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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

13 year old babysitting sibling for an evening?

137 replies

confusedaboutages · 21/07/2020 18:37

AIBU to leave my 13 year old babysitting my 7 year old? I don't have anyone who can have them that night, so is a straight choice between yes or no.

I'll be 45 minutes away by car. I'm driving not drinking, so can leave immediately if there were any issue. There is a neighbour they could go to if there was a problem I couldn't deal with over the phone.

13 year is used to being home alone and has babysat during the daytime for the 7 year old many times before. 7 year old us nearly 8, if this makes a difference? They get on well, no fighting issues.

I'd be out from 7pm - 11:30pm at the very latest. I'd put the 7 year old to bed before I went out, leaving 13 year old to watch Netflix.

I think it would be fine, but I wanted to check opinions before committing myself.

AIBU to let the 13 year old babysit?

OP posts:
BrieAndChilli · 21/07/2020 20:00

@BendingSpoons

Interesting people's different views on this. When I was 13 and my sibling was 7, I was fine to babysit. We got on well and my sister would listen to me, it would be almost a treat to have me do bedtime. Plus the OP is doing bedtime before going out anyway.

To me it's madness that some people send 13/14 yos to a childminder unless they have SEN. Don't they hate it?

Well when I was 13 some cars didn’t have seatbelts in the back, we used to pile in the back of my uncles van, people used to smoke in pubs and restaurants, babies were put to sleep on thier front, etc etc.

Just because we did things when we were younger doesn’t make it right/safe/ok.

PablosHoney · 21/07/2020 20:02

Doesn’t make sending a 14 year old to a Childminder’s necessary either

Todaywewilldobetter · 21/07/2020 20:05

I would have said yes but the distance would bother me. If you were closer, no problem.

DreamingOfMrsG · 21/07/2020 20:06

It's interesting reading through the thread after my first knee jerk response to be fair

I used to babysit at 13 until 11pm or later at night for a toddler
I do leave my 13 year old in the house alone for a few hours sometimes

I think the main issue is the 45 min drive. I'm a single parent and I understand it's hard as hell sometimes and in certain situations

Sugartitties · 21/07/2020 20:06

i have two 13 year olds. one of them could take a primary school class out for the day not a bother and the other one can’t make a cup of tea. if they’re responsible and can contact you then go for it.

Divebar · 21/07/2020 20:06

It’s borderline - what was OK in the 90s is not considered ok now so all those people who babysat when they were 11 are irrelevant. If an emergency happened and authorities called you might have a referral made to SS. If the police were involved ( due to said emergency ) you could feasibly be arrested.🤷‍♀️ I wouldn’t ask anyone under 15/16 to babysit.

Spied · 21/07/2020 20:07

No.
I very much doubt any 7 yo would stay in bed for a start.
I'd not enjoy my evening. I'd be too worried.

PablosHoney · 21/07/2020 20:08

Arrested!!! For doing something that isn’t illegal??

SirSamuelVimesBlackboardMonito · 21/07/2020 20:11

It’s borderline - what was OK in the 90s is not considered ok now so all those people who babysat when they were 11 are irrelevant. If an emergency happened and authorities called you might have a referral made to SS. If the police were involved ( due to said emergency ) you could feasibly be arrested.🤷‍♀️ I wouldn’t ask anyone under 15/16 to babysit.

Bollocky bollocky bollocks!!

PablosHoney · 21/07/2020 20:13

Nuts isn’t it, social services have more pressing concerns and as for the police as if!

cuntryclub · 21/07/2020 20:13

It’s borderline - what was OK in the 90s is not considered ok now so all those people who babysat when they were 11 are irrelevant.

I agree with this. But this.....Shock

If an emergency happened and authorities called you might have a referral made to SS. If the police were involved ( due to said emergency ) you could feasibly be arrested.🤷‍♀️ I wouldn’t ask anyone under 15/16 to babysit

What a load of absolute shit. What on earth that would the charge be?

LadyPrigsbottom · 21/07/2020 20:15

I doubt arrested. I think it's that if you leave a child with someone who is under the age of 16, you are still legally responsible for the child even though you aren't there. So, I suppose it depends how comfortable with that you would be.

PablosHoney · 21/07/2020 20:17

Of course you are still legally responsible, and??

LadyPrigsbottom · 21/07/2020 20:19

And?? It depends how comfortable with that you would be. I mean, I just said it.

Yeesh, you're a bit antsy on this thread @PablosHoney!

Rwoolley · 21/07/2020 20:19

@BrieAndChilli

In response to OPs question my friend who is a social worker says if you are happy to leave them during the day then evening is now different. I do feel however that night time brings more risks - children especially the younger are tired and more likely to play up / get emotional / get scared. Power going out means having to use candles and candles - more risk. Kids more likely to panic and get scared in the dark than if the power went out in the day. Burglars more likely to try and get in a house in the dark

Mine are 13, 12 and 9 and I will leave them in the day but I am only 5/10 min away. Evenings I will leave briefly eg if I need to go pick one of them up from scouts or drama etc but not the youngest on his own.

"Burglars more likely to try and get in a house in the dark"

That's actually not true

The majority of burglaries in the UK happen between 10:00-15:00 as that's when it's most likely homeowners and or children won't be in.

userabcname · 21/07/2020 20:21

I think it's fine. I babysat my brother loads as a teen and he was a pre-schooler. Lots of my friends babysat from around 13. And this was the noughties, not the nineties. I don't think things have changed that much.

PablosHoney · 21/07/2020 20:21

I’m not antsy in the slightest 😂😂 just don’t get what you are implying by it?

LadyPrigsbottom · 21/07/2020 20:24

I'm not implying anything chuckles. I don't know what you're failing to understand? Someone said arrested. A couple of posters said no. I agreed and said what the law is. Is that ok with you? Or are only the people guffawing along with you allowed to post 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣🐴🐯🐂🦌🐱🐯🐄🦌🐴🦌🐆🐯🐂🐩

PablosHoney · 21/07/2020 20:25

‘Said what the law is’ 😂😂 Ok 👍

LadyPrigsbottom · 21/07/2020 20:25
Confused
Ontheboardwalk · 21/07/2020 20:27

@Ickabog

I too was babysitting for others at 14, but would have had far more difficulty with my own sibling.

I agree, it's very different.

Agree with both posters. Siblings with a parent at least 45 minutes away is completely different
oakleaffy · 21/07/2020 20:28

I babysat my younger brothers at 13, no problem... But only you know your children....So only you can decide.

oakleaffy · 21/07/2020 20:34

At 13 I was asked to look after my bros in daytime...We were playing ''showjumping'' in the garden, over bamboo canes, balanced on bricks.

My little bro dropped a housebrick on his bare toe.... the blood and screams were terrifying..His toe was 'mashed'.

I tried to stop it bleeding with a clean tea towel of linen.....

Parents took forever to get back, and they rushed bro straight to Casualty.
SS weren't involved, and bro still has the scars on his toe.

Accidents ''can'' happen.

oakleaffy · 21/07/2020 20:35

When I said ''no prob'' at 13, this was at night!..in the day it was different.

nestisflown · 21/07/2020 20:35

Yeh I would if I had a mature 13 year old. Sounds fine to me. As long as your 13 year old knows how to contact you and in an emergency can stay calm and call the emergency services. 13 year olds used to babysit other people’s children all the time when I was younger.

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