To be utterly exasperated with the ‘but she’s really friendly’ dog owners out there

[Flamingolingo]

You know the kind - the ones who holler after their bounding dog who barks and bows and jumps at you about how friendly they are.

I feel like since lockdown I’ve had multiple altercations with people and their marauding dogs. Especially either while out running or out with my small children who are terrified.

That’s not to say there aren’t loads of really responsible dog owners out there who do try and call their dog back/put it on the lead, but the few who make no attempt other than shout about their friendliness really get my goat. For clarity: we are mostly using city centre green space, that is quite busy, I think in a rural location it’s a little different.

So I guess my Aibu is about my being annoyed at people who assume everyone wants their ‘friendly’ dog to bound into their social space, and who make no attempt to call their dog back unless specifically asked to.

YANBU, the ‘but she’s so cute she’s my baby, everyone else must feel the same’ dog owners drive me NUTS. I don’t like dogs much actually, I don’t hate them! But I don’t want to stroke a strangers dog... & my 2 young children are also scared. Makes me feel awkward & obliged to go ‘awww’ 🙄 YANBU! At all!

No you absolutely are not. Owner of an old, tired dog. Sick to the back teeth of “friendly” dogs harassing her. Would be even worse if she were my granny.

Keep your “friendly” dogs to yourselves. Other people don’t like them.

I would actually quite like to get a dog. But I don’t want an additional reason for other people’s dogs to approach us. We would be expected to let our dog play with their “friendly” dog all the time and it would drive me mad

I have dogs who are off-lead every day, but their recall is decent (one's is very good, the other is going deaf). I usually know exactly where they are unless we're on very quiet paths when the younger one might go round a corner ahead of me (and will be stopped on the whistle). We live semi-rurally, so it's easy to get away from people, but if it's busy, if there are people we don't know, or horses, or bikes, they get called in.

There's no need to keep dogs on-lead all the time if they're decently trained and whoever is walking them is aware of where they are and what they are up to, and can stop untoward behaviour before it starts. However, to decently train a puppy you have to work around distractions, and drop the longline, and now and then things will go wrong. But 99% of the time, there is no excuse for out of control dogs. Believe me, they're not popular with responsible dog owners either: I had my fingers skinned once when a Lab with no recall came rushing over to my half-trained dog and she raced up to it, dragging the longline through my hand.

pisses me right off , if my kids want to stroke a dog they ask first, its respectful what is not respectful is having a dog with no recall of a lead its a danger to children and other dogs, my children luckily are not scared of dog but have been knocked over many a time by huge off lead dogs, many on our park that doesn't allow dogs(playing field yes play bit no) , leash your dogs ffs !!! there are some ace dogs and owners around that can have their dogs of a lead and should if they walk by your side / come back when you call but if they dont stop it especially massive dogs, im 5'1 its intimating when ive got all 3 kids with me x

GrumpyMiddleAgedWoman

I think most people give puppies more leeway, they have to learn.

@Blueberryham

I would actually quite like to get a dog. But I don’t want an additional reason for other people’s dogs to approach us. We would be expected to let our dog play with their “friendly” dog all the time and it would drive me mad

Your dog would be just as keen, if not keener. It’s called socialisation. Ours has her own circle of friends, quite independent of us.

[quote Notredamn ]Yanbu if I want a dog near me or my children then I will get one. We don't like them. [/quote]
This.
We don't like dogs. We don't think your dog is cute when he comes bounding over, sniffing us, pooing on the giant sandcity we've just spent the last hour building (yes, I am still bitter ).
I have never expected other people to be happy with my children climbing all over them/sniffing their crotches/licking them when they're out in a park whilst I stand a little way back giggling at the utter cuteness of it all. Why do you think I'm happy for your dog to do just that?

I don't mind your dog when it's with you but I don't want it near me. Keep it under control.. And, another subject but whilst I'm at it, I have also never left a filled nappy bag hanging off a tree branch whilst out on a ramble so I don't want to see your dog crap hanging up in a bit of plastic either.

And relax... Thanks, feel better for that

I had a few choice words for an older couple who let their Labrador come bounding up to my 2 year old nearly knocking her over. Off the leash in an area which had a lot of young children around. They didn't respond no apology just complete ignorance. Yanbu

YANBU, we have many lovely dog owners who use the park near us, then there’s always that one prick who lets their dog run riot, bounding up to other dogs (who are minding their own business) winding them up, jumping and slobbering over children. Ugh, they’re the worst. So entitled. Anyone who does the ‘oh he’s friendly’ will get a ‘well, I am not’ in reply from me from now on as I am sick of it.

