Do many people think that ADHD is not real?

[Ilovecranberries]

Was having remote drinks with a friend and his wife yesterday. She's a secondary school teacher in a quite "rough" school (not in the UK). I was quite surprised when, discussing something quite abstract about how different people think and react differently, she had said quite breezily that the majority of teachers she knows "don't believe" in the existence of ADHD.
Incidentally, one of my children is currently being assessed for it, but it is not news that I had shared socially outside of my immediate family. I wasn't offended, but I wonder if it is actually a widespread view behind the closed doors?

I think its worth understanding in the UK ADHD is under diagnosed and in America its over diagnosed, so a lot of the dismissive responses are just not accurate at all.

I feel very mixed about this
My experiences are over 40 years working within Education and Social care
IMO it's a real condition but actually quite rare.
I've only see it on its own without associated ASD a handful of times in 40 years.
Around 20 years ago numerous children were being diagnosed incorrectly when they were actually attachment disordered ( RAD) which most definitely exists but is always as a result of early parenting or childhood traumas, hence parents never wanting that diagnosis and fighting to get the ADHD diagnosis instead.
Now 20 years on its much more uncommon for CAMHS to make an ADHD diagnosis and much more common to have an ASD diagnosis.
There will always be inadequate parents but there will also always be these conditions. I think it solely depends on what era a child is born into as to what his diagnosis will be

ASD and ADHD is not caused by childhood trauma or ipads 🙄, it is a neurological difference! not MH condition.

@juneisbustingout eh?

I was born in a perfectly normal, not neglectful home. As was my DS.

It can be co-morbid with ASD as posters above have mentioned but not always.

Neglect or chaotic upbringing can cause similar symptoms/behaviour I believe. ADHD however is a neurological condition, an actual difference in the brain.

It can't be diagnosed by a brain scan, but differences in activity in certain areas of the brains of people with ADHD has been clearly shown.

Believe me I don't really want to have to take medication to function better as a parent, spouse, friend and employee, but I will if I have to.

It's crap forgetting stuff all the time and letting people down or just looking stupid, slow or lazy.

Pass
Of course
However many children were actually RAD and wrongly diagnosed with ADHD. I've never met a biological parent who would accept a RAD diagnosis instead pushing for ADHD

I have found this thread fascinating & depressing.

As a parent of a child with ADHD just about to start with meds could anyone Recommend any good online forums for me to go on? I often find with MN lots of ADHD threads are ruined by the non-believers putting in their 2pennys worth of “just change your parenting style/give them a good smack and they will be cured” etc it’s hard to find people with actual experience & knowledge of either parenting or living with it.

Thanks for sharing your experiences

@Galvantula

I totally relate to the underachieving aspect. I was often faced by frustrated teachers telling me they knew I had more to give, but I was too lazy. 'That should've been an A' will be inscribed on my gravestone! I thought I was lazy too, but in all honesty I was often bored and when I was bored, I tuned out. I can see DS doing this all the time.

Girls are often overlooked when it comes to ADHD, even though it's an equal opportunities condition and I think this adds to the erroneous image of the boisterous boy whose parents aren't good enough at controlling him. DP's much younger brother was diagnosed back in the early 1990s when ADHD became much more publicised as a condition and was suddenly being picked up more. I have to admit to rolling my eyes because he was a right pain in the arse, always getting into trouble, defiant, risk taking, bunking off school. And his parents were pretty awful, as DP will confirm. So I was sceptical about the diagnosis and thought he just needed a firmer hand, but that was ignorance and I have since learned a lot about ADHD. I'm pretty sure their dad has it - DP and at least one of his sisters show multiple signs too. Younger children in the family have been formally diagnosed. It's a big family!

@janeisbustingout I think you need to start applying some basic logic to this. If a child has ADHD and is rushing around, hard work etc then the parents are stressed and less able to provide the loving good parenting they should.

Also one of those parents will also have ADHD and be highly triggered by what they are seeing in their child. They will have had their own troubled childhood of rejection from everyone and judgement and conflict with parents and won't want that repeating.

So the attachment will be less strong and that is caused by untreated ADHD. Not vice versa. The child has a lifetime of being told they are wrong and judged and almost everyone who has ADHD has rejection sensitivity dysphoria which greatly affects emotional regulation.

The parents you are seeing also have untreated adhd which is presenting to you as an inability to control their emotions and not following your rules, setting up structure etc. So you blame the lack of rules and structure. And you judge them and set impossible tasks for them.

The non ADHD parent doesn't really care about rules and structure - if they did they would be less likely to choose an ADHD partner.

People thinking like you do is part of the problem. You have taken the 'information' you have and reached the wrong conclusions. This is what I meant before when I said people having just enough information to be dangerous.

You aren't familiar enough with this to even know about RSD. Or the genetics. To know if there's an ADHD kid there's an ADHD parent. So you think you know.. but you don't.

It's crap forgetting stuff all the time and letting people down or just looking stupid, slow or lazy.

Oh my goodness, this resonates with me to the point I want to cry! I always just feel as though I'm not 'doing life' as well as I should.

Reading all these posts makes me feel I should pursue a diagnosis for myself. But I think I'll wait until the process is over for DS.

Very interesting responses and yes I agree many do not understand this is as a real difference in the chemical makeup of the brain which can create in the wrong environment the wrong behaviour.
Although there are subtypes some children are inattentive often labelled lazy. Some are hyperactive often labelled naughty as they struggle to focus and sit still. Some are all of the above. Often Adhd is co morbid with ASC but not always fits the diagnostic criteria until medicated then AS can become more pronounced.
It is a life long difference but many many adults are highly successful if they find their passion and can channel their energy.
The treatment plan and medication is variable and it is impossible to say if stimulants work for everyone.
Finally diagnosis is far from easy and lack of boundaries or poor parenting might be a symptom but not the cause.

