To be utterly exasperated with the ‘but she’s really friendly’ dog owners out there

[Flamingolingo]

You know the kind - the ones who holler after their bounding dog who barks and bows and jumps at you about how friendly they are.

I feel like since lockdown I’ve had multiple altercations with people and their marauding dogs. Especially either while out running or out with my small children who are terrified.

That’s not to say there aren’t loads of really responsible dog owners out there who do try and call their dog back/put it on the lead, but the few who make no attempt other than shout about their friendliness really get my goat. For clarity: we are mostly using city centre green space, that is quite busy, I think in a rural location it’s a little different.

So I guess my Aibu is about my being annoyed at people who assume everyone wants their ‘friendly’ dog to bound into their social space, and who make no attempt to call their dog back unless specifically asked to.

*by being told off is not one

At my local park/field lots of dog owners let their dogs off the lead,
One of my dogs (terrier type) gets very agitated when they see other dogs so is always on a lead as is my other dog, it realy winds me up as if their dog comes running over my terrier dog will snap at their dog as shes nervous, I shout this out the the owners but of course their dog doesnt have good recall skills so I'm left rangling three dogs while their owner comes jogging over to collect their dog. If their dog was on the lead my dog and their dog could sniff each other in a controlled way and my nervous dog would not have a panic and lash out,gets on my tits.

I do understand what you mean with that post Geneval but I was thinking about woodlands we go to often - ddog will run off into the undergrowth and we usually only encounter someone there once or twice in a whole week. She might go up for a sniff but her main concern is chasing squirrels. In that situation if a family turned up with a picnic and she smelt sausages, she could well wander over and we might not be immediately aware, but we would get her on the lead as soon as we were.

I think largely unpredictable behaviour is something dog owners do think about more than people without dogs. I could be wrong but most dog owners want to look after their dog, not put it in harm's way. It stands to reason that dogs are not always going to be on leads unless they are very nervous or have training to be done on behaviour when outdoors, particularly in open spaces.

As with children there will be some who have great manners and some who stick their fist in the cake before the candles are blown out, kick the birthday kid in the shins or swear like a trooper. Training does matter hugely. But those other kids will still always be there. So just as much as we don't let kids cross the road, we also make them aware other kids might not be nice but there are good ways to deal with those situations.

It has to be cooperation of behaviours rather than condemnation of either side.

@GenevaL I totally disagree with you and indeed, all breeders and vets have said that the earlier they are off the lead, the better behaved dogs become off it.

My dog is very sociable so will go to other dogs, on lead or off. Because she was introduced to it when still very little, she was still very close to me as not confident enough to be far off. She had pretty good recall from the start.

I of course always ascertain from the dog itself and master whether the dog might be one to stay away from but most are fine. He's been barked, growled and snapped at and he has learned this way that not all dogs are welcoming if his bounciness. That's absolutely fine.

I find that people with dogs on lead are anxious that they will be told off if their dog growl. I see it as part of socialising.

You talk about danger. No dangerous dog, ie, a dog that can bite should be walked without a muzzle, end of. You never know what can happen.

Puppy is now 6 months old and a very good social dog. If I see a dog that doesn't appear friendly and/or owner show sign not to approach, I'll call and he comes right away.

The process took 15 months but we have two dogs with absolutely brilliant recall
That same process took 2 months with mine allowing him to be off the lead from 9 weeks old.

Totally agree @JeSuisPoulet

As said already I haven't encountered any any of the animosity in real life that has been expressed here.

It's actually been the exact opposite, puppy coming to people having barbecues, me calling him but at first not always coming right back, me apologising and people laughing and saying it's fine and giving much fuss.

I do think the 'cute' factor probably does make a big difference though.

@dontdisturbmenow you will get these people and it can be a shock. I had one not so long ago where a husband shouted at me because his dog was playing with mine - the wife usually walks theirs and our two have often met. He was pretty vile and now we avoid that walk. Being a dog owner has a lot of plus points but, as with kids, it is often when you aren't expecting it that problems arise!

@OchonAgusOchonO yoh are so, so ignorant. Dogs are wild animals they can be violent and unpredictable - they can kill even older children if they turn. Why can you not accept this and that parents may not be too keen on this. Using the retort of keep your children under control then is pathetic at best in comparison. You may be a responsible dog owner, but many, many aren't.

