To be utterly exasperated with the ‘but she’s really friendly’ dog owners out there

[Flamingolingo]

You know the kind - the ones who holler after their bounding dog who barks and bows and jumps at you about how friendly they are.

I feel like since lockdown I’ve had multiple altercations with people and their marauding dogs. Especially either while out running or out with my small children who are terrified.

That’s not to say there aren’t loads of really responsible dog owners out there who do try and call their dog back/put it on the lead, but the few who make no attempt other than shout about their friendliness really get my goat. For clarity: we are mostly using city centre green space, that is quite busy, I think in a rural location it’s a little different.

So I guess my Aibu is about my being annoyed at people who assume everyone wants their ‘friendly’ dog to bound into their social space, and who make no attempt to call their dog back unless specifically asked to.

Mine is dog friendly.. (14m) so if I see a dog I don't know I recall her, clip her on and only if they say ok, so I let her go. If I see any children, I clip her on immediately.. she doesn't go up to strangers, children or adults as she is timid but I don't want to risk them coming up to my dog and scaring her any more than I want my dog to scare them.
It's basic manners.. and I'd never have her loose in a public park! She's not food orientated but if someone was waving a pepperami around she might change her mind...

YANBU This is why my dog is always on a lead because he's a friendly little bugger who won't come back when called. He's knows to come back but he's also a defiant little sod.

Yep. Really pisses me off.

Neighbours dog used to jump up at me in the morning as I was getting in my car. Many times I had to go back in and get changed because I had slobber and mud on me.

I asked her to stop the dog. She said “oh she’s just being friendly”. Great. But I don’t want to be friends with a muddy dog?

YANBU at all - I'm currently in Wales, and on the beach the other day a large dog with no recall whatsoever knocked 3-year-old DS over and the tried to jump on/lick my 5-month-old nephew who was lying on a towel. Cue both children crying, whilst the owner smiled happily and shouted " he's only playing, he won't hurt you".

@excuseforfights I usually ask first but often a dog comes right up to me, sniffing me or climbing my legs. Do I need to ask permission then?

Of course not but the dog shouldn't be up close and personal with you without being invited by you and given permission by the owner.

but it won’t be my kids, they’re too busy running away

Then the owners will blame your children for triggering their dog to chase.
My dad used to get on my nerves with his protectiveness of his young grandchildren, but I loved the way he terrified local, irresponsible owners to the point they’d avoid us, leash their animals and move to a safe distance.

@PicsInRed

YANBU - dogs should be kept on leash unless stated otherwise. 😡

Yanbu. And many owners are clueless as to dog body language. I've had people bellowing from across the park "Don't worry, he only wants to play" as their dog is bracing in front of mine with a direct stare and a slowly waving tail. Yeah, right. I've seen what play looks like, and that isn't it.

YANBU and I say that as someone who has been around dogs almost all their life.

I cannot stand badly behaved dogs (or horses or children). Sadly so many owners just haven’t trained their dog properly (usually because they’d rather their dog loved them than respected them) and they think it’s ok to let their dog jump up, chase other animals, roam around and be a pain in the arse or whatever. Usually these owners will give a half#hearted “Don’t do that” but never ensure the dog stops and understands it shouldn’t do that, or they just think it’s cute/funny.

These people should not own a bloody dog.

YADNBU! I own 2 dogs, both rescue greyhounds. One utterly terrified of everything. When we initially got him he would walk happily. However one too many encounters with out of control ‘he just wants to play’ dogs put him off going passed our driveway. He was literally terrified to leave the house.

We ended up with a second grey to try and help him.

@PicsInRed will you come for a walk with me please? Because my quoting the dangerous dogs act seems to be problematic.

@Cattiwampus yes I get that is an issue too, I just wanted to clarify that I’m talking about a busy place, not a wide open space where you might not expect to see many other people.

