Do many people think that ADHD is not real?

[Ilovecranberries]

Was having remote drinks with a friend and his wife yesterday. She's a secondary school teacher in a quite "rough" school (not in the UK). I was quite surprised when, discussing something quite abstract about how different people think and react differently, she had said quite breezily that the majority of teachers she knows "don't believe" in the existence of ADHD.
Incidentally, one of my children is currently being assessed for it, but it is not news that I had shared socially outside of my immediate family. I wasn't offended, but I wonder if it is actually a widespread view behind the closed doors?

@Pieceofpurplesky

I am a teacher and would have had to say something. Genuine ADHD cases are clear to see and I hope she doesn't have to deal them!

The one thing I would say is having taught in a rough school Some parents know how to play the system - which really annoys me as it detracts money and time from genuine need. As a teachers we should be able to tell the difference - however the paperwork to support an application today is worded differently

Totally agree, some parents do try to get a diagnosis to cover up their own inadequacies, as another poster said too. We had one very persistant parent who came in telling the Head exactly what to write, none of which was the school's experience but he became very angry and abusive. It's also amazing how many parents of Year 9/10 pupils who try to get a diagnosis for something, anything, that will give their child extra time in the public exams!

This thread is depressing but not surprising.

I have a child with ADD and slow processing (as most with ADD do) and it's so clear to me now that I also have it, and DH certainly has some traits.
My DD and I are both bright, both polite kind people. We are also a chaotic family. Disorganised, the house is a mess, we're late for things, we are an impulsive, loving, fun family. But it's HARD, we'd rather be organised. I've been on parenting courses, we've had assessments. The school has always been a bit.....smirky.

DD deserves extra time in tests, she deserves not to be viewed as coming from a chaotic family and therefore no wonder.

This book has helped us loads for anyone else with ADD in the family.

I find it really annoying when people use the term ADHD when describing certain behaviour in children, usually behaviour that is considered 'bad'. 'Oh that child must have ADHD. Look at the way he/she is running around, barging into people....' etc etc. This attitude completely ignores the complexity of ADHD, how many different ways it can manifest and how very subtle some of the symptoms can be, especially in girls.

I have a similar issue with overuse of the term OCD - people claiming they are 'totally OCD' about particular things. I had OCD as a teenager and it took over my whole life. It wasn't just arranging my books in alphabetical order or some other such drivel. It was incapacitating and extremely stressful. People bandying the term around like some sort of joke does a disservice to those who are truly suffering.

In the same way, ADHD has become a by-word for bad behaviour. It makes me so bloody angry. My DS is not badly behaved. He is polite, good-natured and self-aware. There is a boy in his class who also has ADHD and displays all the 'classic' symptoms - trying to escape from school, getting up and walking around the classroom, shouting out in class and so on. He is also a lovely boy. And he can't help his behaviour. He and my DS couldn't be more different in how their ADHD presents itself. DS just shows his restlessness, for example, in a less obvious and disruptive way. But it's still there.

Erm, many parents struggle to get a proper diagnosis for their children often being asked to jump through ridiculous hoops that lead to nothing, why is a parent having the ability to recognise symptoms and put it together a bad thing? especially if people in those professions are clearly in no rush to do their part.

Part of the issue that some schools have is that (some) children - with parents who understand how the system works and are insistent that their child be labelled so they are ‘entitled’ to extra support -are more likely to get a diagnosis than those who might need it. We have had several parents in the last few years who have obtained diagnoses from private ed psychs, when LA/NHS assessments haven’t found evidence of neurological disorders in their children.

Often, those children who need the support and a firm diagnosis come from families who wouldn’t think of coming forward to ask for help.

We are often short of manpower to help the latter, due in part to the former.

We have had several parents in the last few years who have obtained diagnoses from private ed psychs, when LA/NHS assessments haven’t found evidence of neurological disorders in their children.
I was actually advised to go private with the ed psych part and wait for the NHS for the clinical psychologist. Because waiting lists for the ed.psych. here are around three - four years.

@PutYourBackIntoit were you going to link to a book? I'd be interested in that.

I've encountered an LA EP who is terribly biased and outright obstructive with SEN support.
And the first NHS community paediatrician we saw told me DS1 couldn't be autistic because he waved when I prompted him to.
I've got evidence of school staff lying to the LA on issues.

