Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think most women keep hair long to be attractive to the opposite sex?

999 replies

Ilovegreentomatoes · 19/07/2020 22:33

It's always been said men prefer long hair it looks more feminine etc.
I know many women hate having their hair short and are devastated if their hairdresser cuts of more than an inch.What is the obsession with long hair? I have fine hair and cut it short because long hair looks crap on me but I'm definitely in the minority. Even women who look better with short hair because of their hair texture insist on keeping it long. Do you think that's because we are subconsciously taught mainly by men that long hair is more attractive. Plus all teen girls have that uniform ultra long hair there is no diversity. And no I'm not jealous because I have short hair!(well very short bob to be fair.)

OP posts:
Thread gallery
24
Justaboy · 20/07/2020 08:10

Just's male POV..

Long hair all the time, any age, looks well attractive to me, dunno why but thats the way it is as I see it:-)

rottiemum88 · 20/07/2020 08:10

I just don't like short hair on myself 🤷🏼‍♀️ couldn't really care less what anyone else thinks, it just doesn't suit me and makes my face look wider. Some women really suit shorter styles and that's fine too. Each to their own etc

Milssofadoesntreallyfit · 20/07/2020 08:10

I've been told i suit short hair, I tried it and felt awful. Up until that point I looked in the mirror and felt happy with what I saw, after getting it cut I felt ugly, I all of a sudden noticed the size of my nose and how many wrinkles I had under my eyes.
Others couldn't see it and said I looked great but I hated it so much I grew it out.

I certainly didnt grow it back to impress men, just to make me feel good about myself.

burninh · 20/07/2020 08:12

What are people actually classing as short hair? I would class bobs etc as short.

Healthquestion101 · 20/07/2020 08:14

Nope.... I keep mine long as it's so easy to tie up. I've had short hair and that required so much more looking after and styling. I couldn't care less what men think, or anyone else for that matter. Surely if YOU feel comfortable in your own skin, that is the only opinion which holds value.

Mummadeeze · 20/07/2020 08:15

I am quite shocked. I have had short hair since my early 20s because i think it suits me and I look more elegant / sophisticated / stylish. Now I am wondering if I look less pretty, round faced or manly than the average woman!!! I like my hair short so am definitely doing it for me, not for men, but it never seemed to be any kind of repellent!

DazzleCamouflage · 20/07/2020 08:15

Just's male POV..

Long hair all the time, any age, looks well attractive to me, dunno why but thats the way it is as I see it:-)

Amusing that both people who've identified themselves as male on the thread appear to have thought they were being asked to adjudicate.

Ristar · 20/07/2020 08:16

My partner definitely prefers long hair, but that's not actually my reason for keeping it long. It's just so much EASIER. I had short hair for a bit in my twenties and it was just a hassle most of the time. It was always sticking up in random directions and needed cut really frequently to keep the style.

Now it's long and I just have it in a ponytail or messy bun most of the time. Haven't had it cut in months for obvious reasons and it's made very little difference!

Xmasfairy86 · 20/07/2020 08:17

It’s definitely an element of easy to maintain. Doesn’t ‘grow out’ of style.

I did have it cut to below my chin once, I wasn’t a fan, some say they preferred it. Each to their own.
DH has openly said he likes my hair long. But jf/when I decide to brave the salon again it might get a reduction by 50% - currently at my bum so in my mind no great loss!! It’s definitely for me, not to feel attractive to others

SallyWD · 20/07/2020 08:17

I've had short hair but long hair is so much easier to maintain. I think I look better with long hair. OK maybe it's about being attractive but I'm not actually trying to attract a man! I have one who couldn't care less about hair.

chubbyhotchoc · 20/07/2020 08:20

I definitely have mine long to be attractive to my husband but I'm not sure I'd be much different if I was single and not bothered about meeting anyone. I like to look nice and I dont have a cute face for a short do. I hate my hair. It's fine and flyaway and I probably spend about £2000 a year on extensions, colour and blow dries. It's an absolute pain in the ass.
Men mostly do seem to prefer long hair. I've heard so many men make negative comments about women's short hair even on very beautiful women.

swampytiggaa · 20/07/2020 08:20

@burninh

What are people actually classing as short hair? I would class bobs etc as short.
See I don’t class those as short. They can still be clipped up/tied up etc.

Short to me is pixie cut or shorter. I love my buzz cut but I do have a smallish face so hair overwhelms me as well as looking frizzy and shit.

Tbh when my hair was longer (just long enough to scrape back) I probably looked similar from the front to how I do now but it was more effort!

My hair is so frizzy it either has to be long enough to tie back or short enough so it can’t curl. I prefer the short option.

JustCallMeGriffin · 20/07/2020 08:21

I can honestly say the last thing on my mind with my hair is whether or not it makes me attractive!

My hair is kept longer because:

  1. I can't afford to have it cut every 6 weeks to keep it in a short style
  2. Very few short styles suit me - very thick heavy hair that basically looks like a mushroom unless cut incredibly well (see point 1 about affording a hairdresser)
  3. Long hair offers more styling options, at it's current length I have 4 formal options I can do myself and a myriad of informal options that are passable for various situations...including just brush and let loose
  4. Short hair is a fucking nuisance that has to be styled every day, you can't just brush it and walk out the house unless you want people to think you've been dragged through a hedge backwards

YABVU to suggest that women keep their hair long to be attractive. Some might, but I bet far more have long hair because they can't afford to get it cut often.

Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel · 20/07/2020 08:22

No it's because I look stupid with my hair short and like it long, couldn't care less what some daft man thinks 🤷🏻‍♀️

Ditto!

Even women who look better with short hair because of their hair texture insist on keeping it long

Hmm

You sound oddly very invested and judgy in how other women wear their hair. Any views on mens hair?

cosmo30 · 20/07/2020 08:24

My hair is fine and just looks lank long, but as I've got older it doesn't grow to past armpit length anyways. I have mine cut into a graduated shoulder length bob and it always looks so much healthier and thicker. I think it depends on hair type, long thick hair looks gorgeous but I think if it's thin it can look straggly imo

Justaboy · 20/07/2020 08:25

Amusing that both people who've identified themselves as male on the thread appear to have thought they were being asked to adjudicate.

Nah! just expressing his opinion:!

formerbabe · 20/07/2020 08:27

I don't know why it's seen as being a badge of honour to say that you're not bothered about looking attractive

OllyBJolly · 20/07/2020 08:28

I've had both (including shaved) and short hair is very expensive to maintain. I don't like the hairdressers enough to go every month.

What I have found during lockdown is just having that extra length is so much easier. The weight pulls the "bedhead" down and it's easier to get into a ponytail. Might stay long for a bit longer. a pain during sex though - keeps getting trapped or caught

No idea what DH thinks - I honestly don't think he has an opinion.

CloudyVanilla · 20/07/2020 08:29

I agree that it's a bit of both but mainly that feeling and appearing attractive is often more for yourself than just to attract the opposite sex, although by its nature it is obviously intrinsically linked.

I have my man, I do want to look attractive for him but the honest truth is my self esteem is higher and my perception is that people perceive me better when I am feeling and looking my best. And not just in a sexual context. There is the odd woman who I get bad vibes from but for the most part both men and women treat me differently when I put effort into my appearance.

lovelifehope · 20/07/2020 08:30

My hairs shoulder length, I like it and dh likes it, I find it odd how many on here are appalled that men might find it attractive. What is wrong with enjoying a bit of admiration from men anyway.Confused

cologne4711 · 20/07/2020 08:30

I don't like short hair. I like the fact that pretty well all teens/young women have long hair these days.

Mine isn't long (just past chin), although it got longer than it had been in about a decade during lockdown and I could put a plait in it which I usually can't!

That said, there are some older women who could do with having their hair shorter once it gets thin. Not short short though, just not shoulder length or more.

But I don't think most women give a toss about what men may think of their hair.

MrsToothyBitch · 20/07/2020 08:31

I've had a bob of varying sharpness and length for years. I've got very thick hair. Had it a bit longer & looser - mid neckish, from last year, loved it- felt the best I've ever looked. I was planning to grow it a little more and soften it but obviously I've missed like a million haircuts since lockdown. Whilst I like the new extra length for novelty, the constant collarbone tickling is irritating, it's been ages since I've really styled it- I've had no feel for it, and feel so dull looking. I've had at least three people tell me how "pretty" I look Confused with my "long" hair. I have a haircut tomorrow and I have no idea whether to have a good chop or just let my hairdresser trim it & breathe some life into it. I think I'll try the latter. I'm now scared of a big chop. Similarly my ultra thick haired mum wanted to soften her pixie & grew it out a bit pre lockdown so the hairdresser had something to work with. Hers has now grown practically into a bob and she's actually been quite excited for length at the back! What to do!

There is definitely social conditioning to it. Other than mum & I conceding that we actually can pull off a little more length than thought, all my "pretty" comments have been from men. They seem to have very generic ideas of what we should look like.

KetoIFWinnie · 20/07/2020 08:31

@DazzleCamouflage

Just's male POV..

Long hair all the time, any age, looks well attractive to me, dunno why but thats the way it is as I see it:-)

Amusing that both people who've identified themselves as male on the thread appear to have thought they were being asked to adjudicate.

Although my hair is too frizzy, as a younger woman, I did feel a bigher buzz from defying this norm. Kind of like yeh convention, im brave enough to ignore you and to do something unattractive. It made me feel more attractive.

Some people on this thread dont understand why frizzy hair stands in the way of short hair 🤣🤣

Bluntness100 · 20/07/2020 08:31

Amusing that both people who've identified themselves as male on the thread appear to have thought they were being asked to adjudicate

Seriously? Are you trying to say only women can comment? They have clearly not tried to adjudicate, simply give their opinion. This is a public forum and unless it breaks guidelines or mnhq says no then all posters are welcome.

LonginesPrime · 20/07/2020 08:32

Nah! just expressing his opinion:!

Yes, but to a completely different question...

The question was about what women think, and you've offered up what you think as a man.

You've contributed nothing to the discussion a hand, except perhaps to demonstrate your skill in making a women's issue all about you as a man.

Swipe left for the next trending thread