Do many people think that ADHD is not real?

[Ilovecranberries]

Was having remote drinks with a friend and his wife yesterday. She's a secondary school teacher in a quite "rough" school (not in the UK). I was quite surprised when, discussing something quite abstract about how different people think and react differently, she had said quite breezily that the majority of teachers she knows "don't believe" in the existence of ADHD.
Incidentally, one of my children is currently being assessed for it, but it is not news that I had shared socially outside of my immediate family. I wasn't offended, but I wonder if it is actually a widespread view behind the closed doors?

@Vodkacranberryplease

You've just copied and pasted the same thing twice, not sure if you've bothered to read my response.

Either way, it is relevant.

OP asked why some people might think it isn't real, and one reason may be because they've experienced a parent before who has labelled their child with no support, medical, or evidence, possibly wrongly.

You're clearly very emotionally invested in the subject, which as great as it means you can really educate others and inform them, but it also means you're struggling to see another perfectly acceptable view

There are people that lie about cancer. If you check out the MIL /toxic parent thread you might think that's quite a prevalent thread.

Do you go around telling people with cancer/suspected cancer that "well I know cancer is real, but some people don't believe in it because a minority of people lie?"

If it's such a small number, why does it even matter? Why mention it all? Even more importantly, why use it as an excuse for ignorance and prejudice?

*trend not thread

@Vodkacranberryplease

As an example...

I had severe HG when I was pregnant, nearly died. I also spoke to women who said they had HG with no medical diagnosis/no medical opinion etc and they quite clearly didn't have HG. As a result, some people don't believe something like HG is real because they've been exposed to the 'wrong side'

I work in an industry and area where ADHD diagnoses are highly-sought by adults looking for stimulant prescriptions to be able to more effectively (at least, they think so) do their high-pressure, long-hours jobs.

I think a higher-than-normal number of people in this area also disbelieve any ADHD diagnosis, because they've seen so many people use extremely vague symptoms and engage in what could only be described as drug-seeking behavior for maximum medication doses.

In a lot of workplaces, these drugs are the new cocaine, at least in the US.

@ComeOnBabyPopMyBubble

No, you don't go around saying that, but if someone asks for reasons why others may not think ADHD is real, then surely you provide a reason, even if that reason only accounts for 0.1% of all thinking? It's still a reason, albeit a small one

As a result, some people don't believe something like HG is real because they've been exposed to the 'wrong side'

And those people are stupid and/or ignorant and there's no excuse for it given the access to information,studies and even free online courses (particularly at the moment).

@ComeOnBabyPopMyBubble

I totally agree.

OP never asks why such views occur, just whether they do and how prevalent they are.

So you're reinforcing a fairly damaging narrative/view to answer a question that doesn't exist.

@Vodkacranberryplease

Unless you have it, or your child has it or you treat it you do NOT have an informed opinion. So please spare us your 'wisdom'. It's not showing your cognitive abilities in a good light. Do your research and be informed instead of foisting your prejudices on people who have had more than enough of that kind of thing.

If you arent bright enough to grasp the complexities that's fine - just don't think that you are right.

My thoughts exactly. Please stop with the prejudice and ignorance. Our lives are hard enough as it is!

@ComeOnBabyPopMyBubble

Should I have just answered "Yes" to the OP then because the views do occur?

Probably better if I explained my answer, which I did

@minimum97 I cried reading your post. I have adhd and was diagnosed as an adult. I could have written your description word for word. Thank you - you've made feel a little less alone. The word finding thing - yes! My dh has learned to understand what I mean when I say the wrong or muddled word but I have always felt so stupid about this. Matching names and faces is also really really hard.
I have no concept of what day it is or time at all and have constant running alarms to remind me of what time I have to pick up from school and appointments.
The beginning of lockdown was a relief for me because I didn't have to do the school run and remember which child finished when (I have a child in a special needs school and others in a regular school and there were multiple finishing times on different days). I regularly got it wrong.
So much energy all the time on trying to find ways that work for me to do things that other people seem to do so effortlessly. And then when I inevitably mess up I feel like a failure.
I'm not on meds right now because I am breastfeeding and it's a constant struggle.
Being on them calms my brain down enough for me to take in what's going in around me and slow down and concentrate a little bit better.

@2155User I've been exposed to very few paraplegics, hence why I wouldn't jump in and share my uninformed experience on the subject. I wouldn't be coming out with shite such as 'I'm sure some are genuine but most are just lazy' 'it's just bad parenting' 'it didn't exist in my day' 'it's over diagnosed' 'I once saw a programme on tv with a fake disability claim so paraplegics are mainly making excuses' And if I did come out with any of that shite I certainly wouldn't expect anyone to excuse it as understandable because I've not been exposed enough. But when it's adhd it's perfectly acceptable to share your fuckwittery.

