can’t get someone to watch their children? It speaks volumes that they clearly don’t care about their safety or wellbeing. I’m honestly torn as to what to do. Maybe I should approach other neighbours first to see if they also noticed as the parents could easily claim that we’re lying/get the children to lie to SS.

OP posts:
cuntryclub · 22/07/2020 12:37

[quote Noitsprobablynot]@cuntryclub

Anyone twitching their curtains to watch a 7 and 10 year old left alone and not fed overnight but comes on MN to announce it instead is a twat of the highest order.[/quote]

Oh. Ok.

Noitsprobablynot · 22/07/2020 12:38

Well, yes. Do you disagree?

OutOfHours · 22/07/2020 12:43

I put YABU because you should have contacted them already!!

If at any point you are concerned for a child's welfare, report it, if there is no issues, SS will not intervene, if there is, they will.

Kitcat47 · 22/07/2020 12:48

Report them

Weebitawks · 22/07/2020 12:48

@Noitsprobablynot urgh it is not as easy as it sounds reporting people to SS. There's a lot of self doubt. The op sounds like she wants to do the right thing and wanted some advise. I say this as someone who has reported to SS before.

Iwalkinmyclothing · 22/07/2020 12:50

Of course report.

I'm a bit confused as to why you didn't call the police when you were aware a 7 and 10 year old were alone overnight though.

Pebblexox · 22/07/2020 12:52

I'm actually very confused as to why you haven't reported this already.
One of our neighbours left her child alone, locked in the house. The minute I saw her leave I tracked the time when she hadn't returned in 10 minutes I called the police. They did an immediate welfare check, and fortunately the little girl was okay but I would have hated myself has she of not been. Imagine if they got the oven turned on, or any number of dangerous things.
REPORT THIS NOW!!

Noitsprobablynot · 22/07/2020 13:01

@Weebitawks

No it's really easy. You don't even have to give your name. In this case OP could have called the emergency duty team or indeed the Police at midnight or even earlier.

Next door neighbours primary aged kids are alone at home, they need help.

Job done. Very easy.

BilbyBlue · 22/07/2020 13:12

Wow! How could you not report two children left alone. You should have done it at the time. You need to still report it so social services starts to get a picture of what's going on.

Mischance · 22/07/2020 13:15

I do think that you should report this.

SuperStay7 · 22/07/2020 13:16

I would’ve called the police that night if I knew the children were alone. Definitely call SS.

JaaniGoGo · 22/07/2020 13:43

We had a neighbour a few years back who left her 10 year old and 4 year old at home alone. We found out later she had severe mh issue, but didn’t know this at the time. The 4 year old had managed to open the front door and we found her wandering around near a very busy main road. I saw through my window, ran to grab her and went back to their house to check what had happened. The 10 year old was trying to make them sandwiches and hadn’t realised his sister had run out.

You know the first thing I did? I called the police and took them to my house until they arrived. They were quite new to the street and I’d only met them a handful of times but still, as a human, I could not stand by and let the kids fend for themselves.

I honestly can not understand how you, knowing they were alone for hours, stood by and did nothing.

Mittens030869 · 22/07/2020 14:40

@JaaniGoGo I agree with you. I have to say, I blame those people who did nothing despite their concerns when my siblings and I were children. I don't blame them as much as the perpetrators, especially my F, but even so. There was actually no one who was at all shocked when we told them about the SA (apart from my DM, who was devastated), which to me said all there was to say.

A few of them were employees of my parents, though, which does make their lack of action understandable. The church members who did nothing, and the nuns at my convent school, though, it's a different matter where they're concerned.

It may be that there's nothing as bad as that going on. But what you've observed is bad enough. There have been too many cases where there's hand wringing after a child has died as a result of abuse in the home, with neighbours saying that they knew there was something wrong but did nothing.

Child welfare is the responsibility of us all.

youwereagoodcakeclyde · 22/07/2020 14:45

Definitely report it.
Don't tell their church!
They might lie to SS but obviously this is SS area and they can investigate.
What you have observed is enough, you do not need to ask neighbours for corroborating evidence.

Cam2020 · 22/07/2020 14:45

I agree, you should report. Don't speak to anyone else about it. I'd defi itwly have concerns.

HoppingPavlova · 22/07/2020 14:48

Why would you not have called the police at the time when you realised they were alone at night and gave them real with the situation then and there?

AmyandPhilipfan · 22/07/2020 14:51

To be honest it’s probably pointless reporting now as the parents will deny it. Twice I have reported someone for things I had been reliably told had been witnessed and, even though she was known to social services for previous child neglect, on both occasions when I followed up my query I was told ‘oh yes, we asked her about that and she said it didn’t happen so that’s the end of the matter.’ The time to take action was when you saw two young children outside at midnight and knew there was no parent at home.

thismumismad · 22/07/2020 15:01

I looked into this because a friends 15yr old DD wanted to stay at home rather than come on a visit to visit me. You can't leave a child at home overnight until they are at least 16 years of age. Yes report. Its definitely neglect.

InappropriateFire · 22/07/2020 15:04

Jesus Christ the OP isn’t the person going out getting pissed and leaving her 7&10 year olds alone all night.
Some people lack confidence in their own judgement or grew up in a time or place when this wasn’t unheard of. Leave her alone FFS and just say “yes, report”.

InappropriateFire · 22/07/2020 15:07

OP I’m sorry people are laying into you.
I’m also sorry this much responsibility is being laid on your shoulders. Do not approach the church. Who knows whether you’d speak to someone with very bad intentions whom you’ve then given info to regarding how/when the kids are alone.

As soon as they are left alone again, report immediately. Keep calling. This needs dealt with.

Awful fuckers leaving their kids like that. They don’t deserve them.

blackcat86 · 22/07/2020 15:07

I'm shocked that no one bothered to call the police last night but instead curtain twitched to ease their own guilt. Of course you need to call SS about the whole thing but really someone should have called the police and reported it at the time. Don't leave it to happen again as that could the time something serious happens to the DC.

FourPlasticRings · 22/07/2020 15:09

To be honest it’s probably pointless reporting now as the parents will deny it.

I disagree. With things like this, multiple reports build up a picture over time. It's not helpful to suggest people shouldn't bother reporting concerns unless they are currently in progress.

Nixen · 22/07/2020 15:15

They’re awful parents and yes, this should be reported to SS.
However, I can’t believe you went to bed knowing full well they were alone in the house next door. Bet if there had been a fire you’d have been the first one crying to the news cameras! You should have phoned the police immediately!

Chocoholic12 · 22/07/2020 15:40

Why have you not reported this??? You should have rang the police when they were home alone running around the garden at midnight!!!! Cannot believe what some people will ignore 😡😡

Chocoholic12 · 22/07/2020 15:48

Someone said OP may lack confidence in her judgement?? What person would not call the police (let alone simply report to SS) on this situation that is not lacking judgement thats on another level 😡 What kind of mother/father/aunt/uncle/human being needs to even ask the question.