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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Greedy teenager

213 replies

Brownthomas · 19/07/2020 00:07

I remember being a teenager and I was very self centered & preoccupatied.

Our 15 year old is out of control with food. He is average weight etc but needs to eat everything in the house.

Today I asked him not to eat the food for his brothers birthday party this week, but I didn’t mention the drinks .,,, I’ve just found a 12 pack of Capri sun demolished in his bedroom.

They don’t even that good Hmm I have to specifically ask him or else he eats all the food in the house

OP posts:
SarahTancredi · 19/07/2020 11:10

We usually buy 12 pints of milk, three loaves of bread, 72 Weetabix, etc etc for our three teens - we are in for a shock when these won't be consumed within a few days!!

Teens only need a little bit extra calories than adults do. So if you are consuming the 2000/2400 or whatever it is a day through your three meals then really a snickers bar should cover the extra for the kid.

Theres no need for supernoodles, second dinners, 12 caprisuns, family size bags of crisps etc

inchoccyheaven · 19/07/2020 11:10

We have a snack drawer for each person in our house where treats are put so all get a fair share. It has been rare for anyone to take something out of another person's drawer so it works well.
I find it inconsiderate and disrespectful to eat more than a fair share without asking. If we accept it is normal as teens when do they learn it's not ?

WorraLiberty · 19/07/2020 11:13

@nagynolonger

I've raised five teenage boys and what you describe is normal IMO. You have to buy more food and good food that fills them up. If they are active and growing more carbs will do no harm. Obviously plenty of fruit and veg too.

The party drinks was a bit off but I've had to hide treats, and in the end put a lock on a cupboard to stop this kind of thing. They do grow out of it.

I've raised 3 and actually I'm still raising a 17 year old.

Like fuck would I ever resort to hiding food in my own house.

CherryValanc · 19/07/2020 11:15

They are two different things: eating a lot and eating frequently, and eating everything because it's there and not caring who or what it's for.

Teenage boys do the first.

CherryValanc · 19/07/2020 11:19

And the tolerating the second is 'boys will be boys' territory and raising a selfish man-child.

(Sorry terminated by post too soon!)

nagynolonger · 19/07/2020 11:24

*I've raised 3 and actually I'm still raising a 17 year old.

Like fuck would I ever resort to hiding food in my own house.*

You do what you want Worral. And do get off your high horse dear. This is a public forum and we can all post about our own experiences and views.

WorraLiberty · 19/07/2020 11:32

You do what you want Worral. And do get off your high horse dear. This is a public forum and we can all post about our own experiences and views.

Is there any point in this thread at which I've said no-one else can post about their own experiences and views?

It's you who seems to have a problem here, so that's a bit rich.

alphabetti · 19/07/2020 11:37

I have teenagers and they would be in massive trouble if they drank a whole pack of drinks to themselves. Sorry but I think it’s greedy.

Let them know there’s certain things they can take if they hungry and they don’t need permission but they should understand there’s other things that need to be asked for.

Teenagers can be selfish but we need to teach them to be considerate of others.

WhatifIfeellikeacat · 19/07/2020 11:37

During puberty teenagers are always hungry.

EggBoxes · 19/07/2020 11:38

Did you make him go to the shops for replacement drinks?

corythatwas · 19/07/2020 11:40

Yes, WhatifIfeellikeacat, but that doesn't mean they have to assuage their hunger on Capri Sun. As my parents used to point out to my older brother, "If you are hungry then you can eat more spuds. If you are thirsty there is water in the tap. Treats are to give everybody a nice time."

nagynolonger · 19/07/2020 11:40

I think you reposted my comment dear.

Maybe you don't like being challenged when you do that.

Also I have not raised a man child. Mine are all men now. They can cook, clean, and are fully involved in raising their own young families. Along with wives/partners of course.

Stannisbaratheonsboxofmatches · 19/07/2020 11:43

I don’t think that eating a lot is a problem as such - as others have said they are always hungry and growing.

It’s the ploughing through “luxury” or convenient items that’s the problem. Anything that doesn’t require preparation just being hoovered up because they can’t be bother to make a sandwich, get some cereal etc. I think that’s the problem and he needs to know that somethings are off limit or need to be shared.

Stannisbaratheonsboxofmatches · 19/07/2020 11:44

"If you are hungry then you can eat more spuds. If you are thirsty there is water in the tap. Treats are to give everybody a nice time."

^^
This is a good way of putting it.

WorraLiberty · 19/07/2020 11:44

@nagynolonger

I think you reposted my comment dear.

Maybe you don't like being challenged when you do that.

Also I have not raised a man child. Mine are all men now. They can cook, clean, and are fully involved in raising their own young families. Along with wives/partners of course.

Yes I did respond to your comment. That's a completely normal thing to do on a chat board....you know...err chat Confused

I said 'Like fuck would I ever hide food in my own house' and you had a problem with my post. You certainly didn't 'challenge' me?