[quote Elladisenchanted]@minimum97 I cried reading your post. I have adhd and was diagnosed as an adult. I could have written your description word for word. Thank you - you've made feel a little less alone. The word finding thing - yes! My dh has learned to understand what I mean when I say the wrong or muddled word but I have always felt so stupid about this. Matching names and faces is also really really hard.
I have no concept of what day it is or time at all and have constant running alarms to remind me of what time I have to pick up from school and appointments.
The beginning of lockdown was a relief for me because I didn't have to do the school run and remember which child finished when (I have a child in a special needs school and others in a regular school and there were multiple finishing times on different days). I regularly got it wrong.
So much energy all the time on trying to find ways that work for me to do things that other people seem to do so effortlessly. And then when I inevitably mess up I feel like a failure.
I'm not on meds right now because I am breastfeeding and it's a constant struggle.
Being on them calms my brain down enough for me to take in what's going in around me and slow down and concentrate a little bit better.[/quote]
Thank you for your post, that's lovely. You are not alone!!

I'm sorry to hear you are finding things so hard.

I am not on meds yet either. I also have physical health issues and my thyroid is currently overactive so no meds for me!

Yes my husband took a long time to get used to it!! He used to get quite cross when I peppered a whole sentence with "thingys". He now just seeks clarification or helps me find the word. (Interestingly my ASC/ADHD son usually just knows what I mean even when there have actually been few normal words in the sentence!). About 60 times I say I think I say "what word am I thinking of" and he has to read my mind. I didn't realise I actually got words wrong until a few months ago. I saw a post on another ADHD forum asking whether people got words wrong and I said that I didn't! A few days later I called a fence a door (if I recall rightly) and noticed o did in. Asked my husband if I Ed done that before and he said yes all the time, you are always getting words wrong!

My worst symptoms are poor concentration, distraction and procrastination. If meds help with those my life will be transformed! Fingers crossed I can start trying them soon.

@minimum97 we laugh about the word thing because I can make some very odd sentences by accident!The conversation topic jumping when we were first married used to surprise him a lot
I rearrange the furniture randomly and get mad ideas and just go for it, sometimes things work brilliantly and sometimes they don't. So many great ideas that never get fulfilled and plans that I just don't follow through. Like I think this week I'm going to do a meal plan, or manage to remember to do a laundry load a day or whatever is the latest idea I have to try to manage life.
Sometimes having adhd feels like an asset, but mostly it's just so debilitating.

How have you found lockdown? I've found some parts so much easier (no appointments no schedule no deadlines) that at the beginning my anxiety levels dropped massively for the first time in years. And then the repetitiveness of every day with no change became incredibly hard.

Pre-baby I found concerta seemed to help with the hyperactivity but not focus and lisdexamphetamine improved my focus but not hyperactivity. Or maybe it was the other way round. I ended up taking the one that helped more with my focus. My hyperactivity I can handle but the lack of focus and concentration makes me so anxious. It's that constant feeling of I'm missing something or I've forgotten something... and usually I have!

Hopefully you can try meds soon

Can I ask what adhd forum you are on?

Op in response to your question - I'm pretty open about having adhd. There have been a few people who were
disbelieving and one elderly relative who said 'but how come it wasn't around in my day'. I think mainly though that was due to their perception of adhd as the stereotypically wild boy who can't sit still. They have been open to discussion though.
I think understanding of ADHD is hampered by the stereotyping of the condition in a similar way to how Rain Man affected how people saw and understood asd. If you don't fit the Rain Man image then you couldn't possibly have asd etc and so people will say you don't fit the stereotype I have in my head so it can't be adhd and must be x y or z It's a lack of knowledge and a proliferation of misinformation about adhd that leads to these sorts of views.

@Vodkacranberryplease

And for an adult it's easier to buy a house than get a diagnosis you go private. Around £500. Then £100 for meds per month. About £150-300 per month for the psych. Who then eventually might only need to see you every 6 months once he (it's always a he) has worked out you are not going to shove what is literally the worst drug ever your precious meds up your nose.

Jesus. If I wanted to buy drugs a) I wouldn't be buying fucking speed and b) I wouldn't be spending that kind of money on it.

No one does this for fun. No one wants to have this and what makes it so, so much worse is the utter fuckwittery of 99.9% of people when attempting any kind of discussion about it.

This 100%. I went private too as I am at uni and needed the help. It’s bloody expensive.

@MiniMum97omg I’m always getting words wrong too! I’ve found my people lol.

Oh and it’s 1:30am and a perfect example of an ADHD sleep issue here. Can’t switch off lol.

