To have picked up my DD by her request?

[PurpleThistles84]

My DD15 was having contact at her fathers this weekend. She text me this afternoon asking me to come and get her. I phoned her to find out what was wrong but she wouldn’t speak because her father was present. I then attempted to call her father but he didn’t pick up so my DH and I drove down to get her.

Once she was in the car she said she’d had a bad argument with her father. They had gone to a shop to pick up a click and collect, my DD decided to wait in the car. Her father then went to enter the shop but was refused entry because he wasn’t wearing a mask. My DD says he then proceeded to get into an argument with the man even though he had a mask in the car. Eventually he came back to the car and put the mask on but my DD said as soon as he was past the man and into the shop, he took the mask off. She said she was totally mortified by his behaviour. Once he was back in the car, he began trying to convince her he was right to do what he did stating various conspiracy theories, his rights etc etc.

My DD is autistic and is extremely socially anxious so this situation really distressed her. It’s also not the first time he has embarrassed her, in that last year her friends recorded her father stood on the high street preaching about ‘Flat Earth’.

Since picking her up and taking her home, it’s been two hours and her father has just made contact, simply to say our other 3 dc want to stay an extra night, he has not made any mention of DD15, to see if she is okay.

He's a Flat Earther?! Autistic or not, your daughter is correct to be embarrassed by this loon.

You did the right thing my mum has always told us that if ever we feel awkward or upset need picking up just to call her. I was once at a sleepover and wanted to go home due to the other girls behaviour and then not letting me sleep. The girls mum said I couldn’t ring my mum as it was to late but my mum has always insisted to ring. I called her on my mobile and she came and got me. I’m for ever grateful. You did the right thing

You did precisely the right thing I hope she is ok and not too upset about things .

@MingeofDeath amongst many other various conspiracy stuff. He is forever telling the DC all sorts of daft things, space isn’t real, chemtrails are poisoning us all etc etc. I think he is gradually losing his marbles.

God no wonder he's your ex what a tool!

You definitely did the right thing.

YABU. He shares different opinions to you and to her - so what?

He went into the shop and took his mask off? Fine - that's his right to do so, isn't it? Masks aren't mandatory yet, are they? (unless you're in Scotland?)

Being "mortified" by her dad removing his mask is an overreaction. I would be explaining to her that people have different views and to respect that.

@InFiveMins we are in Scotland.

He sounds unhinged. I would be very hesitant to allow the children to be under his care.

I don’t think I would’ve have picked her up in all honesty, I think I would’ve preferred to just talk it out with her on the phone.

I don’t think I would’ve liked to get involved and possibly undermine dad or sour relations between the families. After all it doesn’t sound like she was in any physical or emotional harm/danger just a bit embarrassed and cringing over dad, let’s face it we’ve all cringed over our parents a time or two.

I wouldn’t have gotten involved in this to be honest.

YABU. He shares different opinions to you and to her - so what?

You are entitled to you own opinions but not your own facts. It's a little more likely that he has some mental health issues than the earth is flat.

He shares different opinions to you and to her - so what? I would be explaining to her that people have different views and to respect that.

You cannot have ‘different views’ on factual topics and expect those views to respected - what shite. The Earth is not flat. If someone tells you it is, that’s not them expressing a different opinion, it’s called ‘being wrong’.

Parents are always embarrassing according to my children so going out of your way to embarrass them isn't good. He's entitled to his views but doesn't have to make a scene. It's impressive that she could trust you to get out of an uncomfortable situation.

Tough one! But I’m not sure you should have picked your daughter up just because she disagreed with him. I think he sounds like a long standing issue but on the basis you gave on this occasion I’d say YABU.

Yes he sounds a bit nutty but he hasn’t actually done anything wrong or put DD in danger etc so I think YABU. That should have been resolved between them, DD was being oversensitive. Also Dads WILL embarrass their children, that is pretty much a given!

YABU. He shares different opinions to you and to her - so what?

Absolutely agree with this. I believe that, at night, we all turn into spaghetti (the brain becomes a meatball) and slither around outside until dawn. This is what causes dreams. Coronavirus was manufactured by New Zealand because nobody was paying them attention. Donald Trump is a duck in a Halloween satsuma costume.

These are my opinions. They should be accorded the same weight as those based on actual facts.

Donald Trump is a duck in a Halloween satsuma costume.

Honestly, nothing would surprise me about that man.

@PixieLee123 but he has done something wrong... They are in Scotland...he has to wear a mask in the shop

@MrsTerryPratchett

Donald Duck. You think that's a coincidence?

If she had been younger I would have said YANBU but at 15 I'd have asked her to leave the room and explain to me on the phone what the issue was. It seems a bit OTT unless she was distressed rather than embarrassed and I'd have tried to change her mind. Dad may have some odd-ball ideas but she can't keep baling every time he sounds off. Is she able to tell him how she feels at times like this in the hopes he's aware that it bothers her?

Yanbu. You need to be her safe space, and if any of my dc ever wanted picking up in this situation, I’d be there.

Posters who are saying she was just embarrassed by her dad; she is autistic and him breaking the rules about masks most probably caused her a lot of distress. It’s not as simple as a daft dad joke or something.

What a silly fuss about nothing.

I’m glad you went and fetched her but I’m surprised you’re letting the other children stay with him when he’s clearly a total nutcase.

Anyone that quotes ridiculous conspiracy theories isn’t safe to be in charge of a child’s welfare. I’d only be allowing visits with supervision. Seriously!

[quote JesusInTheCabbageVan]@MrsTerryPratchett

Donald Duck. You think that's a coincidence?[/quote]

No wonder you divorced him.

Are you entirely convinced that your children are safe with him?

@happytoday73 I mean nothing ‘wrong’ that warrants a phone call to mum and DD being picked up. It is an over reaction and I think DD should have been encouraged to talk to her Dad about it and resolve things.