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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Greedy teenager

213 replies

Brownthomas · 19/07/2020 00:07

I remember being a teenager and I was very self centered & preoccupatied.

Our 15 year old is out of control with food. He is average weight etc but needs to eat everything in the house.

Today I asked him not to eat the food for his brothers birthday party this week, but I didn’t mention the drinks .,,, I’ve just found a 12 pack of Capri sun demolished in his bedroom.

They don’t even that good Hmm I have to specifically ask him or else he eats all the food in the house

OP posts:
corythatwas · 19/07/2020 12:32

Would they have equally selective hearing if it was about a mate's food? Food stored for an office party or shared between school friends? Or is it just a measure of the respect they feel for the family members who are not "boys"? Would they be equally happy if you scoffed all the treats, WHatifIfeellikeacat?

canyoucallbacklater · 19/07/2020 12:34

This isn't normal behaviour and most of this thread sits as a 'boys will be boys thread'.

If girls can go through puberty without turning into food-stealing curmudgeons then boys can do.

He took something he knew belonged to his little brother, same with the donuts etc. Same with all the other boys on this thread. What are the consequences? It's no different than them pocketing loose change on the side.

Then again, more often than not they don't seem to be challenged so why would they do anything different? It's a want - take - have mentality and it will do them no favours.

Chances are the reason 'teenage boys' stop eating so much is that they naturally develop into more considerate adults that realise the world doesn't resolve around them.

When they eat the family out of house and home what is the response?! Because it should be WTF were you thinking you selfish sod, they were for everybody.

There is a difference between hunger and fancy. If they were hungry they would eat dry toast, they won't so they aren't. If they can't share they don't get anything at all. Puberty doesn't devoid them of all sense and compassion - to infer it does it is insulting to them.

estatenonestate · 19/07/2020 12:41

I don't remember my brothers eating like this when they were teenagers. They seemed to eat a regular amount if food. When did this
Become the norm? And when people say that teenage boys need calories that is a very strange thing to say - I mean how many? 3000? There must be about 200 cal in a Capri sun so that is over 2000 calories in just liquid. That isn't right. I think they are just greedy

WhatifIfeellikeacat · 19/07/2020 12:46

Would they have equally selective hearing if it was about a mate's food? Food stored for an office party or shared between school friends? Or is it just a measure of the respect they feel for the family members who are not "boys"? Would they be equally happy if you scoffed all the treats,

By selective hearing I meant that my DH doesn't listen properly. He has such moments (he nods when I talk to him, agrees with me but it doesn't mean he listens to me properly; very rude, I know) but luckily not all the time.

LannieDuck · 19/07/2020 12:47

'Yes' to seconds and larger meals if they're hungry. 'No' to selfishness and greed.

The donuts things is breathtakingly selfish. This is where those husbands who eat their wives snacks and don't give consideration to the rest of the family come from. I hope you called him on it clearly and unequivocally.

I would have said that next time you go shopping, you'd buy a whole box of donuts for his sibling, a whole box of donuts for DH and a whole box of donuts for yourself. Then you'd each give him a third of a donut as his share. Would he be ok with that? If he says yes, then do it! It'll be a good lesson. If he says no, then really push him on why it's ok for him to eat 3/4 of a treat and leave 1/4 for the other three members of the family to share between them... but it's not ok when you do it to him?

LurkingStill · 19/07/2020 12:51

@Georgieporgie29

My 15yo DS can eat, same as others he has hollow legs. However, he has to ask for food and can’t just take it. Does nobody else have this rule? I’ve always said ask for treats but fruit is fair game, he still asks before taking that though.
I was just thinking the same thing when reading the responses! I have 14 year old B/G twins. The only thing they have free access to is fruit. Anything else needs to be asked for... Amazed that some people think eating all the food available is normal behaviour!!
OnAPar · 19/07/2020 12:52

Unless you regularly buy Capri sun, he probably knew it was for the party. 2/3 I could excuse, but the entire pack?! How selfish, there’s other people in the house too.

OnAPar · 19/07/2020 12:53

Could excuse if you regularly buy Capri sun. If you don’t then he knew it was for the party.....

InFiveMins · 19/07/2020 12:59

To the posters suggesting he goes and pays to replace them, why? He's eating and drinking from his own home - he must be hungry or thirsty to be doing it Hmm

He's a teenager, he's growing, many teenagers are the same. My brother was like this until about 16/17, he's probably hiding them in his room because he's embarrassed.

Waveysnail · 19/07/2020 13:01

Selfish self centred behaviour. We have the rule that they can have cereal, sandwiches, dilute juice and milk as much as they like. Everything else they ask for. If it's something treat wise I dont usually buy they know they are allowed one a day unless again they have asked.

Sexnotgender · 19/07/2020 13:04

@InFiveMins

To the posters suggesting he goes and pays to replace them, why? He's eating and drinking from his own home - he must be hungry or thirsty to be doing it Hmm

He's a teenager, he's growing, many teenagers are the same. My brother was like this until about 16/17, he's probably hiding them in his room because he's embarrassed.

Oh I didn’t realise they were the rules? Cool. Just away to drink the special bottle of expensive wine my husband was given as a gift by his now deceased mother. It’s in my house so it’s fair game right?

Or maybe... I can not be a dickhead.