Of course dogs shouldn’t approach other people. It works the other way too. People including children should not approach my dog. He doesn’t like people he doesn’t know. He doesn’t want to be fussed over. He wants to be left alone to sniff.

Yanbu, I work with people with intellectual disabilities and one particular lady is terrified of dogs. She will run in to the road or wherever to get away from them. One particular day we were walking along the riverbank when a dog came running (friendly but off the lead), I called to the owner as my client went running in direction of river and owner was like oh it's ok he wouldn't hurt a fly . That's great but she's terrified can you catch him. Managed to get my client away from side of river and stand between her and dog. Dog wasn't at fault, all he wanted was a rub.

I agree with what you've said OP.

However being 'unreasonable for letting your dog run past people' is laughable. On a field, if they do not approach the people but simply run past them? Seriously? What are they supposed to do form an orderly queue?

I once ran into a woman with six dogs all off lead. They came runnig over to me and my ds who has learning disabilities and autism and is terrified of dogs. I stood in front of him and asked her to deal with them. She eventually caught up with them and called them. She then told me one of the dogs was deaf. She did not attempt to put any of them on the lead. I was very pissed off with her.

Ahh you’ve all made me feel a lot better. I was a bit shaken after our encounter. Maybe wasn’t my finest moment - but I wasn’t rude/abusive, just very firm. It escalated a bit, and I always wonder if it’s because I’m a small woman having a go. My DH (all 6’1” of him) says he never gets any trouble. But I just think my children have a right to walk in the local (end of our street) park without being attacked.

It’s nuts, letting your dog run up to people who are scared (which could be anyone) isn’t good for your dog the vibes and the possible reactions could scare the dog, or make them chase someone because they think it’s a game. I had a large dog (golden retriever) big soft lump who wouldn’t hurt a fly but I never let him approach anyone adult, kid or dog as you just never know with either and it’s not fair on both or responsible as a dog owner.

This really annoys me,the don't worry he's friendly. I'm not worried or scared,I don't mind dogs. I hate being jumped up on, also when I'm out for a walk /run it's my time and space( especially during lockdown) and I don't want it rudely interrupted!

No dog should approach a person or even another dog even if it is just to have a sniff and walk off. A dog that does this isn’t in control.
A dog that ignores people and other dogs and animals with excellent recall is fine - unfortunately these are very rare.

You are so right OP! Those 'oh shes really friendly' dog owners are the absolute worst!

@hibbledobble

Where are all these marauding dogs?! I don't see them. Is it perhaps that you are hypersensitive due to you and your children's phobia? It's worth working on that, as dogs are everywhere.

One of them bit me yesterday and I spent my Friday evening in A&E waiting for a tetanus shot .

Completely unprovoked, dog was off the lead and ran up to me and bit me. The owner seemed crosser with me than she was with the dog

OP YANBU. Dogs are the pits, friendly or not. I hate them. Smelly, slobbery and dirty. Do no understand the appeal!

I started dating someone once and after a few dates we went on a walk with his massive and lively dog. He let the dog off the lead in a field that was signposted 'dogs must be kept on leads' and didn't even call the dog when it bounded up to people barking aggressively. I turned around and went straight home. Mortifying.

The other side of 'don't worry, he's friendly', is the 'well, he's never reacted to anybody like this before!' while staring accusingly at you. As their darling dog stands there, hackles raised, growling at you. So it's your fault that their dog has suddenly turned into a dangerous nutbar, because we all know that animals and children have a sixth sense about who is good and who is bad.

MN hates dogs.

It's really strange, because puppies have been the best selling item this lockdown, second only to loo roll.

Just wait when all of them start going for walkies.

I'm very fond of dogs.

I'm about as fond of other people's dogs as I am of other people's kids.

Well controlled, well mannered, I love 'em.

Otherwise, I don't. And I don't want to be bothered by them.

'well, he's never reacted to anybody like this before!' while staring accusingly at you.

Because now you've mentioned it, when the blood flow was undeniable, that may well have been the dog-owner's 3rd useless remark/action.

That's what was additionally so unexpected about the attack on DH. He's a modern-day Francis of Assisi. He walks down a street and dogs and cats queue up to greet him or wind round his ankles to the point where he's walking bow-legged to avoid the twining things from bumping into each other. He stops for a moment and butterflies etc. settle on him in whatever the correct collective noun is. If he goes to a butterfly house he ends up covered and children think he's some bizarre living sculpture or Moth Man.