Doesn’t help that my 5yo has ASD so we will be talking about the ‘man with the dog who wouldn’t stop barking’ for the next 3 days

@x2boys

And by contrast I get pissed off with children wanting to stroke my very cute friends Beagle who is then liable.to try and jump.up,it works both ways..

Agreed, all children should be taught to ask and wait.

Remember when we were in Wales when my son was little and he was TERRIFIED of dogs then. A dalmatian bounded up to him and it completely overwhelmed him and he was hysterical. Asked the owners to put it on a lead and they responded with 'Your child shouldn't be so neurotic' (He is autistic but regardless they were rude af)

@LolaSkoda - Neighbours dog used to jump up at me in the morning as I was getting in my car. Many times I had to go back in and get changed because I had slobber and mud on me.

Our neighbours had a completely untrained black lab who was allowed roam. We live out the country so no street lights. Arriving home in the dark to have this enormous black shadow jump on you was not fun. I did complain the time he knocked me to the ground but I might as well have spoken to the wall.

I had one hound come bounding up to me, bigger than I am, when on it's back paws, and go to leap up on me - I'm afraid my automatic response was to put my knee up to get the dog down. That didn't go down terribly well with the owner. I could have hurt poor dear Dobbin, who wouldn't hurt a fly, and I was discriminating against him because of his size.

I'm scared of dogs and find that many dog owners just think I'm weird and stupid. I think many dog owners are completely irresponsible letting them off the lead in areas where they should be on a lead and not clearing up after their dog.

Of course YANBU. As with so many things in life, it’s the minority of idiots with untrained, disobedient, out of control dogs who give the majority of responsible dog owners a bad name.

Keep your dog under control at ALL times. If you are incapable of training it to remain under proper control while off the lead, keep it on a lead.

You are not being unreasonable in that owners should be able to control their dogs. However, as a parent, it is your responsibility to ensure your children act appropriately around dogs. A child that screams is likely to provoke a dog to bark at them and a child that runs away is fun to a dog so they will chase. So both parties are unreasonable - the dog owner for not controlling their dogs and you for not controlling your children.

YANBU

Fucking sick of ignorant idiots like this. And I say that as a dog lover with two of my own. Mine have zero recall so they never go off the lead in public places. Ever.

If I had a quid for every time I've heard "he/she's friendly" I'd be rolling in it. Fortunately I've been blessed with resting bitch face and that, accompanied with a stony "yes, the last person that said that to me paid my £3 grand vets bill after their dog mauled mine" gets them backing off sharpish.

You are not supposed to have your dog off lead unless it's under control - and that means having excellent recall. If your dog won't come back when you call it, then keep it on the fucking lead.

@Obbydoo

You are not being unreasonable in that owners should be able to control their dogs. However, as a parent, it is your responsibility to ensure your children act appropriately around dogs. A child that screams is likely to provoke a dog to bark at them and a child that runs away is fun to a dog so they will chase. So both parties are unreasonable - the dog owner for not controlling their dogs and you for not controlling your children.

I said that the owner would blame your child for running, and behold!

If the dog is likely to chase, and is not under sufficiently effective voice control to be called off, perhaps the dog should be on a lead?

YADNBU my little 4 year old boy now has a fear of dogs after a giant 'puppy' came running up and jumped all over him eating a banana out his hand. His owner was apologetic 'he just likes children'.
Well now he is terrified of dogs. We live in a London borough (in a flat so going to parks is essential) near a huge beautiful park that we can't visit because there are dogs EVERYWHERE and usually off leads. The other day 20 dogs came past at once, all off leads!Their owners were clearly dog walkers. My DS was terrified, a lot of these dogs are nearly as big as he is.
It makes me so angry that we can't enjoy public spaces because of this and I wish it was against the law to have a dog off a lead in a public space.
It doesn't matter if you 'know your dog is friendly' either, the person he is running up to doesn't know that!

PicsInRedwill you come for a walk with me please? Because my quoting the dangerous dogs act seems to be problematic.

I think we'll only end up starting a riot