To think most women keep hair long to be attractive to the opposite sex?

[Ilovegreentomatoes]

It's always been said men prefer long hair it looks more feminine etc.
I know many women hate having their hair short and are devastated if their hairdresser cuts of more than an inch.What is the obsession with long hair? I have fine hair and cut it short because long hair looks crap on me but I'm definitely in the minority. Even women who look better with short hair because of their hair texture insist on keeping it long. Do you think that's because we are subconsciously taught mainly by men that long hair is more attractive. Plus all teen girls have that uniform ultra long hair there is no diversity. And no I'm not jealous because I have short hair!(well very short bob to be fair.)

having long hair is a lot of work, so it is only indulged by those who care most about their appearance.

I spend about 30 seconds a day tying my long hair back in a ponytail.

If I had short hair it would take a lot longer to style it.

It's hardly a significant personal sacrifice

Ok Ok I come clean, I did not read any of the thread.

Cancel the cheque!!

Keeping your hair long has nothing to do with the opposite sex. I refuse to conform and get a “mum haircut” because Im expected to

DazzleCamouflage & DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult ok I guess you have a point. For me when I hear short hair on a woman I think 'Songs of Praise' haricut as I alluded to. There is no styling involved there.

Likewise I said I was not generally talking about interesting short hair like skin fades and tramlines. And to be fair, you can get them topped up for £10 a month, less than traditional female hair styles (im guessing, don't crucify me for not knowing the cost of a dyes, cuts, blow drys etc).

Also I was obliviously incorrectly under the impression that long hair required almost endless brushing.

How ‘interested in your looks’ are you, @JoachimH? Do you invariably opt for the most effort- and grooming-intensive look for fear that women will find your easy maintenance approach sexless, ageing and unattractive?

Has it occurred to you that the women on Songs of Praise did not make decisions on how they presented themselves in terms of their perceived attractiveness to a male spectator?

Also I was obliviously incorrectly under the impression that long hair required almost endless brushing.

My hair is to my ass, takes me about 3 minutes in the morning to brush and 5 seconds to put it up
Dont get me wrong, i COULD spend an hour doing my hair, if i could be bothered

I cut my hair relatively short every two to three years and then just let it grow out. I just can’t be arsed going to hair dressers (but equally if it gets too long it be ones inconvenient, it gets stuck in car doors, DH rolls onto it in his sleep etc.) .

I had short hair for most of my twenties. Then I grew it long and I love it! It's so much easier to handle, less styling and it feels nice to have so much hair. So I definitely have it long for me.

DazzleCamouflage

I put some effort into my looks, nothing major, but I work out and keep my haircut regularly. Certainly not the most grooming intensive look, that's for sure.

"Do you invariably opt for the most effort- and grooming-intensive look for fear that women will find your easy maintenance approach sexless, ageing and unattractive?"

I take care of myself more for my self confidence than anything else. But yeah, if I went Donald Trump haircut and body I would certainly not feel confident that the other sex found me attractive, and that would bother me. Is that a bad thing?

@JoachimH I think you’re wrong there (not least of all because long hair tends to be less maintenance as many women with long hair just don’t style it and put it up instead, difficult to get away with no blow dry with short hair). I’m also bemused at the thought that Ferrari’s it muscles take a lot of maintenance and are done for the sake of looking good. Muscles usually arise naturally when you exercise, my husband is downright huge and doesn’t do anything to ‘maintain’ his muscles. Ditto tans, they just happen when you go outside, it’s more effort to avoid getting one. As for Ferrari’s, expensive cars tend to be pretty low maintenance. They all gone with good warranties and servicing packages. We’ve never really cleaned ours or done an oil change if something because the car people do it. I don’t even know how to do an oil change.

I wonder whether your referring to chav chic? With the long straightened hair and fake tans/eyelashes/nails/whatever else you can get fake? Most people don’t find that kind of thing attractive due to the class connotations, and I guess it looks a bit weird. Then there’s the personality angle, vain men are downright off putting to me at least. I’d struggle to have a serious relationship with a man that spends lots of time on his appearance, especially at the cost of important things. Surely vain women are equally undesirable?

"Has it occurred to you that the women on Songs of Praise did not make decisions on how they presented themselves in terms of their perceived attractiveness to a male spectator?"

My point was they obviously did not make their decisions based on how attractive they were to men, and that's ok. Doesn't change the fact that I don't think most men would find that haircut particularly attractive.

@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult

having long hair is a lot of work, so it is only indulged by those who care most about their appearance.

I spend about 30 seconds a day tying my long hair back in a ponytail.

If I had short hair it would take a lot longer to style it.

It's hardly a significant personal sacrifice

Well what exactly is wrong about caring about your appearance? And you are wrong anyway- long hair doesn't need as much attention as a short style.

I had a very short Louise Brooks style bob- cut every 5 weeks. I liked it, I thought it suited me. My last cut was the middle of March. I really like it longer and it suits me better. I am going to the hairdresser this afternoon. I'll get my roots done and fringe trimmed but nothing off the length

@Loveinatimeofcovid Ok a lot to unpack here. First off I have no idea what work is required to maintain long hair. I just made an assumption which seems to have been wrong. As for Ferraris, its nothing to do with the maintenance of the vehicle. The fact that they cost several hundreds of thousand pounds new means that not everyone can own one. This means they're scarce, yet they are still desirable, making them attractive.

