To be utterly exasperated with the ‘but she’s really friendly’ dog owners out there

[Flamingolingo]

You know the kind - the ones who holler after their bounding dog who barks and bows and jumps at you about how friendly they are.

I feel like since lockdown I’ve had multiple altercations with people and their marauding dogs. Especially either while out running or out with my small children who are terrified.

That’s not to say there aren’t loads of really responsible dog owners out there who do try and call their dog back/put it on the lead, but the few who make no attempt other than shout about their friendliness really get my goat. For clarity: we are mostly using city centre green space, that is quite busy, I think in a rural location it’s a little different.

So I guess my Aibu is about my being annoyed at people who assume everyone wants their ‘friendly’ dog to bound into their social space, and who make no attempt to call their dog back unless specifically asked to.

[quote OchonAgusOchonO]**@cuntryclub* - I hate that dog owners think it's their choice whether their dog can approach me/my children and not mine.*

And I hate that parents think it's their choice where their child can approach my dog and not mine.[/quote]

I wasn't putting one against the other? I literally do not think dogs should approach me or my children. Equally I have never allowed myself children to approach a strange dog. Why do you assume that I do?

YANBU and I say that as the owner of a big bouncy friendly dog. There’s no way of you knowing that though as she tears towards you, tongue flapping in the wind.

My motto is you should never have to interact with my dog unless you choose to. I was afraid of dogs as a child so I’m extra careful to make sure she’s on a very short lead when walking near people.

YANBU I grew up with dogs, I’m not afraid of them until they run at full pace barking and jumping at me when I’m out running.
I also can’t stand the he’s friendly, I even saw a collar/harness hung that said friendly dog. I don’t like other people’s dogs, I don’t want their slobber, hair and muddy paws on me or them jumping up on my children.
Not to mention all the dog poo on paths or hanging from bushes in bags it’s disgusting.

I’m a dog owner, have had a dogs my whole life, our dogs have never been allowed off lead even when their recall is spot on.
I have had one dog that has been attacked 3 times for no reason and apparently all 3 were friendly dogs who hadn’t done it before!
I think all dogs should be on leads at all times and their should be designated dog paddocks for owners to go to who want their dogs off lead.

I think you're being a bit unreasonable. Dogs do need to be excercised off lead - granted I live in the suburbs and walk my dog through the forest, he is always off lead unless there are horses or deer about.

He will happily run past everyone without so much as a sniff at them - but I still get people shouting that they (an adult) are scared of dogs, even when he has gone straight past them!

I don't agree with dogs jumping up at people or kids but I can see how it happens if kids or adults start squeaking in fear the dog wants to see what's going on.

I don't know why people can't just carry on walking if the dog is ignoring them, carrying on straight past & not jumping up etc. There shouldn't be a reason for well behaved 'friendly' dogs (who also like to run around) to be kept on a lead at all times around others as previous posters have suggested.

Yanbu if I want a dog near me or my children then I will get one. We don't like them.

My son loved dogs until a large one bounded up, put front paws on his shoulders, and slobbered all over his face, while the twat owner went "he's just being friendly".

Thing is, if I go to the park for a couple hours, around 100 dogs will be passing through. Only need 1% of owners to be crap for that to mean encountering an out-of-control dog a day.

DD and I love dogs so manage to shield D's from them, but special ire is reserved for the owners who bring their dogs into the public gardens or cafe forecourt despite the signs saying Dogs Not Allowed.

If you fear your dog will be stolen if you tie him to the railings ten yards away, then sit outside the dog-free zone. Yes, posh blonde mum of Hugo who built a wonderful mansion in Minecraft yesterday, that means you and your friend.

Your dogs were adorable but shouldn't have been off-lead and pushing through groups of small kids queuing for ice-cream!

@cuntryclub - I literally do not think dogs should approach me or my children. Equally I have never allowed myself children to approach a strange dog. Why do you assume that I do?

I absolutely agree with you that a dog should not approach someone without permission of both the person and owner. I also think people should not approach dogs without the owner's permission.

I never said, or thought for that matter, that you would allow your children to approach a dog uninvited. I also hope that you don't assume I would allow my dogs to approach people uninvited. I was merely pointing out that there are plenty of rude, inconsiderate people about and that it works both ways.