It exists, and I now really feel for any students who have ADHD who are taught by teachers like that.

Kind of people who think those with depression and/or anxiety need to just 'snap out of it'.

Kind of reminds me of people

@thunderthighsohwoe

We have had several parents in the last few years who have obtained diagnoses from private ed psychs, when LA/NHS assessments haven’t found evidence of neurological disorders in their children.

So you're saying they went through the whole assessment process with NHS and they were told their child does not have ADHD and they just went and "bought" one privately?

@Goingdownto

Sorry, I got distracted 😂

I'd recommend whether your child is keeping up academically or not, it's massively helped DH and I get on the same page. It covers 3 main points: Accept, Adapt, Advocate

I'll always remember the shittiest most enraging report ever.

10 pages describing the difficulties the child presents , as witnessed by school,pages and the professionals doing the assessment . It all ended with a lot of twaddle and "x is being discharged and no further action needed".

Or just as bad, my friend's DD who just gets told to come back in 2 years since she has been 4. She's 10 now nearly 11. It was only this year that she was diagnosed with dyslexia so I suppose that's progress. For years her mum has been told it's her parenting, she's hormonal,she's irrational, she's overprotective, she's not doing enough. For years the school promised interventions and support that never happened.

Thanks putyourbackintoit

So you're saying they went through the whole assessment process with NHS and they were told their child does not have ADHD and they just went and "bought" one privately?

Having received a diagnosis both via the NHS and privately I can assure you that you can't just 'buy' one. The amount of hoops that you need to jump through in both arenas is massive. It's a hard process that takes lots of time, and input from different stakeholders. Private consultation are also eye-wateringly expensive and there are significant waiting lists to see private specialists too. To suggest that parents can just click their fingers and get a diagnosis as if it were nothing is just wrong. Remember that parents that are seeking help privately are normally absolutely desperate because they can see that their child is struggling and needs help. They are normally on an NHS waiting list but know that help and support is years away. To suggest that parents are seeking an ADHD diagnosis, with all of the stigma that comes with it just in order to gain a few more minutes in an exam feels like a bit of a stretch.

thunderthighsohwoe - really the system is supposed to be needs led, not diagnosis led and having a diagnosis of something shouldnt really do more than evidence the needs more clearly as part of the diagnosis so they can be supported. We have children on SEN support without a diagnosis recieving more support than some who have a diagnosis and an ehcp because they need more support. There is a shortage of EP, OT and SaLTs able to make assessments but 'going private' may not impact on that. If the LA only uses its one biased EP - going to see a different one wont nake the queue longer.
I appreciate the reality is a diagnosis does change attitudes but it shouldnt be like that.

Having received a diagnosis both via the NHS and privately I can assure you that you can't just 'buy' one.

Oh I know that. And I also have a feeling that the parents that went private weren't actually told "x doesn't have y" by the NHS , but rather went private due to waiting times and the obstructions that are often encountered on the path of an NHS diagnosis. That's why I worded my question that way. But I'm willing to be proven wrong when/if PP replies.

Some people do 'buy' a diagnosis. But it's very, very rare and very expensive.

EricLove123 but what do they do with it? Like whats the point of paying for a diagnosis of a condition you dont have.

My son very clearly is. We didn’t initially know what we were dealing with, but as he’s got older it’s become more apparent. Paediatrician is convinced he has adhd but with lockdown a diagnoses is miles away we’ve already waited a year I think school think I’m a shit mum & I’ve done parenting classes etc engaged with everyone I’ve been asked to but there’s little understanding or support for him and he’s struggling. Even his own dad who is police scoffed and said thats an excuse for bad boys ffs so sad it’s so misunderstood.

Depends on the age.

Accessing stimulant medication, getting an EHCP (which should be based on need and a diagnosis or not irrelevant, but some schools can be obstructive). Accessing adjustments at work/Uni or going through disciplinary stuff at work/Uni. Sometimes because of criminal activity and a diagnosis is valuable for a pre-sentence report.

One case I knew was an abusive family where the young person was scapegoated.

One case of induced/fabricated symptoms with a legal battle against the NHS.

Very, very rare but does happen.