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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Greedy teenager

213 replies

Brownthomas · 19/07/2020 00:07

I remember being a teenager and I was very self centered & preoccupatied.

Our 15 year old is out of control with food. He is average weight etc but needs to eat everything in the house.

Today I asked him not to eat the food for his brothers birthday party this week, but I didn’t mention the drinks .,,, I’ve just found a 12 pack of Capri sun demolished in his bedroom.

They don’t even that good Hmm I have to specifically ask him or else he eats all the food in the house

OP posts:
Surviving1 · 19/07/2020 10:02

When my brother was a teenager he ate so, so much. He had a 2 course, cooked school lunch. Mum always cooked a huge tea and cooked/baked a pudding. At about 7 every evening he would persuade me to walk to the Chip Shop with him so he could buy & eat a portion of chips and gravy. He wasn't fat and he was a fantastic athlete. Extraordinary.

15 is old enough to know that his brother's party is more important than his own teenage belly - even if he is hungry and particularly if he is simply being greedy. Time for him to start acting like a man and not a naughty boy who pinches from the biscuit tin.

JosephineDeBeauharnais · 19/07/2020 10:05

I agree it’s not unusual for teenagers to be like this, I’d have gone nuts about the drinks and doughnuts as it’s so selfish. You shouldn’t have to hide or not buy treats but maybe that’s the only answer right now.
When my two DS were teens I’d buy a load of treats (like twixes, Mars bars etc) once a week, fill up the tin and step back. When they were gone, they were gone. They did learn to moderate in time.
Their appetites were frightening though, and when DS1 would bring half a dozen rugby mates home to crash at ours after boozing on a Saturday night I’d get up on a Sunday morning and do a panic run to the supermarket for cooked breakfast supplies to feed a small army. It was astonishing how much they could eat.
DH has two bros and he says they would come in from school and eat a whole loaf between them before tea.

damnthatanxiety · 19/07/2020 10:08

I get really cross when my older sons do that as my younger daughter doesn't. But when she goes to have some and it's all fine, she gets really upset. I am concerned she will develop 'eat it all while you can whether you want it or not ' mentality and develop unhealthy attitudes to treat foods.

CherryValanc · 19/07/2020 10:12

Beiing 'starving' and eating lots regularly is normal teenage (boy) behaviour.

Eating everything, secretly, knowing it's not all for them or without thinking of others not so much normal behaviour.

Being teenager can involve being self-centered but consideration what they need to learn about. It's not so much about how much they eat or eating it all. Its things like checking first- who or what a not often bought food is for. Also informing or replacing if something has been finished.

I think social conditioning cause girls to be taught this at an earlier age. A 'boys will be boys' attitude mean boys get to teenage years unaware of it.

OP why might he do it so secretly?

SarahTancredi · 19/07/2020 10:16

Is this really normal?

Literally neither me or any of my school friends did this. And we would either have been punished by our parents or never invited back.

Are these teenagers the ones who grow up and become all these husbands we read about on MN who eat all the food and embarrass their wives at buffets and snaffle their wives dinner off her plate if she has to go sort the kids out half way through dinner?

I'd make him pay for all the stuff that needs replacing and if he wants snacks he can cook a batch of something healthy and filling that eveeyone can share.

If he won't then he's not hungry he's just bored and selfish.

RickOShay · 19/07/2020 10:24

I also have a hungry teenage caterpillar. @cricketmum84 what kind of snacks do you have?

MoggyMittens23 · 19/07/2020 10:30

The doughnuts thing is outrageously selfish and greedy! Surely people call don’t just think “oh that’s teenage boys for you”?!

TwentyViginti · 19/07/2020 10:31

Are these teenagers the ones who grow up and become all these husbands we read about on MN who eat all the food and embarrass their wives at buffets and snaffle their wives dinner off her plate if she has to go sort the kids out half way through dinner?

Quite possibly!

cricketmum84 · 19/07/2020 10:31

Haha @RickOShay best things I have found are super noodles, mug shots, a full fruit bowl, pasta n sauce sachets, lots of milk, kenco iced coffee sachets, fridged bags of carrot batons with different varieties of hummous, low salt crisps, juice based ice lollies or ice pops. We have a chocolate biscuit tin with Kit Kat's etc but it's one visit per day. She also loves making her own ramen or a pasta with homemade tomato sauce.

My teen is trans so biologically male and has the typical teen boy hollow legs. She doesn't eat breakfast but has 2 good meals a day and then the snacks around it, she is almost 16 and she is 7 stone so definitely not overeating. They just grow so fast at this stage that they need the extra fuel! Plus she is very active and does a lot of walking and running.

corythatwas · 19/07/2020 10:37

I think social conditioning cause girls to be taught this at an earlier age. A 'boys will be boys' attitude mean boys get to teenage years unaware of it.

This. And then you get unhappy posters in Relationships posting that their husband seems so selfish, they can't understand why.

If we accept that it is a boy thing to be selfish and not consider other people, then we shouldn't be surprised if grown men have a tendency not to consider other people either.

Georgieporgie29 · 19/07/2020 10:40

My 15yo DS can eat, same as others he has hollow legs. However, he has to ask for food and can’t just take it. Does nobody else have this rule? I’ve always said ask for treats but fruit is fair game, he still asks before taking that though.