As an aside it’s also named wrong. It’s not a deficit of attention, it’s too much due to hyper focusing. Or it should be executive function disorder. But not attention deficit.

MrsZola

Where is adhd discussed as being part of autism? Genuine question I'd like to do th research

@thenshewasgone No, you are quite mistaken.

@MiniMum97

There is also massive issue with under diagnosis. Especially with inattentive ADHD. I have recently been diagnosed with this in my 40s. I was just thought of as lazy and disorganised at school.

I also haven't really told anyone yet about my diagnosis. I think ADHD is massively misunderstood and also carries quite a stigma.

I think many of my friends would say "oh but I do that..." and I haven't told work yet but am going to have to as my symptoms are worsening and I have been making mistakes.

I usually tell people who say that to me. Diagnosed with ADHD at 48."Do these same things that you do affect your quality of life? Do you require daily medication? Therapies? Support? Is your house covered with charts, calendars etc?" Are you able to regulate your emotion? Are you disorganised? I could go on but you get the point.

Yes but for people saying it can be misdiagnosed... is this in reference to parents doing the diagnosis or an actual proper full diagnosis?

I have a child an autistic child with adhd and I’ve had a few people mention their child is Adhd or autistic too and when I ask it turns out there’s not diagnosis the parent has just decided themselves they must have it as they have lots of meltdowns.

Could this be why we hear it more and more?

But it is regularly misdiagnosed? And clearly over diagnosed in a distinct groups. There are multiple studies that prove this beyond a doubt?
Im very surprised at all the knowledgeable people in here who don’t know about it - the finding are pretty well known I thought?
For those who don’t a quick google will give you a list of the studies but in summary, a study was done on children diagnosed (not parents who think their children have adhd) but on children who had actual diagnosis and it found the following ......in some states in America, there is anything between a 30% to 50% higher incidence of diagnosis of adhd of children who had August birthdays in states that had 1st September as the first day of the school year. And in states that don’t have this date, this August ‘spike’ disappears but reappears in which ever month was before the school year start date. This study has been repeated all over the world and, in predominantly white ethnicity, high socioeconomic countries, the exact same pattern is found. Anything between a 30 -50% higher incidence in the children diagnosed with adhd born in the month before the country’s school year starts. So something is clearly going wrong with diagnosis and that’s a lot of children on medication that they shouldn’t be on which is a concern, is it not?

Is it true that ADHD diagnoses are over represented amongst boys from low socioeconomic backgrounds? I remember hearing or reading that years ago but not sure whether it is accepted.

My12yo son had just begun the ADHD assessment process before lockdown and this has now been delayed. He is a very compliant and biddable child, so fell through the cracks for many years as he did not display the more headline grabbing symptom of being very obviously disruptive. This idea of the 'bad' child is so unhelpful and has caused so many misconceptions about ADHD.

DS constantly fidgets in class, tips his chair back, sings and hums without realising and is genuinely apologetic when it's pointed out to him - then he continues where he left off, without registering that he's doing it again. He HAS to doodle or fidget in order to focus. He says himself that his brain shuts down if he has to concentrate on not moving. He tips all his pencils and pens on the desk to look for the one he needs, then sets his sheet of paper on top of them and tries to write like that. It genuinely doesn't occur to him that all those pencils and pens would be better off staying in his pencil case. Anyway, the list goes on. A general lack of focus peppered with amazing bouts of laser sharp attention to detail. Untidiness. Forgetfulness. I honestly worry that he will wander into busy traffic getting to and from high school.

And all of this we thought he had inherited from DP (who is undiagnosed himself, but has diagnosed family members) - they are like clones. But the interesting thing is that I did a FutureLearn course about ADHD and a woman who was diagnosed as an adult mentioned in her video that anxiety was one of her symptoms. I suffer very badly from anxiety and started doing some reading very specifically about women and girls with ADHD, never really thinking it would throw up anything relevant to me. And yet there I was. In almost every descriptor. Hundreds of things began to make sense. My supposed laziness. The way I often have to read the same page 2 or 3 times because my internal monologue is chattering away. The hundreds, nay thousands, of attempts to organise my life, just to try and do the stuff other people seem to do as second nature. Being 'away with the fairies' at school. Leaving everything to the last minute/procrastinating. An almost constant churning in my stomach that I have forgotten something vitally important.

Of course, diagnosing myself off the internet and from books is not the same as going through the proper process. And I could be wrong. But it would explain a lot, including why I'm about as much use as a chocolate fire guard when it comes to helping DS manage his condition. In saying that, he isn't yet diagnosed, but I believe firmly that he will be when appointments are up and running again.