I have a right for me and my children to be safe when out in public spaces. Everytime we've visited large public parks or nature reserves near us recently we’ve been charged at by dogs and on all but one occasion these were big dogs who could have done serious damage. Everytime we've been sat down on a blanket minding our own business and they've come at us from behind - can't you understand how threatening this is. One the times they were small dogs but we were eating a picnic in a place where a) dogs are required to be on a lead b) has dog free areas - we were in the dog free area and these dogs were in there off lead - an unbelievable level of selfishness and entitlement.

And don't be comparing dog muck to other wild animals - dog muck can be contaminated by Toxacara this can cause Toxacaris - it can cause meningitis, liver disease, and blindness, and whilst yes foxes can carry this too they don't tend to shit in the middle of public footpaths and play areas - and yes before you how can you tell the difference you can if you know. Can you understand why people might not be too keen on your dog’s shit then? And not people don't clean it up, all our public parks and nature reserves are now a no go area as the paths are full of it. Yesterday on what should have been a lovely walk to a nature reserve there was a pile on the footpath every half a meter I am not exaggerating - and it is the same everywhere else where I am - I spend half my time on the council dog fouling portal reporting it so they can clean it up! It's an absolute outrage!!!

Drop the entitled attitude and try and understand that many dog owners are selfish entitled assholes. I mean come on no one is said ban them - just keep them under control and on a lead and clean up there mess, but oh no because you're so ignorant it’s well keep away from areas where there's dogs then, I have a right to walk my dog off lead - no you don't!!

Also to dog owners that do this there are laws to protect members of the public if your dog did bite someone - police have the powers to take the dog away and to destroy it.

I urge anyone if you are bothered by off lad dogs in public family spaces, please report it to your Neighborhood Policing Team and or Council. They need to know that this us a problem.

Public green spaces, parks and playgrounds should be for all to enjoy. Keep your dogs under control and on a lead and clean up after them - like I said it's very simple.

I have a right to walk my dog off lead - no you don't!!

I think you’ll find we do. You didn’t bother reading anything I wrote to you, did you? Far too busy being Mrs Outraged About Dogs.

[quote dontdisturbmenow]@GenevaL I totally disagree with you and indeed, all breeders and vets have said that the earlier they are off the lead, the better behaved dogs become off it.

My dog is very sociable so will go to other dogs, on lead or off. Because she was introduced to it when still very little, she was still very close to me as not confident enough to be far off. She had pretty good recall from the start.

I of course always ascertain from the dog itself and master whether the dog might be one to stay away from but most are fine. He's been barked, growled and snapped at and he has learned this way that not all dogs are welcoming if his bounciness. That's absolutely fine.

I find that people with dogs on lead are anxious that they will be told off if their dog growl. I see it as part of socialising.

You talk about danger. No dangerous dog, ie, a dog that can bite should be walked without a muzzle, end of. You never know what can happen.

Puppy is now 6 months old and a very good social dog. If I see a dog that doesn't appear friendly and/or owner show sign not to approach, I'll call and he comes right away.

The process took 15 months but we have two dogs with absolutely brilliant recall
That same process took 2 months with mine allowing him to be off the lead from 9 weeks old.[/quote]
It’s not a competition. Different breeds have different levels of trainability, which surely you must know. Well done on getting yours off lead in two months. Mine took far longer as they are a breed known for poor recall. However, they don’t go to other dogs when they are off-lead unless I give the ‘let’s play’ signal and I wait for other owners to indicate they are happy with it.

The trainer we worked with on recall is a post-grad certified animal behaviourist and a leading dog trainer. We started working with her before they arrived with puppy visits. So, tbh your comments suggesting you are more informed than me about what’s best for my dogs are irrelevant.

As I say, it’s not a competition. I was merely responding to your comment asking if I planned to keep my dogs on a lead forever .

One thing I’d say though is that your dog at 6 months has a ‘puppy license’ so other dogs are more tolerant of it. If it runs up to other dogs once it’s an adult, it may not be received as nicely.

I seem to Inadvertently invite the unwelcome attention of dogs on walks. I have absolutely no idea why because I hate them.
The worst is when they jump up at me.
I had my winter coat ruined last winter. The dog had been running around in mud and I couldn’t get the paw marks out.
The owner just laughed and guess what? Said ‘he’s only being friendly’.

Out of interest, does anyone know why dogs run up to complete strangers and jump up on them?
I stop and stand still when I see them approaching- my arms by my side. Yet they still jump up...

It could be a lot of things - smells usually (food/cats or anything really!). I think a firm NO! or two as they approach rather than a smile would help the do and owner understand how you feel. Personally I'd rather that than shouting or screaming (if dd cries for eg my dog goes over to see what is wrong so it can attract a caring dog). It's obviously not always possible which is why we mostly avoid populated areas if she is off lead.

