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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Should we report to SS?

90 replies

seasame · 22/07/2020 09:41

NC as some details are revealing about the neighbours. My neighbours have caused a lot of issues during lockdown. Late night garden parties until 3am (no social distancing), constant stream of visitors, children left playing in the street unsupervised causing damage etc. They seem like heavy drinkers. Glass box is full to the brim every bin day, moaned at us that it was beer garden weather and lockdown was stopping them living their lives how they want. They regularly leave their around 7 and 10 year old boys alone all day until late at night. I presume to go out drinking as they apparently WFH with their own clothing line. It doesn’t sell well so not sure where they get their money from but that’s none of my business.

So it was no surprise to me when they left at lunchtime yesterday and didn’t return until 8am this morning. Leaving a 7 and 10 year old alone for almost 24 hours. No one came to the house to look after them (our front doors are close together so would be able to hear and we were in all day/night). I kept an eye out as well as I was deeply concerned for their welfare. They were causing horrendous levels of noise, running amok around the street, playing in the back garden until gone midnight. What did they eat? What would have happened to them if their parents were in an accident and no one knew they were alone at home? It honestly blows my mind that they think it’s acceptable to leave young children alone for that long. They clearly went out drinking and stayed at a mates as they were very vocal to us about how excited they were that the pubs have reopened. They have coincidentally been out every evening til late since they reopened.

It really shows that things are definitely not what they seem online. The mother’s Facebook is one of those ‘full time mummy to two perfect boys’ yet she never wants to spend time with them. Constantly ignores them (Can be heard through open windows) and have friends over 24/7. It’s also worrying that they are speakers at a local Life Church.

Now I would love to notify the Church that they speak at as they are definitely not good Christian role models but feel that’s probably quite petty! But should I report to SS now or if it happens again. I’m not one to immediately jump to ‘call SS’ the moment a parent does something wrong but it isn’t right on the children. They can have friends/family over all day every day but can’t get someone to watch their children? It speaks volumes that they clearly don’t care about their safety or wellbeing. I’m honestly torn as to what to do. Maybe I should approach other neighbours first to see if they also noticed as the parents could easily claim that we’re lying/get the children to lie to SS.

OP posts:
AranciaRosso · 22/07/2020 10:16

NC as some details are revealing about the neighbours

Well yes, exactly. No need to NC. If they read this they'll know fine well who you are.

Riv · 22/07/2020 10:23

In safeguarding training we were taught “if in doubt, there’s no doubt you must report “. Something that seems a little bit worrying to you might just be the part of the jigsaw of evidence that completes the full picture. Or it might be nothing. The SS can collect the pieces and assemble them or discard - that’s not your job- your job is to send them the pieces.
From what you say, you are being negligent by not reporting the way you feel these boys are being treated.

Gin4thewin · 22/07/2020 10:27

Next time she buggers off and leaves them, call 101 and report a concern for welfare. Call SS too

Greysofa · 22/07/2020 10:28

I’d be reporting to Social Services definitely, and the next time you suspect the children are home alone, ring the police there and then and tell them. The police will only act if the children are alone at the time of reporting, not at a later time.

bungleZippy12 · 22/07/2020 10:30

Social worker here. Absolutely you need to call the police immediately if/when the children are left alone, and even more so, if this is at night.

Iloveyoutothefridgeandback · 22/07/2020 10:31

Please report this. Those poor children.

Do not say anything to anyone. Only you and your DH need to know that you have reported. Absolutely no good can come from anyone else knowing that you have reported it.

ArchbishopOfBanterbury · 22/07/2020 10:48

The church and the recycling bin aren't the issue here.

Next time the children are left alone, please report it. Keeping them safe is more important than the judging.

user1493413286 · 22/07/2020 10:51

Next time they’re left alone like that call the police; if you call social services they will just deny it but if you call the police and they find the children alone it provides evidence.

Mittens030869 · 22/07/2020 10:58

But when we approached people who knew us then, they mend things they had been concerned about, but they never did anything about it, ever.

That was meant to be mentioned. Whoops. Blush

userabcname · 22/07/2020 11:08

Why did you not call the police when you knew there was an unattended 7 and 10yo playing in their back garden at midnight??!!! Ffs.

81Byerley · 22/07/2020 11:15

In 1973 in Brighton, a little girl called Maria Colwell was murdered by her stepfather. Besides the violence this seven year old had suffered, there were many neighbours who later came forward to report having seen the child searching through bins for food. You should ALWAYS report if you think a child is being neglected. My advice would be to report this now, and if it happens again, keep reporting it. These children are not safe.

Thislittlelady · 22/07/2020 11:25

Don’t approach other neighbours. You know you need to report this. Just do that.

Felifox · 22/07/2020 11:34

It seems as though once your ndns have a drink responsibility flies out of the window. At 7 and 10 they are too young to he left alone.

Report them and if it happens again call the police.

LadyPrigsbottom · 22/07/2020 11:37

This absolutely sounds like neglect to me. I cannot believe how many parents seem to think it is ok or appropriate to leave their kids home alone. Ffs AngrySad.

Yes, I would report.

TeaAndHobnob · 22/07/2020 11:40

Call the police next time they are left alone for a long time. They will respond much more quickly than SS and will refer the family to SS anyway as part of mandatory obligations.

storminabuttercup · 22/07/2020 11:40

I can't believe you didn't call the police yesterday. Yes absolutely report

Lipz · 22/07/2020 11:42

Tbh I would have rang the police last night. While it's probably too late now to ring them I think I would still voice my concerns to SS and phone the police if they are left alone again.

Bridecilla · 22/07/2020 11:46

Report - to the police when you're sure they're alone again. Very sad

SantaIsReal · 22/07/2020 11:52

Report to SS straight away & if they are left alone again, call the police! They will do a welfare check on the children & as soon as they go to the house and realise the children have been left alone. Always report as it would be on your conscience if something horrible were to happen.

MrsTWH · 22/07/2020 11:54

You know a 7 and 10 year old were left on their own overnight and did nothing about it? Are you serious?

Yes I would report to SS - and next time they swan off, call the police at the time!!

cuntryclub · 22/07/2020 12:02

@AranciaRosso

Well yes, exactly. No need to NC. If they read this they'll know fine well who you are.

The name change is to protect OP posting history. So if the neighbours see this they will of course recognise themselves but they won't be able to see any if OP other posts.

cuntryclub · 22/07/2020 12:03

@My2catsarefab

Report to SS with firm evidence. Don't discuss with neighbours.

This is quite misleading. You don't need any evidence to report a concern. You report and SS gather their evidence.

cuntryclub · 22/07/2020 12:05

People should lay off OP for not reporting this prior to now. She isn't the person to blame here. Yes the authorities do need to know and OP is going to report but making out she is the person at fault is wrong.

PrincessForADay · 22/07/2020 12:27

That's incredibly sad, agree with PPs to report

Noitsprobablynot · 22/07/2020 12:36

@cuntryclub

Anyone twitching their curtains to watch a 7 and 10 year old left alone and not fed overnight but comes on MN to announce it instead is a twat of the highest order.