SarahTancredi · 19/07/2020 13:13

To the posters suggesting he goes and pays to replace them, why? He's eating and drinking from his own home - he must be hungry or thirsty to be doing it

Yet when they are out wandering with their mates or at the skate park they can go for hours without food.

Same when they are at their mates houses when those mates who have parents who have other people to feed and don't allow the fridge to be emptied by teenagers with no manners.

They manage at school all day too

LetitiaMartin · 19/07/2020 13:18

To the posters suggesting he goes and pays to replace them, why? He's eating and drinking from his own home - he must be hungry or thirsty to be doing it hmm

Thirsty? I presume there is water in the tap?

welldonesquirrels · 19/07/2020 13:26

Padlock on the cupboard.

You provide three healthy square meals a day with as large helpings as he wants and one substantial healthy snack. Sweet pudding (cake, ice cream etc) once or twice a week and no more.

No juice, crisps, sweets, cake, processed garbage or junk. If he's nailing a 12 pack of Capri Sun in one go, he doesn't have a hunger problem, he has a junk food / sugar problem. Most normal people would be sick if they consumed that much sugary juice in a short space of time.

So don't make it available to him. If he wants to eat and drink crap, he's probably too old for you to stop him completely but he can at least walk to the shops and get it with his own money.

Brefugee · 19/07/2020 13:31

so much "boys will be boys" crap on here though.
If you tell someone not to eat X - and they do it is greedy and selfish and not what living within a family is about. Who takes the last thing of anything (especially when you've had all the others)? Selfish wankers, I'm afraid.

I'd be buying really nice treats for the other DC and giving the greedy one really boring stuff. Because if there's one thing i can't stand it's selfishness.

LetitiaMartin · 19/07/2020 13:44

so much "boys will be boys" crap on here though.

Yes, you see it on so many threads. 'You can't expect teenagers to do [whatever].' Well, rude, selfish, inconsiderate boys grow up to be rude, selfish, inconsiderate men, and in ten years time it'll be their wives and girlfriends having to deal with it and posting on Mumsnet about it.

sixthtimelucky · 19/07/2020 13:48

It's not 'boys will be boys' crap. Teenage boys eat ALL THE TIME. My 18 year old can get through about 10,000 calories a day and he's slim and muscly (v sporty too).

Brefugee · 19/07/2020 13:48

it's staggering. We have children and we bring them up and send them out into the world and hopefully they are functioning members of society. If not we've failed in our job.

Not eating all the treats, never taking the last of something without asking... in 15 years we'll be having the "my selfish husband ate the whole family's dinner" and i bet if we probe further they will have been one of these hollow-legged greedy selfish fucker teenagers...

If they're old enough to go to the shops for replacements, they're old enough to know not to be selfish.

ShinyFootball · 19/07/2020 13:48

Most people have said he's a selfish sod TBF

Op what did you say to him about the doughnuts and the Capri? I would have read the riot act tbh

BreatheAndFocus · 19/07/2020 13:49

It’s not so much greedy as disgustingly selfish and very immature. He has no self control and covets treat items he absolutely knows aren’t his.

I’d be furious! All this “The poor diddums was hungry...” is infantilising him. He’s 15 fgs! He knows he shouldn’t do it - he just doesn’t care.

I’d insist he went and got some more. I’d also make it very clear that he was never to do that again. Tell him he needs to ask if he’s hungry and wants something to eat. Not to limit his food but so you can confirm what he can eat as he’s obviously too immature and selfish to make his own decisions!

Sexnotgender · 19/07/2020 13:54

@sixthtimelucky

It's not 'boys will be boys' crap. Teenage boys eat ALL THE TIME. My 18 year old can get through about 10,000 calories a day and he's slim and muscly (v sporty too).
Wow. I didn’t know you were Thor’s mum!

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/amp.nine.com.au/article/d69180c2-b91a-4e62-8e31-ef9ad1998a57

WorraLiberty · 19/07/2020 13:54

@InFiveMins

To the posters suggesting he goes and pays to replace them, why? He's eating and drinking from his own home - he must be hungry or thirsty to be doing it Hmm

He's a teenager, he's growing, many teenagers are the same. My brother was like this until about 16/17, he's probably hiding them in his room because he's embarrassed.

Because he's a selfish fucker who took a whole box of 12 Capri Suns to his own room, knowing there are other people in the house to consider.

I'm surprised you even need to ask that?

Soubriquet · 19/07/2020 13:57

If he was genuinely hungry, he would make himself some food

Even if it was a sandwich. Instead, he chose to eat all the special donuts bar one. He knows they were a treat and not a norm. He just didn’t care

Same to the drink. If he was thirsty, he would get himself a drink instead of stealing the Capri Sun that he knows is for the party

It’s pure selfishness

Shizzlestix · 19/07/2020 13:59

You’re right, OP, it’s greed and I’d go crazy at this, it’s selfish and rude. If he’s hungry, fine, feed him, but I think it’s just bloody rude of him. Sleeping in til 2 as well?? Blimey!

frazzledquaver · 19/07/2020 13:59

Keep an eye on him. If he is really craving sweet foods and drinking much more than usual, and binging without putting on weight, it could possibly be a sign of something like type one diabetes. Could also be selfishness/hunger/boredom/disrespect/growth spurt. But just something to bear in mind.