@Vodkacranberryplease

Very well said. Where there's a child with ADHD, there's more often than not a parent (or even two) with undiagnosed ADHD who doesn't have the tools to cope. They are overwhelmed because that is their own default position too.

All the discipline in the world will not 'cure' ADHD. Nor will love and care. Structure can help to manage it. But try getting a parent with their own ADHD to embrace the concept of structure!

Someone on this very forum, told the mother of an ASD child, that they were sure that mum could control his behaviour if they tried. So yes, I believe a lot of people think it's made up. I have an HFA (high functioning autism, I don't like using Aspergers) teenage son & people have no idea of the amount of work involved or how different our 'normal' is. It's like a suped of version of the refusal to acknowledge how hard parenting is in general. Giving that acknowledgement would mean having to value the work that we do.... & 'hard work' it certainly is.

I am really surprised at the content of this thread. I have two ADHD children. One also has High Functioning Autism (formerly known as Aspergers). I talk quite openly about both of them and to both of them about their challenges, how I can help them, and how they can help themselves, etc. This includes medication. Incidentally, not all ADHD medications are stimulants. But the stimulants (methylphenidate, lisdexamphetamine) are known to be more powerful. We tried one of the others and it made my son feel nauseous every day and didn't really work. So we went back to the stimulant.

I am shocked by the number of teachers who have come on here with their views of particular cases. In my experience, teachers and Sencos are not experts in ASD, ADHD, or a variety of other conditions/disorders. I feel that these diagnoses need to be made by a medical doctor (e.g. psychiatrist not psychologist).

I've never had anyone tell me they thought ADHD didn't exist. I have had people tell me that they think my child doesn't have it. And I have had people express their disapproval of my putting my six year on Ritalin/Concerta. These comments are always made by people who don't know anything about ADHD or the medication. Pure judgemental nastiness born of audacious ignorance.

Well the teacher friend is in complete opposition to the psychologists who write about it and diagnose it. I think some parents do use it as an excuse for poor parenting, but I know from personal experience how difficult it is to have a genuine adhd kid

Vodka
What huge assumptions you make about me.
I have written both fact and opinion
It is fact that many people who would now be in their early 30's were wrongły diagnosed with ADHD and later diagnosed with RAD. I'm assuming those people will now have produced children of their own
It is my opinion that ADHD does exist but is often incorrectly diagnosed
It is my opinion that it rarely exists without ASD.
This is a public forum and hence I am allowed my opinion

@puzzledpiece

I am interested to know who uses ADHD as an excuse for poor parenting. Do you mean parents of children who have been diagnosed? In which case their apparently flawed parenting is irrelevant to the diagnosis. Or do you mean parents who claim their children must have ADHD because they are so badly behaved? That would just be ignorance.

@juneisbustingout Of course you can have your opinions. You're wrong though.

I am shocked at the number of intelligent people that I meet in all walks of life, including here on this thread that have the view that ADHD does not 'exist' and debate whether they 'believe' in it. We are not talking about Father Christmas or the tooth fairy here, we are talking about something that has been acknowledged by the wider medical community for decades with countless peer reviewed medical studies. It shocks and amuses me in equal measure that people genuinely believe that they actually know better than countless professionals, in numerous countries, across different continents. It's attitudes like this that are the real barrier to the kids and adults that have to deal with this condition every day.

@MellowBird85

I think the problem is it’s overused, particularly on children that come from chaotic households. So children who may not have been taught appropriate behaviour (boundaries, social skills, impulse control) are then labelled as such by their parents who can’t accept that it is their parenting that is the issue.

^ This exactly. Yes it exists but I do believe some parents label their child without even taking them for a formal diagnosis - just to explain away their lack of parenting.

Eric
Are you 12?

@juneisbustingout are you 12? Or is that just when you stopped education.

Yes it exists but I do believe some parents label their child without even taking them for a formal diagnosis - just to explain away their lack of parenting.

I can't see why any parent would claim that their child has any condition without it being formally diagnosed. Given the horrible stigma that still surrounds ADHD and the other co-morbid conditions that run with it I would be surprised that there are many parents that actually do this.

I am shocked by the number of teachers who have come on here with their views of particular cases. In my experience, teachers and Sencos are not experts in ASD, ADHD, or a variety of other conditions/disorders

Well said! We had numerous teachers telling us our DS had ADHD, because they could not control his behaviour in the classroom.

It's only because we as parents didn't struggle with him other than the normal very lively boy stuff. He wants to be outside and run around, build & destroy and we cater for that.

ADHD was first recognised as a condition in 1902 (by a Dr Still, funnily enough) so it’s not exactly a new “trend” like some suggest.

The leader of a course CAMHs sent us on after DS’s diagnosis talked about how historically it was probably seen as a positive trait, and fearless individuals with boundless energy were useful for hunting, exploring and fighting. It’s only now we’ve evolved into such a sedentary, risk averse, conformist society that such people are considered a pain in the arse.

@juneisbustingout

Nope. 40 and spent 10 years diagnosing ADHD and being involved in a lot of research. That's how I know you're wrong that it's rare and wrong that it's rarely seen unless co-morbidly with ASC.

Though to be fair, you don't need my knowledge or experience to know that, you could just spend a second Googling..