Do many people think that ADHD is not real?

[Ilovecranberries]

Was having remote drinks with a friend and his wife yesterday. She's a secondary school teacher in a quite "rough" school (not in the UK). I was quite surprised when, discussing something quite abstract about how different people think and react differently, she had said quite breezily that the majority of teachers she knows "don't believe" in the existence of ADHD.
Incidentally, one of my children is currently being assessed for it, but it is not news that I had shared socially outside of my immediate family. I wasn't offended, but I wonder if it is actually a widespread view behind the closed doors?

@Vodkacranberryplease

I never said it didn't exist, but you have to realise there are people who throw the label about with no medical support or evidence and this isn't good.

@ComeOnBabyPopMyBubble

Well clearly there are 100 and 1 factors but quite frankly I don't have the time to sit and list them all

There are other people on this thread who say the same.

Surely you understand the simple idea that a huge majority of ADHD cases are 100% genuine, but there will be parents who whip out the label when it is poor parenting, and that can lead to someone without proper information or training to view it as not a genuine condition

In my experience, a good SENCO is worth their weight in gold.

A bad SENCO, who comes out with absolutely gubbins like "ADHD is caused by shoddy parenting" and "he can't be autistic, he smiles all the time", is worth their weight in shi .... not gold.

@Sinuhe

I think ADHD is real but not as common as it's believed to be. I have no doubt that a lot of children are miss diagnosed. Due to incompetence from parents, teachers and doctors alike. My DS always had problems at nusery and through primary school in regards to his behaviour. (Just a little boy who couldn't sit still, but got better as he got older...) We had several teachers telling us XYZ are classic for ADHD and we should seek an diagnosis. Thing is, we never had these behaviour problems at home. But he struggled with the confinement of the classroom. I really believe it was an easy way to deal with him... stick a label on, give some medication, problem solved! (yep someone suggested medication for a then 6 year old!)

You didn't seek a diagnosis though. Had you taken and believed the advice you would have found that getting a diagnosis is very hard, takes years, and is completed by a multidisciplinary team in the NHS. It's not down in the say so of a nursery nurse.

And for an adult it's easier to buy a house than get a diagnosis you go private. Around £500. Then £100 for meds per month. About £150-300 per month for the psych. Who then eventually might only need to see you every 6 months once he (it's always a he) has worked out you are not going to shove what is literally the worst drug ever your precious meds up your nose.

Jesus. If I wanted to buy drugs a) I wouldn't be buying fucking speed and b) I wouldn't be spending that kind of money on it.

No one does this for fun. No one wants to have this and what makes it so, so much worse is the utter fuckwittery of 99.9% of people when attempting any kind of discussion about it.

@CecilyBlue

I have ADHD and without my Methylphenidate (Ritalin) I honestly could not function in my job, as a mother and with life in general. Every time I go for a hospital appointment for anything not related to my ADHD I usually have to fill out a form listing any medications I currently take. I always get asked by the Doctors or Nurses what the Methylphenidate is for and nearly every single time I say it's for ADHD, the response is absolutely shocking. I've had Doctors laugh, shake their heads, tell me it doesn't exist, etc. I honestly dread filling those forms in as it's so very rare to be met with a positive (or even neutral) response.

God it's so bloody depressing isn't it.

No it isn't.
It is under an umbrella of neurodiverse conditions together with ASD but you can have one, the other, or both.

I have met teachers who think if my DS is given meds he will be as if he never had ADHD (they are not a magic wand) and who think they should just treat him like a naughty child (telling him 100 times to sit still is not going to enable him to sit still, it's going to make him worse and it's going to make him anxious about being in the classroom and therefore try to escape. And I've met an ex teacher (still a Sunday school teacher) who didn't really believe it existed and certainly wasn't going to find out anything about it or make any adjustments.

Sorry that was to @MrsZola

Unless you have it, or your child has it or you treat it you do NOT have an informed opinion.

I don't. But I do work with kids(after some of the replies on here I get that's not actually an endorsement) and I've learned from them. SEN in general is one of my interests and I always ask for more courses,info,guidance while also listening on here.

The kids are the best source of information though. Their mannerisms, their behaviours, non verbal cues alongside their stories, their struggles, their happiness when something works ,their success,their interests,their worries etc.

I would never in a million years though claim to know for sure a child has ADHD, or even worse that they were misdiagnosed with no formal training,knowledge or experience.

@mistyrivers87 Maybe you'd like to come and spend a few days with my 5 year old. When his impulsiveness and reactions to surprises put him in 'flight or fight ' mode. When he stubs his toe on a table and immediately cannot neurologically comprehend what just happened so goes into 'flight or fight' mode...bites his big brother as a reaction to his accident.