RickOShay · 19/07/2020 10:40

@cricketmum84
Thank you Smile
Mine also loves an iced coffee!
He’s learnt to make popcorn (sort of), and he also is partial to those little veggie scotch eggs, but they are expensive.
It’s honestly a mission every day to keep him ticking over, and he has put weight on over lockdown, so we are trying to make better choices.

Sexnotgender · 19/07/2020 10:41

Fucking tired of the whole boys will be boys shit. This is selfish greedy behaviour.

Yes teenagers (boys and girls) need a heck of a lot of calories to fuel their growth spurts. But troughing all the treats and leaving none for the rest of the family is unacceptable.

Cam2020 · 19/07/2020 10:44

How can other posters tell whether the Op's child is not greedy? How is a 12 pack of capri sun linked to being hungry? It sounds to me more of an example of mindless consuming. He may well be a growing teenage boy with hollow legs or he might be fixing boredom with consuming? It's impossible to tell. He might be an average weight now, but depending on what he's eating that doesn't necessarily make what he's doing healthy. If he's eating for something to do, that's also setting up bad habits for life,which could lead to obesity and health issues further down the line.

I'd just say make sure he's getting a good combination of the food groups, good protein and good fats to help him stay full and have healthy snacks to hand.

Nottherealslimshady · 19/07/2020 10:46

If he's not overweight then he's not overeating though is he, he clearly needs the food. Just keep more cheaper, filling foods in. Noodles and pasta packs sort of thing. Teenagers need a lot of food.

RoseDog · 19/07/2020 10:47

DS has foods he is allowed to help himself too, rolls, wraps, cheese, ham, he wouldn't eat all the snacks as he oddly doesn't have a particularly sweet tooth, I've found making an extra portion of tea dinner helps so he can have that for lunch the next day.

He knows that chocolate and crisps are just empty calories and prefers something more substantial.

I've also used lockdown to try and teach him how to cook filling things for himself but that's mostly been a fail Hmm

dottiedodah · 19/07/2020 10:48

It sounds like normal behaviour that he is always hungry.However drinking so many drinks meant for a party is selfish and unthinking .Get some more and hide them! Tell him if he is hungry /thirsty plenty of healthy snacks avaliable : Wholemeal bread with Marmite ,Peanut butter/ Dairylea ,drink water ,squash /milk!

cricketmum84 · 19/07/2020 10:49

@RickOShay the kenco sachets are way cheaper than buying the ready made ones. You only need to add cold water and shake up and she really likes them. I think they are something like £1.50 for 6!

Spanishmama0114 · 19/07/2020 10:52

I don't think the issue is that he's greedy, most teenagers will eat you out of house and home, I'd be furious that he did something you specifically asked him not to. That shows a huge lack of respect

SarahTancredi · 19/07/2020 10:55

If he's not overweight then he's not overeating though is he, he clearly needs the food. Just keep more cheaper, filling foods in. Noodles and pasta packs sort of thing. Teenagers need a lot of food

Doesn't mean they can't still be extremely unhealthy just because they aren't overweight externally . What's going on inside might not be what appears to be going on outside.

WorraLiberty · 19/07/2020 10:56

@Sexnotgender

Fucking tired of the whole boys will be boys shit. This is selfish greedy behaviour.

Yes teenagers (boys and girls) need a heck of a lot of calories to fuel their growth spurts. But troughing all the treats and leaving none for the rest of the family is unacceptable.

This ^^

"Teenage boys have hollow legs"

"Teenage boys eat their weight in food"

"Teenage boys inhale their food"

What a load of sexist, greed enabling bollocks.

Having a large appetite gives no-one the right to take more than their fair share when there are other people to consider.

And as for "I have to hide treats in my house". Yes because that's a better solution than raising them with an ounce of consideration for others Hmm

maddiemookins16mum · 19/07/2020 10:58

I never get the whole ‘that’s what teens do’ thing. It plain greed. If any of us had done that, we’d have been in big trouble.
But then MN seems to believe it’s fine for teens to simply eat constantly, I still recall the thread about teens coming back from their dads after having a fish/chip tea and someone suggesting the mum whipped up a cottage pie for supper...wtf.

nagynolonger · 19/07/2020 11:01

I've raised five teenage boys and what you describe is normal IMO. You have to buy more food and good food that fills them up. If they are active and growing more carbs will do no harm. Obviously plenty of fruit and veg too.

The party drinks was a bit off but I've had to hide treats, and in the end put a lock on a cupboard to stop this kind of thing. They do grow out of it.

CoRhona · 19/07/2020 11:02

@OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow

All those people saying “it’s a growth thing,it’ll stop” We were discussing yesterday how weird it was when our grown up son (finally) moved out and you could still find food in the fridge and cupboards the day after you bought it!
We usually buy 12 pints of milk, three loaves of bread, 72 Weetabix, etc etc for our three teens - we are in for a shock when these won't be consumed within a few days!!
corythatwas · 19/07/2020 11:09

And as for "I have to hide treats in my house". Yes because that's a better solution than raising them with an ounce of consideration for others

THIS