Sorry, this is a bit of a long one, so I thank you now if you make it to the end.
AIBU to ask what you wish you had been taught or learned, as you grew up, with regards to money, finances and how to earn it doing something you love?
It has been a tough couple of years. My Mum was home on palliative care at home for a year before she sadly passed away last year. A month after Mum was diagnosed my Dad was diagnosed with Dementia, and since Mum passed I have been caring for my Dad. The purpose of this post is not to give you a sop story but to give you a clue as to why I am thinking and asking about this subject.
The reason for this post is because it has been such a steep learning curve, over the past couple of years and has really got me thinking, worrying, researching………. Luckily my brother and I had the foresight to sort out Lasting Power of Attorneys just before all of this happened and since then we have been trying to sort out Mum and Dad’s finances. Luckily when Mum was sick her care was fully funded by Continuing Health Care, which is no mean feat because it was a constant battle to get the correct level of care and get the NHS to pay for it. However, it has been an eye-opener as to how much care costs. We are now having to plan any potential care costs that we may have to pay out for Dad. This has me worrying about how much I need to have put aside for any care I may need.
This has made me think about the whole area of money and life in general. Like I said Mum and Dad were not paid well and did jobs they didn’t enjoy very much. I was of that generation where following your dreams was never really talked about. I was expected to leave school, get a job and then all the things that come with that. I have had low paid jobs and high paid jobs and have hated every single one. I was well into adulthood before I learnt that you could do something you love and earn money from it.
I am asking because it is something that as you can read is on my mind a lot, I am thinking about the future for my Dad and myself. I don’t have children so I don’t have that added pressure. But I read too many Mumsnet posts that are an eye-opener and break my heart where women are left with the world on their shoulders. Ex partners that don’t pay or pay the minimum amount of maintenance, SHAMs who are unhappy in their relationships but feel forced to stay because they can’t afford to leave, women who take on jobs they hate because they need to work around school hours and child care, partners who are passing ships from long hours just to be able to pay the bills and at the extreme end the scary number of women who are in financially abusive relationships.
I think it has become more prevalent with lockdown which really seems to have widened the gap. I read somewhere it could take 40 years now to close the pay gap. It seems again women are bearing the brunt. Whilst men seemed to be able to return to work when requested, women are having to deal with limited or unavailable child care. During the lockdown, women seem to have taken on the bulk of homeschooling. Now its school holidays and some are finding that holiday clubs are not available. I know many women are worried about being made redundant, even fewer school hours and term time only jobs are available and we don’t know how this virus may still impact us. The list is endless.
Hindsight is a wonderful thing, but knowing what I know now and my own financial and job experience I have been asking myself what I wished I had been taught at school about finances, investing and also doing all this in a way that I would have loved. What I should have learnt in my 20s, 30s and taken action on? I think about niece now who will finish university soon I hope she is more financially savvy. This generation certainly has the resources available to learn but it is hard to think about being 60 when you are 20.
What do you wish you were taught about finances and money management and how you earn it as you grew up? Knowing what you know now what would you have done differently? Or has this pandemic, which changed our lives in such a dramatic way so quickly made you think differently?
I know this is not an AIBU in the strict sense but I think it is such an important topic I would be grateful to hear, as always from Mumsnet, your honest views. I may learn something that may set me on a new path and stop me panicking about old age and care costs.