Jesuis
What about turning my head and body away? I find that this gives a signal to the owner at least (they usually attempt to recall if I do that). I’d be worried about saying ‘no’ - dog owners can get quite shirty.

It’s not a competition. Different breeds have different levels of trainability, which surely you must know
Exact, yet you made an assumption on mine and critiqued my way. I wouldn't have brought it up otherwise.

One thing I’d say though is that your dog at 6 months has a ‘puppy license’ so other dogs are more tolerant of it
Actually I've had the other experience with owners saying that their dog is fine with others but not so good with puppies, which I totally get, puppies like toddlers tend to be annoying to many older beings!

you will get these people and it can be a shock
The oy one I had was a guy with two dogs, one off the lead in the part of the park where they are supposed to be. My puppy wanted to approach them but the dog off the lead was barking his head off so I started to gently pull on my puppy's lead to move away when the guy shouted very unpleasantly 'it would help you know if you could move on'. Considering his dog was the one off the lead, I thought it was very unecessary but put it down to him being stressed and just moved on indeed!

@JeSuisPoulet

I do understand what you mean with that post Geneval but I was thinking about woodlands we go to often - ddog will run off into the undergrowth and we usually only encounter someone there once or twice in a whole week. She might go up for a sniff but her main concern is chasing squirrels. In that situation if a family turned up with a picnic and she smelt sausages, she could well wander over and we might not be immediately aware, but we would get her on the lead as soon as we were.

I think largely unpredictable behaviour is something dog owners do think about more than people without dogs. I could be wrong but most dog owners want to look after their dog, not put it in harm's way. It stands to reason that dogs are not always going to be on leads unless they are very nervous or have training to be done on behaviour when outdoors, particularly in open spaces.

As with children there will be some who have great manners and some who stick their fist in the cake before the candles are blown out, kick the birthday kid in the shins or swear like a trooper. Training does matter hugely. But those other kids will still always be there. So just as much as we don't let kids cross the road, we also make them aware other kids might not be nice but there are good ways to deal with those situations.

It has to be cooperation of behaviours rather than condemnation of either side.

Totally agree with you and I think in your example, you’ve taken all reasonable steps to be in a situation where a dog can be off lead without much chance of being a nuisance. You can’t avoid everyone all the time, unless you live on your own acres of land! I have no problem with dogs like yours at all. It’s just when I’m in less remote places and ‘friendly’ dogs are running at me and my dogs that I, like OP, get frustrated!

It might work, but if you can do both it should be clear to owner and dog. I think a single NO! fairly loudly would be fine. If you get aggro you can always say you have a medical problem and can't have them jumping up - a lot of elderly for eg said this when ddog was a puppy and not great with not jumping. It helps owners too to realise not everyone is as keen on their pet as they are as this thread has established and usually sparks the training on a bit IME.

As with children there will be some who have great manners and some who stick their fist in the cake before the candles are blown out, kick the birthday kid in the shins or swear like a trooper. Training does matter hugely. But those other kids will still always be there. So just as much as we don't let kids cross the road, we also make them aware other kids might not be nice but there are good ways to deal with those situations.

As someone who doesn’t like dogs in general and has children I agree with this!

Most dogs if being jumpy will respond to DOWN as well, or SIT if still young. I do get though that for someone walking it is a bit of a shock to have a wayward dog and these commands might not come naturally - just trying to think what would help.

I hate dogs and I hate dog owners who let their dogs do this even more. YADNBU OP. And it’s an offence to allow a dog to be out of control in public so those people should take their dogs and fuck right off.

@Alsohuman

I have a right to walk my dog off lead - no you don't!!

I think you’ll find we do. You didn’t bother reading anything I wrote to you, did you? Far too busy being Mrs Outraged About Dogs.

I think you’ll find you don’t if your dog is out of control. It’s an offence.

jesuis
It might work, but if you can do both it should be clear to owner and dog. I think a single NO! fairly loudly would be fine. If you get aggro you can always say you have a medical problem and can't have them jumping up - a lot of elderly for eg said this when ddog was a puppy and not great with not jumping. It helps owners too to realise not everyone is as keen on their pet as they are smile as this thread has established and usually sparks the training on a bit IME.

I wish all dog owners were like you!

Unfortunately a lot are like Alsohuman

Today 09:17 Alsohuman

I have a right to walk my dog off lead - no you don't!!

