Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be utterly exasperated with the ‘but she’s really friendly’ dog owners out there

819 replies

Flamingolingo · 18/07/2020 18:21

You know the kind - the ones who holler after their bounding dog who barks and bows and jumps at you about how friendly they are.

I feel like since lockdown I’ve had multiple altercations with people and their marauding dogs. Especially either while out running or out with my small children who are terrified.

That’s not to say there aren’t loads of really responsible dog owners out there who do try and call their dog back/put it on the lead, but the few who make no attempt other than shout about their friendliness really get my goat. For clarity: we are mostly using city centre green space, that is quite busy, I think in a rural location it’s a little different.

So I guess my Aibu is about my being annoyed at people who assume everyone wants their ‘friendly’ dog to bound into their social space, and who make no attempt to call their dog back unless specifically asked to.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
OchonAgusOchonO · 24/07/2020 00:06

@fascinated - Always our problem to deal with.

Your excessive anger at the behaviour of a small number of dog owners is your problem to deal with.

Most dog owners are responsible. The minority who aren't are certainly frustrating but the level of anger you are displaying to all dogs and their owners seems disproportionate and damaging to your mental health.

OchonAgusOchonO · 24/07/2020 00:11

@crosseyedMary - why do they always draw analogies between dogs and children?

Because the two main causes of nuisance when out and about seem to be dogs and children. I have been irritated by both. If we're suggesting one should be under control, it seems reasonable to suggest the other should also be kept under control.

crosseyedMary · 24/07/2020 00:17

The main two causes of nuisance when I'm out and about are dogs and their owners

Alsohuman · 24/07/2020 00:20

@crosseyedMary

The main two causes of nuisance when I'm out and about are dogs and their owners
Where do you live? I only ever see other dogs when I’m walking mine.
OchonAgusOchonO · 24/07/2020 00:21

@crosseyedMary - The main two causes of nuisance when I'm out and about are dogs and their owners

Maybe open your eyes a bit and see what irritates other people too.

ittooshallpass · 24/07/2020 00:26

YANBU I am sick to death of dogs running and jumping at me while I'm out walking. Twice recently my clothes have been covered in mud and the skin broken and bruised on my legs - through my jeans! - and all I got was a cheery 'sorry, my dog is just being friendly. I cannot stand dogs and this is just one of the many reasons why!

crosseyedMary · 24/07/2020 00:26

Gosh thanks guys 🤩 I'm so popular tonight🤩everyone's saying my name🤩
3 mentions in a row my ratings are skyrocketing📈
Go me🤩

fascinated · 24/07/2020 00:29

There are a lot of these types near me.

And even a dog on a lead deposits germs when it poos, germs that remain even when poo is picked up. Turns my stomach.

crosseyedMary · 24/07/2020 00:31

I wonder if the best thing to do when there's a dog incident, whether it's dog mess not cleared up, nuisance behaviour from dogs, attacks from dogs, so any dog related incident get your phone out and start recording or even wear a body cam if you're in an area where the population of dogs is high🤔

fascinated · 24/07/2020 00:32

It’s too close knit a community for that. I’d be public enemy No 1! Dogs can do no wrong in this neck of the woods. Sigh.

OchonAgusOchonO · 24/07/2020 00:33

@fascinated - And even a dog on a lead deposits germs when it poos, germs that remain even when poo is picked up. Turns my stomach.

You do realise birds, rats, mice etc all deficate and urinate on city streets? Add foxes, badgers etc to parks and anywhere you walk is not particularly hygienic.

crosseyedMary · 24/07/2020 00:34

Oh yes the stomach churning, having to walk past a person who is jauntily swinging a little bag full of the awful the ghastly 'feacal bonbons'🤮
As if it's a treasured little gift that the darling fur baby has given them🤮
It just seems a bit weird the way they covet and worship the shit like that 🤮

fascinated · 24/07/2020 00:37

These are wild animals and I have never seen them defecate in a park or path in broad daylight, leaving smears of faeces behind on grass the kids are playing on.

We’re never going to agree! I’m fine hating dogs. This thread has hardened my resolve, in fact.