Then once things have calmed down my 5 year old feels terrible guilt for biting his brother, who he completely adores. Then my five year old will slam his head onto a stone wall to "knock the bad out of him" because he doesn't understand why he hit his brother

Or maybe there's a neurological delay present and he physically can't deal with things other people can rn. Maybe I'm just a god awful parent?

Not only are your comments uneducated, ignorant and wrong, they are spiteful and cruel.

My son has adhd. I've found there to be a lot of ignorance surrounding the condition, especially in schools.

I've heard it all over the years, he's emotionally immature, he's one of the youngest in the year group, be firmer with him, he needs better boundaries, he needs to build resilience, he needs to just sit still, he needs to learn to manage his emotions, the list goes on and on.

Eventually diagnosed when he turned 8 and much happier in himself now. He takes a tablet everyday to help manage his symptoms.

It's hard when your kid needs support and the school can't give them the full support they need. Friendships don't last for long and they struggle socially and educationally.

I can't believe how many people think ADHD is over diagnosed. Do you think you just take your child to the GP and ask for a diagnosis?!

It's clearly a massively misunderstood condition. Very frustrating. Makes me so sad for my son.

@2155User I never said it didn't exist, but you have to realise there are people who throw the label about with no medical support or evidence and this isn't good

Yes you are absolutely right. They are called 'teachers' or 'nursery nurses' or 'shit parents'

People with just enough knowledge to be dangerous but not enough to know anything useful.

Let me say it again. Loudly.

THE FACT THAT SOME PEOPLE TRY TO USE IT AS AN EXCUSE IS NOT RELEVANT.

People fake back conditions, tiredness, migraines, the flu, stomach bugs and god knows what else. To then extrapolate from that that it's over diagnosed is just ridiculous. People can say what they want - they have to go through the system to get a diagnosis.

Jesus. What is so hard to understand about that? These people gave no impact on diagnosed cases. People who have it have it.

@HoldMyLobster

I feel it's much more likely to be under than over diagnosed, given all the adults who have likely not been diagnosed.

Oh yes, my MIL has probably the most severe ADD I've ever seen. Totally undiagnosed.

You know those threads where people say 'But isn't it funny how people who 'can't help being late' never actually miss flights?'

She misses flights regularly

And anyway that whole flights example is not relevant. I have issues with time keeping but if I am getting a flight or have to be somewhere critically by a certain time, I put all my effort and energy into it. Really focus on that only and leave loads and loads of contingency. I can't possibly put in that amount of effort and time everyday, I'd have a nervous breakdown and I would have do little time for anything else. People really don't understand how much effort it takes and how many if your executive functions are needed to be somewhere on time. You can't possible get it when yours work normally as it's either no or minimal effort for you. You don't need to think about it.

And even with all that effort, I've not missed a flight but I have been late for first day on a job and was just late for a job interview. Luckily they didn't notice (the latter, they did notice the former).

Oh and by the way my DS has a birth parent who has ADHD. Neither of us do. It's called genetics.
But our house is more chaotic than it was because having a small constantly moving person in the house will do that.

To add to the whole "people throw the label around without a diagnosis" conversation...

It can take years to get a diagnosis of a neurodevelopmental condition, years which are crucial for your child, and what are you supposed to do while you're waiting for the diagnosis? Carry on as normal? Ignore their difficulties? Or parent in line with the presumed diagnosis and employ strategies known to benefit children with that particular condition?

When you hear a parent say their child has "suspected " 99% of the time they are not just chancers using that condition as an excuse for some seriously slack boundaries, what they mean by "suspected" is that they are somewhere on the referral/assessment pathway. "Suspected" doesn't mean "made up", it means "awaiting confirmation".

@Vodkacranberryplease

I never said it wasn't real.

OP asked whether some people think ADHD isn't real, and my response is that yes, some people do not think it's real as a result of a small minority self labelling their own child before any diagnoses or without any help.

I don't know why you're getting so angry at me when I've said that ADHD is absolutely fundamentally real but I also understand why some people might not think it is when they haven't been exposed to it or been informed enough

I think it went through a period of being over-diagnosed and also used as a label without diagnosis which was not helpful to anyone (see also: OCD). But it's clearly a real thing for those who actually have it.

@KittyFantastico

I'm talking about those who throw the diagnosis around with absolutely no prior information/knowledge etc.

Of course you can mention ADHD before getting a formal diagnosis, but there are some, again a massively small minority, who will use the label before even thinking of other options

It often runs in families, especially when the cause is childhood trauma/ parenting as all siblings within the family will probably be subjected to this too.