I think you’ll find we do. You didn’t bother reading anything I wrote to you, did you? Far too busy being Mrs Outraged About Dogs.

Slow clap for @Alsohuman you know when I was talking about selfishness and entitlement.......your lack of self awareness is outstanding. No you don't if your dog is not in control - all the experiences on here have been with dogs which are out of control - I will repeat again we all have the right to enjoy public green spces safely - why would you be opposed to that!

@MadameMeursault I wouldn't bother people like her don't believe the rules should apply to them.

@ MrsGoggings85

Dogs are wild animals they can be violent and unpredictable - they can kill even older children if they turn. Why can you not accept this and that parents may not be too keen on this. Using the retort of keep your children under control then is pathetic at best in comparison. You may be a responsible dog owner, but many, many aren't.

Firsty, dogs are domesticated animals, not wild animals. Secondly, yes, of course dogs can cause serious damage if they attack. I've never said otherwise. If you actually read my posts you will see that I advocate dogs being kept under control at all times. I have also advocated all park users treat others with respect and consideration. That includes parents ensuring their children behave and in particular, don't approach dogs without permission from the owner. Are you really objecting to that?

I have a right for me and my children to be safe when out in public spaces.

Of course you have. As do I and my dogs.

Everytime we've visited large public parks or nature reserves near us recently we’ve been charged at by dogs and on all but one occasion these were big dogs who could have done serious damage. Everytime we've been sat down on a blanket minding our own business and they've come at us from behind - can't you understand how threatening this is. One the times they were small dogs but we were eating a picnic in a place where a) dogs are required to be on a lead b) has dog free areas - we were in the dog free area and these dogs were in there off lead - an unbelievable level of selfishness and entitlement.

Absolutely. I agree that is selfish and entitled. You should contact the council and ask them to send out a park warden to patrol. The park I frequent is not like that. Most users treat others with consideration.

And don't be comparing dog muck to other wild animals - dog muck can be contaminated by Toxacara this can cause Toxacaris - it can cause meningitis, liver disease, and blindness, and whilst yes foxes can carry this too they don't tend to shit in the middle of public footpaths and play areas - and yes before you how can you tell the difference you can if you know. Can you understand why people might not be too keen on your dog’s shit then? And not people don't clean it up, all our public parks and nature reserves are now a no go area as the paths are full of it. Yesterday on what should have been a lovely walk to a nature reserve there was a pile on the footpath every half a meter I am not exaggerating - and it is the same everywhere else where I am - I spend half my time on the council dog fouling portal reporting it so they can clean it up! It's an absolute outrage!!!

And rat urine can cause weil's disease. The issue here is not dog excrement. It is inconsiderate people who don't clean up. Why on earth do you think dog owners don't understand people's frustration with people not picking up? I have picked up after other dogs. I have called people out on it. However, the type of people who don't clear up are also the type who leave their litter behind. Or who dump the dirty nappy beside the full bin rather than bring it home. You know, ignorant, inconsiderate people.

Drop the entitled attitude and try and understand that many dog owners are selfish entitled assholes.

The only only with the entitled attitude is you. I have always agreed that some dog owners are selfish entitled assholes. I have merely pointed out that there are plenty of selfish entitled assholes out there without dogs too.

I mean come on no one is said ban them - just keep them under control and on a lead and clean up there mess,

At least one poster up thread suggested banning them. I have, in all my posts advocated keeping them under control. I also advocate cleaning up.

but oh no because you're so ignorant it’s well keep away from areas where there's dogs then, I have a right to walk my dog off lead - no you don't!!

I have never said either of those things. The only ignorance on display here is yours.

Also to dog owners that do this there are laws to protect members of the public if your dog did bite someone - police have the powers to take the dog away and to destroy it.

And rightly so.
I urge anyone if you are bothered by off lad dogs in public family spaces, please report it to your Neighborhood Policing Team and or Council. They need to know that this us a problem.

Of course. If anyone is causing a nuisance in public areas you should report.

Public green spaces, parks and playgrounds should be for all to enjoy. Keep your dogs under control and on a lead and clean up after them - like I said it's very simple.

That is exactly what I have advocated. However, I have expanded that to ask ALL users to treat others with consideration. That includes parents ensuring children behave and don't annoy others or cause a hazard. Same with cyclists, joggers, smokers etc

GenevaL I agree with you regarding training a good recall. It is a shame other dog owners are not as responsible as you.

don'disturbmenow I think you need to take some training advice from qualified behaviourists. The many vets and breeders I have worked with in the past did not have sound knowledge of dog behaviour.