OchonAgusOchonO · 24/07/2020 00:48

@crosseyedMary - Oh yes the stomach churning, having to walk past a person who is jauntily swinging a little bag full of the awful the ghastly 'feacal bonbons'🤮

Would you rather we didn't clean up afterwards?

As if it's a treasured little gift that the darling fur baby has given them🤮 It just seems a bit weird the way they covet and worship the shit like that 🤮

You obviously don't know any dog owners then Grin. Nobody actually likes picking up after their dog. We do it because it is the responsible thing to do.

OchonAgusOchonO · 24/07/2020 00:55

@fascinated - These are wild animals and I have never seen them defecate in a park or path in broad daylight, leaving smears of faeces behind on grass the kids are playing on.

Just because you haven't seen them doing it doesn't mean it's not there. I also suspect you have seen faeces from wild animals in a park and attributed it to dogs.

If you want a sterile life, you really need to stay indoors.

OchonAgusOchonO · 24/07/2020 00:59

@crosseyedMary -Oh yes the stomach churning, having to walk past a person who is jauntily swinging a little bag full of the awful the ghastly 'feacal bonbons'🤮

And just to keep you happy, I'll bring up the revolting parents who change nappies in all sorts of innapropriate places.

DeeTractor · 24/07/2020 01:12

"Oh yes the stomach churning, having to walk past a person who is jauntily swinging a little bag full of the awful the ghastly 'feacal bonbons'🤮
As if it's a treasured little gift that the darling fur baby has given them🤮
It just seems a bit weird the way they covet and worship the shit like that 🤮"

Mental.

OchonAgusOchonO · 24/07/2020 01:18

@DeeTractor - Mental.

The only explanation is Wine

OuiOuiKitty · 24/07/2020 01:18

People irritate me with their reactions to dogs. I have 2 small cute dogs that are absolute child magnets. One of my dogs really doesn't like people that aren't us, she has a very nervous disposition and the amount of kids that come bounding over to her and scare the life of her is shocking. The parents just smile and expect me to acknowledge how sweet their kids are.

Then there are the people who act like i have 2 rabid beasts when I'm walking with the dogs on lead. One weirdo went off into thigh high grass the other day to avoid going within 5 metres of them. Or the ones that get all in a flap when we overtake them because they are walking like snails and my dogs dare glance in their direction. Seriously grow up, they are just dogs, your dramatics are pathetic.
Lock down was particularly fun, people who have clearly never been for a walk before in their lives suddenly discovering the outside exists and being agast by the fact people bring their dogs for walks.

People here grumbling about smears of dog poo? If you had dogs you would know just how much wild animal and human poo is around the place. One of my dogs is a fiend for sniffing it out. I never knew so many people took shits in the local park until we got her.

OchonAgusOchonO · 24/07/2020 01:23

@OuiOuiKitty - I never knew so many people took shits in the local park until we got her.

Yes but it doesn't count if fascinated hasn't actually seen them crapping.

TakemedowntoPotatoCity · 24/07/2020 04:36

Not quite the same thing but I have a child with a severe phobia of dogs. She will scream and run if one is in the vicinity. It's exhausting and I don't know how to help her, and I love dogs myself so desperately want her to overcome this. But stating that your dog is 'reallly friendly' is getting exhausting to be honest!
The best way to understand this is to imagine a giant spider or something walking along towards someone with a spider phobia. You wouldn't point out how friendly it was would you because it would make absolutely no difference to an irrational fear! So why do people do it. It's all the time!
So please

dontdisturbmenow · 24/07/2020 06:47

@GenevaL, Out of curiosity are you going to keep your puppy on lead forever? Because if not, there will be a time when he will naturally go to other dogs. That's how they learn just like kids learn to behave by doings things and being told not to.

Also it's not always dog owners at fault. I have a puppy everyone finds very cute. People encourages him to go to them to give him much fuss. It's hard to teach that it's ok for some but not others. I am also teaching him not to jump but again because he is small and cute people keep saying it's ok and encourage him.