I'm not sure who called your sons 'Man child' but it certainly wasn't me.

frazzledquaver · 19/07/2020 11:44

Is he excessively thirsty that you've noticed?

SarahTancredi · 19/07/2020 11:48

During puberty teenagers are always hungry

And yet rarely do people post " my teen ate all the tuna stakes with chili and lime dressing and all the mixed salad leaves and pine nuts and new potatoes"

9 times out of ten its utter utter crap and bags of pasta , cakes etc

Suddenly they arent so hungry if they have to cook it themselves or its good for them.

nagynolonger · 19/07/2020 12:01

Sorry it wasn't you who mentioned man child. Worral it was another poster. I cba to pick them up on it!

It's a gorgeous summers afternoon and I have much better things to do.

Brownthomas · 19/07/2020 12:07

@EggBoxes I haven’t yet as he’s still asleep! We won’t see him until around 2.

I’m usually very tolerant of his sleeping and eating. I buy extra foods that he likes so he can’t be hungry.

My gripe is that he took a huge amount of something that he knew was not for him. He ate all the doughnuts knowing they were for the family. He drank all the Capri suns knowing they were for the party. To bring a whole box up to his room is bad behaviour.

He’s not a difficult teen but he would be very selfish with food. For example when I ordered Chinese food last week he tried to order two main courses for himself. He was really put out when I told him the day he’s paying he can two main courses Confused

It’s greed

OP posts:
Anydreamwilldo12 · 19/07/2020 12:17

He's entitled OP and obviously doesn't give a toss when you get annoyed about his greed. I would give every other person a box of treats to keep in their room and tell him he's not getting any until he learns respect and manners.
Other people will say thats not the right way to go about it I know but thats what I would do.

WhatifIfeellikeacat · 19/07/2020 12:19

frazzledquaver

Is he excessively thirsty that you've noticed?

That would be my concern as well.

WhatifIfeellikeacat · 19/07/2020 12:24

*And yet rarely do people post " my teen ate all the tuna stakes with chili and lime dressing and all the mixed salad leaves and pine nuts and new potatoes"

9 times out of ten its utter utter crap and bags of pasta , cakes etc

Suddenly they arent so hungry if they have to cook it themselves or its good for them*

I agree but it's a very common thing for teenagers to munch on some junk or easy, ready available food. I am always amazed how my teen will take a pack a crisp or two instead of opening a fridge and taking an apple out, for example. For some reason opening a cupboard is so much easier than opening the fridge.

Sexnotgender · 19/07/2020 12:24

For example when I ordered Chinese food last week he tried to order two main courses for himself. He was really put out when I told him the day he’s paying he can two main courses

This really needs tackled.

I have a 16 year old. She’s FAR from perfect but this morning she went to make herself breakfast and upon realising it was the last bagel asked if I wanted it rather than just assume she could have it.

WhatifIfeellikeacat · 19/07/2020 12:28

If I have to keep something for a party or just for a special occasion then I hide those products. Can't even trust DH. I tell him like a few times and then he will tell me that I didn't tell him. Some people have a very selective hearing.

honeylulu · 19/07/2020 12:30

@Stannisbaratheonsboxofmatches

I don’t think that eating a lot is a problem as such - as others have said they are always hungry and growing.

It’s the ploughing through “luxury” or convenient items that’s the problem. Anything that doesn’t require preparation just being hoovered up because they can’t be bother to make a sandwich, get some cereal etc. I think that’s the problem and he needs to know that somethings are off limit or need to be shared.

Yes, exactly this! This is what is greedy and selfish.

Teenage boys have a huge appetite and teenagers are naturally self centred while their brains are rewiring, but it doesn't mean they should get away with hoovering down ALL the treats. Treat foods are often not very healthy in large quantities and they should not make up the bulk of someone's diet.

My 15 year old son is like this and it drives us bonkers. He used to take colossal amounts of snack foods that were meant to be shared or for packed lunches over x weeks up to his room and scoff them all. He knew he wasn't meant to either as he'd hide the wrappers behind furniture or under the floorboards (another bugbear - we don't want to attract vermin).

Even more irritatingly, he would then pick at his healthy balanced meals and also turn his nose up at the notion of eating leftovers and cheaper "fillers" like toast or sandwiches. It was always processed, packaged salty/ sugary stuff he was "so hungry" for. He's also chubby and was getting chubbier so we knew it wasn't always actual hunger as he was clearly stuffing in more calories than his body needed.

A few things have helped. We have been clear about what is off limits because it's earmarked, or if not then what his designated share is. If he "offends" then he gets a £1 fine from his weekly allowance of £20 each time it happens. The first week he ended up with only £6! That was quite a wake up call. The fine is the same even if it would be cheaper to replace the item as it is a penalty for causing inconvenience and being inconsiderate.

He can have as many cheap fillers as he wants though interestingly he's suddenly not as "hungry" and is looking a bit leaner.