Do many people think that ADHD is not real?

[Ilovecranberries]

Was having remote drinks with a friend and his wife yesterday. She's a secondary school teacher in a quite "rough" school (not in the UK). I was quite surprised when, discussing something quite abstract about how different people think and react differently, she had said quite breezily that the majority of teachers she knows "don't believe" in the existence of ADHD.
Incidentally, one of my children is currently being assessed for it, but it is not news that I had shared socially outside of my immediate family. I wasn't offended, but I wonder if it is actually a widespread view behind the closed doors?

[quote Mincingfuckdragon]@MrsJuliaGulia

Bad behaviour is not the same thing as ADHD. Plenty of children with ADHD are well behaved in most respects - they say please and thank you, have nice table manners, let others go through doors first, help others who need it and the like.

But they can't sit still for long. And are easily distracted. And cannot concentrate on schoolwork.

Your comment is ill informed.[/quote]
I don't dispute a lot of this, but common struggles with ADHD including impulsivity and poor emotional regulation can often appear to onlookers to be "bad behaviour"

A child having a tantrum when demanding a toy could be spoilt, or impulsive, seeking dopamine, or hyperfixating etc.

It's unfair to remove the negative behaviours ADHD can cause and separate them from the hyperactivity.

My son has ADHD, tries hard, behaves well. And still struggles in situations he's not emotionally equipped to deal with maturely.

www.additudemag.com/is-adhd-hereditary-yes-and-no/

@AntiSocialDistancer

Agreed, and apologies. I was not meaning to discount the effect ADHD can have - I have a 7 year old with impulsive/inattentive ADHD and she can get quite emotional over seemingly small things so your comment resonates.

I was trying to point out to the pp one way in which her comment was ill informed and in doing so have seemed dismissive of this issue. It was not intentional - thank you for raising this.

@MrsJuliaGulia the fuck has bad behaviour got to do with the thread? It's about adhd, not being an arse so not a topic you are equipped to comment on. Presumably in your day 1923 being an arse was tolerated.
I don't believe in being a cunt, but clearly that doesn't mean cunts don't exist. And I've never called anyone a cunt because I have adhd, when I call someone a cunt it's because they are one.

I totally agree I just hear a few people (not you!) saying "ADHD doesnt have to mean bad behaviour" and that grates slightly. A teacher friend said it once!

I just wanted to explain how sometimes it can appear in a way that isn't just hyperactive or distracted. It all goes to spread awareness, and your comment was just the one that caught my eye.

It saddens me that ADHD is still so misunderstood by some - there seems to be a lot of posts that have been deleted here.
Thankfully there are lots of good advocates here too!

@bookmum08

A lot of the ADHD = naughty can often be just because we (society) are deciding what is naughty or not. School is such a lot of 'sit down, listen to the teacher and get on silently with some written work'. Children with ADHD often just don't learn and behave that way. They need to be 'doing'. Uniform rules and making sure you have your equipment and bringing in homework etc are also often hard for those with ADHD to deal with. As a result they are labelled 'naughty'. ADHD is very real but I believe a lot of the struggles that so many children and their families go through is that the school/exam system is set up just for one way of learning (academic focus) and for many children who have ADHD it just doesn't work for them. Changes to the school system wouldn't mean ADHD would go away it would mean that so many children wouldn't be labelled 'naughty' it would just be that ADHD is the way they are.

Another great post 👍🏼

Mommabear20, genuine question, have you ever met a child medically diagnosed with ADHD, that doesn't have it?

im sure its real , but i dont believe its as genuinely common as it is now . i cant help but wonder why back in the say 1940s and 50s there werent loads of kids suffering from it

There were.

The problem is - that ADHD and inadequate parenting are NOT mutually exclusive !

I say this as someone diagnosed with ADD (no hyperactivity) in my 40s at the Maudsley in London - a place long associated with a high standard of psychiatric diagnosis..

I was lucky in that I had extremely adequate parenting - and yet despite a ridiculously high IQ failed to 'achieve' as I should have. Only since the diagnosis and now in my late 50s will I actually achieve the degree I should have had at 21... far too late to have the career and earning potential I could have had if the support I get from the Open University, had been a available to me as a young adult ..

To give you an idea...
at 16 I got 5 O'levels (all A's because I was 'interested' ..
I dropped out of A levels because there was no support .

At 58 I achieved a first class degree in law.. baring in kind that the brain decrees after 18.. but I could NEVER have done it without additional support ...

BUT put ADD/ADHD together with uneducated / uninterested parents and the future is fucking awful...

I'm not racist but

I believe ADHD is real but

So depressing.

Many teachers don't understand how well kids mask their issues at school. Girls are especially good at this.

They see kids being angels at school and then hear from mum how the kid is at home and assume they're either fabricating it, or it's bad parenting.

These kids burn out at some point which is when they may, if they win the CAMHS lottery, achieve a diagnosis. Often only to still have teachers commenting "but they're fine in school"

@MrsZola No it isn't. I'm autistic, DH and DS2 have ADHD. www.understood.org/articles/en/ive-heard-that-autism-and-adhd-are-related-is-that-true

I wonder if those saying it's over diagnosed have actually experienced trying to get an assessment for a child?

@Cacacoisfarraige I considered refraining, but ime with the stupid one needs to be direct, their inferior little minds aren't open to intelligent discussion and it isn't very sporting to have a battle of wits when only one side is armed.

@chaosrabbitland I strongly suspect my father had adhd, but it just wasn't recognised back then, not that it didn't exist. However the more vigorous routine of a public school and rural home back then would have made it a lot easier to slip under the radar even if the condition had been in the public domain.
People did 'suffer' from it, in the same way they had dyslexia, autism, mental health problems, learning disabilities, physical disabilities etc. But back in the good old days you either sank or swam.

@BertieBotts is spot on.

Often parents get sent on parenting courses whilst waiting for diagnosis, when the strategies used in these are completely in appropriate for children with ADHD etc.

I think for those thinking children are over diagnosed with ADHD to think about the medication/Speed/amphetamines used to treat it.

Used on a non ADHD child it would have adverse effects. As someone I heard described it as being off their tits

Used on an ADHD child and there really isn’t any effects. It just makes them function.

@bananaskinsnomnom

I fully believe ADHD exists, I have seen many proven cases myself in my career. I have seen children flourish with the appropriate therapy, support and plans in place.

The problem is I’ve also seen it as an excuse for bad behaviour. Child doesn’t do as they’re told, parents jump and say it “must be ADHD”. But ADHD isn’t about bad behaviour.

It’s sadly become a condition that parents try and get diagnosed as a way to “pass the buck” when their child needs nothing more than discipline.

It also gets a bad rap when, in genuine cases, everything a child does is brushed off as “that’s the ADHD” - when again, a child with ADHD can and should still respond to discipline.

(By discipline btw I don’t mean harsh punishments I’m using it as a general term and just giving children practical and sensible boundaries and understanding consequences)

When I try and tell DS2 to stop shouting when he's angry, he says "Shush Mummy, you're making me more stressed."