As for muscles, they absolutely don't just come from no where. your husband must be very fortunate genetically or exercise a fair bit to be positively huge. Either way, not everyone is able to willing to be genetically blessed, exercise a lot or eat enough calories to be huge, so the swole look will always be one that is scarce, contributing to its attractiveness.

"I wonder whether your referring to chav chic? With the long straightened hair and fake tans/eyelashes/nails/whatever else you can get fake? Most people don’t find that kind of thing attractive due to the class connotations, and I guess it looks a bit weird."

That strikes me as pretty classist tbh. And I wasn't even talking about 'chavs' just people with any sort of effort into their appearance, including makup, botox, plastic surgury, any hair dye, any hair cut etc.

@JoachimH well yes, part of the reason why people look down on high maintenance styling is classism. They look down on people with really clean houses who do the cleaning themselves for the same reason. People view those who spend a lot of time on fairly meaningless thing like hair instead of using that time to do something useful in a poor light.

@SerenDippitty

Always thought Jennifer Lien ( Star Trek Voyager) loomed beautiful with her short cut,

That is a very boring and very ordinary haircut. She looks beautiful because she has a lovely face- it has nothing to do with that hairstyle.

I don't think its any objective beauty, more that having long hair is a lot of work, so it is only indulged by those who care most about their appearance.

hahahaha

I don't even use shampoo on mine.

I liked having short hair but my god the work it needed everyday was a ballache. Hated waking up looking like a demented cockatoo as well.

With long hair, it’s up in a bun in ten seconds. I always look presentable, even first thing in the morning 😁
I’ve never thought about being more or less attractive, it’s all about what makes my life easier and in fact I rarely wear it down.

There’s nothing wrong on anyone wanting to look attractive though.

As someone who previously thought long hair defined a woman & recently shaved their head in lockdown because you only live once and I wanted to try the “Amber Rose” style because she is gorgeous. Also my dreadlocks were causing me scalp issues (tension alopecia & soreness)

So my hair is now a #1-2 now and I also shaved it with a razor the other day because it grows so fast, I wanted to go full skinhead for a week!

I can say have been getting my share of male attention lately which was a shock. I did it for the experience & was fine to not have male attention - but Have had much more pleasant reaction to my shaved head than my dreadlocks from males, that’s for sure !

Feel get a lot more smiles & attention from men, which is the last thing I expected. it’s like, they think you’re probably a lesbian but aren’t sure so they are curious about you perhaps?

Granted have bleached it to look more fashionable & also now have no hair been spending more time with grooming techniques like shaping eyebrows/natural makeup routine (thanks to UK guru Robert Welsh! He is a pro makeup artist on YouTube & have learnt amazing new tips from him )

So it’s also possible that an improvement in my makeup has helped gain more male attention, but the buzz cut has given me a new confidence & funnily enough feel MORE feminine now ! it is really quite life changing.

Am lucky to have a nice shaped head, which is the only thing you can’t be sure about until you actually buzz it.

But I can highly recommend ladies try this just once in your life! It’s liberating & freeing. I revved myself up watching YouTube videos of girls shaving their head & also brad mondo’s guide to bleaching your hair at home.

Bleaching my hair was 10/10 more stressful than shaving it but now have the hang of it, I intend to keep my head buzzed indefinitely.

My dad is now calling me “son” which is cute

I agree OP- the tumbling tendrils fairy tale princess look on women in business wanting to be taken seriously - I think it is just to look sexy --- why wouldn't you just tie it back or in a loose bun.
Confuses me.

My hair is long cos I don’t like getting it cut. It grows quickly too and a bobble or clip keeps it out my face. If it were short I’d have to get it cut every few months. What a faff. My DH has long hair too for the same reason.

The ladies on songs of praise probably have short hair because it was fashionable when they were in their teens/ 20s.
When posters with long hair get old many will still have long hair.

I haven't read the full thread. My mum used to make me have a bob when I was a child/early teens and I hated it, all the other girls had beautiful long hair. From when I was allowed to make the decision I decided I'd never have short hair again. I'm 30 now and it's down to my belly button, it's also super thick and if it was short would take a lot of work as it would go "out". My mum has now commented I'm a mum and should have it shorter which I will never understand. I think it takes amazing bone structure and a small nose to pull off super short hair.

Yes I personally think long hair is more attractive but I think I look nice, I'm not trying to attract lots of men with it. Couldnt care less what they think

I have straight cut bob length hair and it suits me a lot better than any other style. I’ve had long hair and also extremely short hair before (shaven in my teen years in fact!) but this length suits me best. My DGM has always had the same length hair as me for as long as I can recall and it suits her too.

I’ve never cut my hair to appease men and I’ve also never had a man comment on my hair length.

I have thin hair and when it’s short I look very “butch” and I’ve been compared to a fat Nicola sturgeon. I prefer a shoulder length cut of a chin length bob

I cut my hair really really short every few years. I've had unwanted comments from people (all men) some of which I don't even consider myself good friends with about why I shouldn't do it. Can't fathom why they care so much!