Loads of mean threads!

[PattyCake45]

Is it just me or has there been a disproportionate amount of really nasty threads recently? Not going into detail as it's TAAT but there's been a fair few where comments have immediately descended into attacking OPs, mocking them or offering sarcastic and unhelpful replies. Some of it has been quite upsetting to be honest.

I know MN is famed for its no nonsense nature but a lot of what I've seen has been sheer nastiness. What's going on? Has everyone just reached the end of their tether with lockdown?

PS I'm braced and ready for this one to go the same way

No more than usual.

@vodkaredbullgirl really? I feel like it's been particularly bad this weekend. Some really savage remarks from some people asking fairly innocent if occasionally daft questions.

PS I'm braced and ready for this one to go the same way

Oh don't worry, it will

I think MN reflects the mood of the times. During the build up to lockdown and immediately afterwards it was fucking savage - I had to step away for a bit. Now, people are exhausted and stir crazy.

There always is on aibu. It is definitely not for the faint hearted. I like that you do get a range of opinions, some very frank. I have however noticed that some posters are mean for the sake of it and do not offer anything remotely helpful in terms of advice or another perspective on a post.

This comes up with depressing regularity. I don’t know what anyone is supposed to do about it.

Maybe ive been on here far too long

It's because it's anonymous and people can't reveal their inner twattiness in real life so they do it on here. Just ignore.

Yeah I know it's a regular theme but I just feel like it's got a lot worse lately. Lots of disproportionate responses to posts. More than usual anyway.

There is also a lot of really nice, supporting or funny threads.

Tbh some of the threads just warrant a harsh response... Even OPs can be dicks😁

Some people ask stupid questions. Plain stupid. If you do that, don’t expect to be humored.

I think it's partly due to name changing. People can say what they want within talk guidelines, without ever really having to 'own it' as they can just slip into another 'nice' name.

Similarly, threads like this appear at least once or twice a week, generally by name changers. Probably so that no-one can say "Well hold on a minute OP, you weren't particularly nice on that thread the other day".

It's the nature of the beast I think.

@PattyCake45 the thing is OP, how often do you stick up for OPs when they’re getting a hard time?

If you’re not actively helping a beleaguered OP then you’re part of the problem.

Yes, CV19 brings out the worst in a lot of people and times are hard so people lash out.

It's just you, op.

@WorraLiberty

I think it's partly due to name changing. People can say what they want within talk guidelines, without ever really having to 'own it' as they can just slip into another 'nice' name.

Similarly, threads like this appear at least once or twice a week, generally by name changers. Probably so that no-one can say "Well hold on a minute OP, you weren't particularly nice on that thread the other day".

It's the nature of the beast I think.

Spot on. Unlimited name changing has a lot to answer for.

And these threads come up so often and are usually deleted.

@PattyCake45

Yeah I know it's a regular theme but I just feel like it's got a lot worse lately. Lots of disproportionate responses to posts. More than usual anyway.

So did you challenge / report?

Op have you name changed for this post?

Everyone gets short and pissy sometimes. And lockdown isn't exactly good for people.

But there has never been a time in the history of MN when people haven't thought it was worse. It's either getting worse and worse or it's the same as it's always been and you're just noticing at the moment.

I definitely always challenge if an OP is being targeted unfairly. There's a clear difference between harsh but fair advice and nastiness for the sake of nastiness. I've seen a lot more of the latter lately. It's a shame when this can also be such a good support network for people who are genuinely struggling and need advice.

And yes I am a serial name changer (NC for this post!) but that's for fear of being outed by anyone I know more than anything. I would never be personal and cruel in the way I've seen some posters be because ultimately a person on the other side of the screen who could be really vulnerable and an internet pile on or abuse from trolls can sometimes be enough to tip people over the edge. If I can't say anything encouraging or helpful I tend not to say anything at all.

I find nc very annoying, why do it?

other than not wanting to be outed.

And yes I am a serial name changer (NC for this post!) but that's for fear of being outed by anyone I know more than anything.

You've just said you name changed for this post though. What was the reason for that?

We can only take your word that you're only ever encouraging and helpful because you're covered your tracks.

This is what I mean about name changing being the nature of the beast OP. It's just too easy for people to be nasty one minute and nice the next and never have to own what they're saying.

*You've covered your tracks

Ok I get your point on NC. It does mean there is little accountability for people.

I NC regularly because I post a LOT of personal stuff here. Things about my health, relationship, sex life along with everyday chat like parenting and household stuff. The very nature of an anonymous forum means that people are going to ask advice about things they might not feel comfortable talking to people in RL about. For that reason I think the NC function is a useful tool. You don't want someone recognising a particular anecdote then being able to search your username and coming across posts about your partners ED or something

@PattyCake45 - I suspect part of it is observational bias - you see one t strikes you as mean, and it makes you more alert to potential meanness elsewhere, and you can end up seeing the mean threads completely out of proportion to the nice ones. I think people can become over sensitised to meanness, if that makes sense.

I also think that the more contentious threads tend to move faster, so they stay up at the top of the Active threads, whilst the supportive or helpful threads don’t get the same head of steam up, so they can slide out of view more easily.

If I ever feel a bit disillusioned, I look at the funny threads in Classics, or the Woolly Hugs threads.

During the build up to lockdown and immediately afterwards it was fucking savage - I had to step away for a bit.

Same! And when I mentioned on a particularly nasty thread that I had left the site quite a few times due to bloody awful behaviour, I was jumped on and told to "fuck off then" .... so I did!
I'm only just back on here the last couple of weeks but I'm already debating if I should be.

You've just said you name changed for this post though. What was the reason for that?

I name change often. If I start a new thread I will because I was "found out" in real life for one of my posts so now if I'm going to have any details in a post that could identify me, at least they can't join the dots with my previous posts. (I have a very nosey/borderline stalky ex friend!)