To have picked up my DD by her request?

[PurpleThistles84]

My DD15 was having contact at her fathers this weekend. She text me this afternoon asking me to come and get her. I phoned her to find out what was wrong but she wouldn’t speak because her father was present. I then attempted to call her father but he didn’t pick up so my DH and I drove down to get her.

Once she was in the car she said she’d had a bad argument with her father. They had gone to a shop to pick up a click and collect, my DD decided to wait in the car. Her father then went to enter the shop but was refused entry because he wasn’t wearing a mask. My DD says he then proceeded to get into an argument with the man even though he had a mask in the car. Eventually he came back to the car and put the mask on but my DD said as soon as he was past the man and into the shop, he took the mask off. She said she was totally mortified by his behaviour. Once he was back in the car, he began trying to convince her he was right to do what he did stating various conspiracy theories, his rights etc etc.

My DD is autistic and is extremely socially anxious so this situation really distressed her. It’s also not the first time he has embarrassed her, in that last year her friends recorded her father stood on the high street preaching about ‘Flat Earth’.

Since picking her up and taking her home, it’s been two hours and her father has just made contact, simply to say our other 3 dc want to stay an extra night, he has not made any mention of DD15, to see if she is okay.

I think picking her up without talking to her father first is unlikely to have been the best route. But his lack of concern about her speaks volumes and is a bit of a counter to that argument.

In general, I think co-parents need to be fairly tough on making sure they don’t get played off against each other and try and maintain a positive attitude (or at least front) towards the other parent. But that requires trust. I would have a hard time trusting the judgement of or being positive about co-parenting with a flat-earther.

She's 15 years old. Regardless of the other circumstances, she's old enough to decide if she wants to cease contact at any time. I assume the OP will continue to facilitate contact if the DD wants to visit in the future and that it will not prevent the other 3 children from continuing with their contact patterns.

If she was near the shop and it had big windows she would see; I've seen into B&Q from a car.