I would say that, in my local park at least, the number of parents who allow their children to approach dogs is far higher than dog owners who allow their dogs to approach people.

If your dog is under effective voice control and you can ensure that your dog will not approach a person, then sure, exercise it off lead. That includes if people start 'squeaking' or running, because they're scared of dogs. The law protects the people in these instances, so best protect your dog.

Totally agree OP - I have two dogs & a toddler, my dogs are never allowed off lead because their recall isn’t reliable.

Was in park with grandparents & toddler practicing her walking & one dog when a large black dog bounded about 100m from its owner (we were on an athletics track!). Grandpa was blocking it from getting to toddler whilst I was trying to stop dogs from going ballistic in full on snarling defence. Owner casually ignored its behaviour but dog retreated at speed when I let my terrier get a little nearer.... but none of us should have been in that position😡

I believe that all dogs should be kept on a lead in public places. It is just not fair on other people or on other dogs. I am a dog owner and wouldn't dream of letting my dog off the lead in a public place.

There are several reasons to keep your dog on a lead - if it runs off how do you know where it does its business? Many people are frightened of dogs so its not fair on them. Its not good for wildlife - many birds nest on the ground for example. Also, my friends dog ate something poisonous while off the lead and had to be put to sleep. Please keep your dog on a lead for everyone's benefit!

I am terrified of dogs, always have been. What makes it worse is I can't trust a lot of dog owners to understand. The stock response is 'Oh he won't hurt you' or upon learning of my fear 'Ah my dog would cure you, she's the softest thing ever'

Unfortunately these responses make the fear worse as it reinforces to me that most dog owners will let their dog near me and expect I will be ok, as it's their dog and therefore different.

A fear is a fear. A dog can be smaller than my cat but I'll still be scared of it. I wouldn't introduce a pet tarantula to someone with arachnophobia and say 'Oh but you'll like MY spider'.

Unfortunately most dog owners who I have asked to keep their dog away from me, seem offended and even almost cross - although I always ask politely. And given my fear, I never go to places where dogs may be off leads unexpectedly (parks/rural walks/non dog free beaches etc) so it's not as if I'm being difficult in expecting dogs to be under control in a shop/pub/crowded street etc.

I'm looking into therapy before I have kids as I really dont want to pass on my fear and I want to be able to take them to the countryside without worrying. Dog owners, in general, could do a lot more to help however.

@hibbledobble

Where are all these marauding dogs?! I don't see them. Is it perhaps that you are hypersensitive due to you and your children's phobia? It's worth working on that, as dogs are everywhere.

There's definitely been an increase in the numbers of dogs out in my area, and a good proportion of the owners are crap at controlling them, don't put them on a lead and don't apologise.

I think it's related to the rise in people with feelings of entitlement, actually.

This is a bug bear if mine. I'm not interested in whether random dogs at the park are "friendly" or "fine with children", I want their owners to train them properly so they have good recall, and if not, keep them on a lead. The worst is the owners who chuckle indulgently whilst their dog sniffs around our picnic, or approach one the DC. Urgh. I like dogs if I know them, not random dogs when out and about though

I raise you “she’s really friendly” with “he never does that”. Well he just did in front of both of us 🙄🙄

I don't expect everybody to like my kids or to want them crawling all over them.

However, I have had people expecting me to adore their darling wee offspring crawling over our booth and under our table in a charming game of hide and seek at Pizza Express.

Both children and dogs should be under effective control at all times. But the children weren't at risk of loss of their life if they bit me, the dogs would be.

YANBU

I am very allergic to dogs. My friends dog licked my leg and I came up in a rash immediately. I was a bit as she knows I'm allergic so I don't know why she brought the dog to our catch up. I think she thought that because we were meeting for a coffee outside it wouldn't be a problem but it really was.

I've also noticed that people now seem to think it's ok to take dogs into shops. Particularly the out of town outlet villages. Why are they walking dogs around clothes shops?! Completely entitled attitude I think.