Christ. Is this really what people think? So my twins are both autistic, so you think that means that it’s been caused by our parenting rather than because it’s genetic?

Unbelievable.

@bridgetreilly

Yes, unfortunately I think you're right

@ComeOnBabyPopMyBubble I definitely wasn't referring to you - you are not part of the amorphous 'fuckwit blob' on here.

I'm just shocked how many people actually think they have an informed opinion despite knowing nothing and use the constant invalidations of 'shit parents have kids with adhd and so it's a parenting issue'.

It would be kind of funny if so many of them weren't working with children too

@MrsZola

"So my Ds's psychiatrist at CAMHS was wrong then?"

Yes, or you have misunderstood. ADHD and autism are separate conditions, diagnosed separately. There is however overlap in some symptoms.

@TrainspottingWelsh

I don't know about the teaching profession, but Ime generally it's only a minority that don't believe it exists, the problem, as evidenced by this thread, is so many people are completely ignorant about what adhd is, and therefore don't believe it when the person/ child fails to fit their narrow view of what adhd should look like. And of course when we fail to conform with the nt tactics that could reform us into nt behaviour it just consolidates the bullshit view we are all just badly behaved and should try harder.

The only over diagnosis is of the armchair variety, not actual dx. I don't include those struggling for help prior to a dx in that. Ime it's usually those parents or adults that aren't interested in pursuing support/dx, and are basing their self dx on one or two symptoms that in their ignorance they have decided sum up adhd. Eg naughty children and losing keys, they're always a favourite stereotype.

Children with adhd aren't naughty anymore often than nt children are. Sure, there are times when children with adhd don't behave the same way as nt dc, but we don't go round suggesting nt dc are naughty because they struggle to do things that come easily to those with adhd. And even when a child with adhd has the added problem of inadequate parenting, it isn't representative.

We don't read the bollocks spouted by the likes of @mistyrivers87 and assume nt people are all ignorant and too dull witted to think in anything but one very slooow narrow line, with frequent halts because their 1D brains can't handle more than one thought at a time. But apparently it's ok to do the same when it's adhd.

@Ilovecranberries
May I suggest cutting all sugar/ gluten/ dairy/ going vegan, a wanky reward chart, having firm boundaries and sitting him down to explain why he shouldn't be impulsive or lacking focus, always on the go etc. Of course those suggestions are all patronising and a complete waste of time, but apparently it's helpful to regularly trot out this shit to anyone involved with adhd

Your last paragraph!....😂😂😂😂😂

@2155User I never said it didn't exist, but you have to realise there are people who throw the label about with no medical support or evidence and this isn't good.

This is all you can think about. Why are you so fixated on this? It's just not relevant. People pretend and lie all the time. In fact people with adhd tend to do a lot less pretending and lying than others...

@BertieBotts

Something I've come to realise is that I cannot expect anybody else to have an in depth understanding of ADHD. I don't, and I appreciate that, for example, I myself don't have a very in depth understanding of dyslexia, or T1 diabetes, or hypermobility, or food allergies, or chronic fatigue, to take a random selection of issues that people I know and love live with. I have an in depth understanding of ADHD because it's my issue and my son's issue and so it's important to me to understand it. I can't possibly understand every single issue somebody might have to the same extent. And so I respect that other people won't know everything about my issue either.

So I no longer feel annoyed about people not understanding subtypes, and nor would I expect other people to automatically understand if I say "Oh I have ADHD, please support me". Instead I ask for specific things "Please can you send me this information in an e-mail?" "Excuse me while I write this in my calendar before I forget" "Could I give you money towards the picnic rather than bringing something? Let me give it to you now".

But I have never said things like "Allergies aren't that serious, I'm sure he'll be fine if he has a little bit of milk powder". I listen to the mum of the allergy kid because I know she has much more of an understanding than me!

I do not say "Well I tried so hard to help that dyslexic person but he just isn't trying hard enough." or "Why don't you just use spell check?" I don't know why spellcheck doesn't work for dyslexic people but I know that would be incredibly annoying.

I don't decide randomly that it's best if the person with diabetes eats this food rather than that, because I have no idea what is the best way to control blood sugar levels with diabetes, even if I did read an article about it in a health food magazine.

So if you do not have an in depth understanding of ADHD, that's absolutely fine, but please don't go around pretending that you do know about it (by saying that it's overdiagnosed, or overmedicated, or that XYZ therapy is better than medication, or that medicating children is "sad"). It's okay not to know about something. If you like, you could ask "How can I support you with that?" But mainly, just understand that it's OK not to know a lot about a subject and just be alright with that.

This.