He is learning well thankfully because he is quite a clever fog but it's probably taking quite a bit longer because of Pepe's behaviours. As it is, there many more dog lovers even when they don't own one than dog haters, which I guess is a blessing.

Thankfully I've had no experience whatsoever of the unpleasantness that's been exhibited here.

dontdisturbmenow · 24/07/2020 06:53

Oh and it goes both ways. My puppy doesn't like children, especially the younger ones. He would never be aggressive he just comes back to me, but because he's very cute, children desperately want to stroke him. When He won't let them I explain that he isn't keen. Yet many kids insist, run after him, shout at him. Often the parents are further away, or when around, won't tell their kids to stop.

I've never taken offence to it. Kids are kids, they mean well. I just move on and don't expect the kids to go play elsewhere.

Erictheavocado · 24/07/2020 08:02

Where are all these marauding dogs?! I don't see them. Is it perhaps that you are hypersensitive due to you and your children's phobia? It's worth working on that, as dogs are everywhere.

I think that what some dog owners are not realising is that many people with a phobia of dogs, have it because of the actions of an out of control dog in the first place. Certainly, the people I know who are frightened of dogs fall into this category. So before a dog owner tells anyone to 'work on that', they should consider where the fear came from in the first place.

Personally, I like dogs, for the most part. What I don't like are the owners who, rather than accepting that dogs can be a problem for other people when out and about, would rather engage in some whataboutery. Those people come across owners who cannot accept that there dog is not universally adored. There are several examples on this thread.

GenevaL · 24/07/2020 08:21

[quote dontdisturbmenow]@GenevaL, Out of curiosity are you going to keep your puppy on lead forever? Because if not, there will be a time when he will naturally go to other dogs. That's how they learn just like kids learn to behave by doings things and being told not to.

Also it's not always dog owners at fault. I have a puppy everyone finds very cute. People encourages him to go to them to give him much fuss. It's hard to teach that it's ok for some but not others. I am also teaching him not to jump but again because he is small and cute people keep saying it's ok and encourage him.

He is learning well thankfully because he is quite a clever fog but it's probably taking quite a bit longer because of Pepe's behaviours. As it is, there many more dog lovers even when they don't own one than dog haters, which I guess is a blessing.

Thankfully I've had no experience whatsoever of the unpleasantness that's been exhibited here.[/quote]
My puppies are now adult dogs and we invested a great deal of time in recall training them. Your approach of letting puppies off leads so they can run up to other dogs / people and learn by being told not off is not one that I think is advisable or safe. In fact, it’s exactly the sort of ‘training’ that others find infuriating. If your puppy runs up to a dog on a lead and annoys it, you are allowing it to be in a an unsafe situation. It’s YOUR job to teach the puppy / dog, not other growling dogs and annoyed owners.

You compare them to kids learning by being told not to do things. We don’t allow kids to do dangerous things to teach them a lesson. We don’t let them step out into the road to learn that cars are fast and will brake to avoid hitting you; we hold their hands. You don’t teach a dog that it can be off-lead and run up to other dogs on leads which don’t want to be approached because if they are growled or snapped at you will try and recall them. You teach them that they are not to approach other dogs and if they can’t do that then they don’t come off lead OR you put the lead on when you see an off-lead dog approaching. If you don’t know this basic etiquette then you should do because this is exactly what people are annoyed about.

We began by training them to look at us on walks, then by letting them walk ahead and asking them to turn round. Then we put them on long lines and recalled using those, beginning in areas with no distractions and when that was reliable we did it with the long lines trailing. We then let them off lead in an enclosed paddock and then finally in safer open areas such as woods. Recall initially involved them being called back only to be praised and released or treated with food or a toy. We then introduced occasional re-leashing so they didn’t associate it with being put on a lead every time they came back. The process took 15 months but we have two dogs with absolutely brilliant recall. Not once did they learn by running up to other dogs and getting told off.

We do not let them off lead in areas where there are other dogs that they could run up to in order to teach them not to run up to them...because that would be irresponsible, dangerous and inconsiderate.

As I said, every problem I’ve had has been with owners allowing their dogs to run up to mine because their dogs are poorly trained and not under full control.