Yes this annoys me... I've noticed how much so now I have youngest DS.
The amount of people who have let their dogs come bounding over and jump up at his pushchair is ridiculous - he likes looking at dogs don't get me wrong but he doesn't want them in his face and either do I.

Same if I let him walk.. Some stupid woman let her dog come running over and knocked him over (it came from behind so by time I knew it was there too late to grab him)

This one was friendly and loves children too yes it might but it was taller then DS (he is one),

YANBU. I have always had dogs, but am of the opinion that it’s my job to make sure they don’t impact on anyone else’s life and certainly don’t interact with other people unless invited to. We have both people who are terrified of dogs and some who are seriously allergic in our family, so perhaps that’s why this is more important to us as a family.

I was in our local park yesterday and it was absolutely heaving with small children and an inordinate amount of out of control ‘lock-down’ puppies, charging everywhere, chasing children, running up to dogs that were on the lead, pooing miles from their owners, so mess just being left and not picked up. Absolute nightmare. Thankfully I didn’t have my dog with me at the time.

I have had rescue dogs who were terrified of other dogs and one who never recovered from being leaped on by a large, boisterous, adult dog when he was a pup. With him, I had to give up walking in the park that is thirty seconds from my house and drive to quieter places or hire private dog walking fields, as every single walk we’d get the ‘It’s ok, he’s friendly’ brigade, people whose dogs are literally on the opposite side of the park to them and those would would allow their off lead dogs to approach and leap all over mine, even when I repeatedly asked them not to.

If you want to have your dogs off lead in a public place, recall, ‘emergency stop’ and ‘leave’ are three of the most important things you can teach them. With those things properly trained, you can avoid pretty much any situation where either your dog may bother or frighten someone - or eat their picnic. Not to mention any one of the three might save your dog’s life one day.

Unfortunately, there has been a massive increase in people taking on dogs over lockdown, with the perfect storm of limited socialisation and no training clubs to attend. So the end result was bound to be parks full of out of control dogs. I am another one dreading the inevitable fall out from this for both the dogs and the people around them.

[quote OchonAgusOchonO]**@Flamingolingo* - Or the worst ‘oh but he just really loves small children’ as their enormous dog bounds over and my (ridiculous) children run screaming away*

As a dog owner I completely agree with you. If your dog isn't under total control, keep it on a lead.

However, from a dog owner's perspective, I get really exasperated with the parents who let their kids annoy dogs. Neither of my dogs will approach people. However, they're relatively small and extremely cute (not that I'm biased). The number of parents who just let their kids start petting them uninvited is astonishing. Obviously not all parents. I had a small child of about 3 or 4 ask me politely today if she could rub my dog and she waited until I said she could.[/quote]
Same. Ours is 5kg of attitude, friendliness and gorgeousness and a total child magnet. She’s not fussed about kids, she likes other dogs but they all home in on her. Like you, I really appreciate it when they ask if they can make a fuss of her.

This drives me mad too. My child is scared of dogs because so many large dogs have approached us in both friendly and unfriendly ways. Sometimes they bark aggressively at us and we are told by the owner that they are frightened of the bikes/skateboard etc. But it’s not ok to bark aggressively at small children though is it? It’s not our fault we didn’t approach your dog? I have no idea what the answer is. What is the best thing to say Politely which might help?

He will happily run past everyone without so much as a sniff at them - but I still get people shouting that they (an adult) are scared of dogs, even when he has gone straight past them!

You are completely unreasonable to allow your dog to run past others and even more so when they’ve indicated that they are scared of dogs. You realise that you’re the sort of owner we’re all talking about here, don’t you? As soon as there is anyone else about you should have your dog under close control. If not, get it on a fucking lead.

Even just saying “can you get your dog under control please?” Seems kind on inflammatory. So I just don’t know what to do really. Also there seems to be an undertone that people who don’t like dogs are lesser people and being frightened of dogs is a flaw. Which is really unfair

Can't wait for everybody and their kids to bugger off to school and to their offices so I can finally have some peace and quiet with my friendly non marauding dogs in the parks. Works both ways, OP.

If only the people who want a peaceful walk without dogs approaching them could have a non dog day sometime in the future. Unfortunately we never get any rest from it.