To be utterly exasperated with the ‘but she’s really friendly’ dog owners out there

[Flamingolingo]

You know the kind - the ones who holler after their bounding dog who barks and bows and jumps at you about how friendly they are.

I feel like since lockdown I’ve had multiple altercations with people and their marauding dogs. Especially either while out running or out with my small children who are terrified.

That’s not to say there aren’t loads of really responsible dog owners out there who do try and call their dog back/put it on the lead, but the few who make no attempt other than shout about their friendliness really get my goat. For clarity: we are mostly using city centre green space, that is quite busy, I think in a rural location it’s a little different.

So I guess my Aibu is about my being annoyed at people who assume everyone wants their ‘friendly’ dog to bound into their social space, and who make no attempt to call their dog back unless specifically asked to.

I too am a dog owner and I completely agree with you. I never let my dog off the lead even though I know she is friendly and won't harm anyone. It's not nice to have a dog bounding up and jumping up at you.

I have a neighbour who has a spaniel and I got out of my car and she was on the drive with the dog. The doing came running at me, barking and I didnt know if it was friendly or not. Yet she just thinks I'm being a dick when I tell her she shouldn't have her dog off the lead running about the streets

@oliviabenson2

Last week me and two small kids were having a picnic in Beckenham Place Park. Dog came over about a foot from my youngest daughter and started shitting. Then the dog owner came over laughing. I thought it was absolutely disgusting and we had to pack up our things and move. Then owner was very much of the oh he is just being friendly brigade. I couldn’t believe the number of people there who can’t control their dogs.

If you can stop a dog shitting, please give me some lessons, it would be a very useful life skill. I’m assuming the owner cleared it up, otherwise you’re right.

Be as sceptical as you like, I’m 60 and I don’t care. 🤣
We picnic a lot, a couple of times a month in the summer. My children were never frightened of dogs, but objected to stolen food, stepped on picnics and general rudeness. They are used to seagull attacks, but you may be equally sceptical about those existing as a problem unless you live in Brighton.

I don’t give a shit if the dog is “friendly “ or not. It’s not just about being bitten. Why should anyone have to put up with being jumped on, licked, slobbered on, having food stolen, being barked or growled at or ANYTHING when they are out and about minding their own business. It’s incredibly presumptuous, and rude, to think you can impose that on people.

@Mittens030869

*Alsohuman I've seen a lot of dogs ploughing into picnics lately and licking the food*

Ffs where do you all live? I’ve spent more than six decades on this planet and never seen this happen once.

I've never seen this happen either. I've only ever had wasps interfere with picnics (which I hate with a passion) but never dogs.

Excuse me if I'm sceptical. (I've had five decades on this planet.

Ooh, I'll go:

Peckham Rye Park 3 times (we lived nearby)
Hampstead Heath twice (ditto)
Chatsworth twice
Lyme Park 4 times

Oh, and also in Grantchester

@oliviabenson2
dogs poo, as long as it was picked up it's not a big deal at all. Ideally you hope as a dog owner they will do it somewhere quiet but if they need to go they need to go.
a dog came over and weed all over my boys bike today whilst he was on it. the owner apologised and I said it was fine. I didn't make a big deal about it.

But parks are for children....why on earth would any decent parent keep their kids away from parks because some Mumsnetter thinks dogs should have sole use of the green areas which surround them?

Parks are for everyone. Children's playgrounds are for children. Dogs don't go there. Surely you teach your children to share?

I don’t give a shit if the dog is “friendly “ or not. It’s not just about being bitten. Why should anyone have to put up with being jumped on, licked, slobbered on, having food stolen, being barked or growled at or ANYTHING when they are out and about minding their own business. It’s incredibly presumptuous, and rude, to think you can impose that on people

This. I hate that I've had to teach the children "freeze! Don't move!" as yet another fucking dog comes bounding over, barking and jumping up at them. I was a dog owner for over 30 years, if you have so little ability to control your animal it should be off the lead. How about I just let my kid's come running up to those owners and jump all over them, licking their faces etc? Last straw was the pitty that jumped up on my (frozen still) 3 year old, licked her right on her mouth whilst her owner wandered slowly up snapping "don't worry, he's just playing", next time I'll use a stick to hit out, maybe that'll get the dog to stop. It's an animal at the end of the day, no matter how sentimental the British get about our dogs and if the owner is incompetent and unable to stop their dog jumping up you bet I'll smack out at it, just as I would if a human were to do the same.

*shouldn't be off lead. Obviously.

I've had a dog slobber over my picnic on 2 occasions that spring to mind immediately.

I've had to punch a small dog to stop him leaping onto my small baby. I was sat down with the baby on my lap and the dog just jumped on him.

I've had to shout at people for allowing their giant dogs to jump up at my toddlers, knocking them over.

It doesn't happen every day but enough to be extremely irritating and to have given my children a dislike of dogs.

children....why on earth would any decent parent keep their kids away from parks because some Mumsnetter thinks dogs should have sole use of the green areas which surround them?
Except it's not dog owners who want the sole use but you, you're the one who seem unhappy to share.

Ultimately, it comes down to definition. A for that runs toward a child, jump, knocks him over is totally out of order and such dogs should be kept on a lead.

However, I've seen people who don't like dogs don't give dirty looks or complain when a dog jogs next to them (and would refer this as bouncing on them) when the dog isn't even showing any interested in them. The fear can make the person very much dramatise the situation.

I've also seen kids showing some weariness rather than full on fear and parents who totally overeact, and it is at that point the kid starts to panic.

I find also some dog owners have no idea of what their dogs behaviour is like!

Often people will shout hes friendly as their dog is doing distinctly unfriendly things. Sometimes this is purely boisterousness eg bouncing all over my leashed dog, sometimes its actually fairly agressive behaviour eg barking at them.

My dog is dog tolerant, doesn't always love new dogs, but is happy to meet and greet and move on whilst on a lead (Always walked on lead). We foster dogs and he puts up with all kinds of shenanigans!

Often we meet owners who say oh hes friendly when their dog is clearly squaring up to mine, staring him down and blocking the path. You can see their dog stiffen etc, and as my dog doesnt always back down if they dont move their dog on it leads to a standoff. People often say "oh hes never done that before!" Or "other dogs always hate him" But clearly havent realised their dog is very dominant (especially so when not neutered) and his positive interactions have been based on him always intimidating the other dog to show submissive signs. Bit like if you had a kid and said well they never tantrum, and its because no one says no to them

Equally yesterday someone with a really bouncy spaniel was bouncing all over my dogs head, my dog said hello then got a bit bored of this, so we moved on. This dog came over a further 3 times to bounce literally on my dog (whilst we were walking onwards with him on lead, clearly signally that we were done), so my dog began to show his teeth (didnt snap or anything) . The owner then suddenly became interested and finally retrieved her dog and was really rude!

Yes OP you are right, a lot of people don't control their dogs well in public places. We try to only let ours off in dog friendly areas and make a point of driving to them for long walks often. It is worth checking that the beach you are on,for example, is not the only all day dog friendly sandy beach for 40 miles around though - we drove for 45mins to get to one last week only to find a family with 2 small kids had decided to tie their dog up by the cafe (which had tables) and eat on the beach, meaning our dog couldn't then run off lead because they took 1hr to eat a box of chips and had a whole picnic to go. I asked them if they minded as we had driven a long way and she said it was fine but our dog kept sitting and waiting for a chip rather than getting exercise so we ended up packing up our things and driving to another walk instead. I think lockdown has bought more families out into areas where dog walkers usually have space to let dogs off lead too which can heighten issues.

YANBU..We have 2 dogs.We keep them on leads. One has terrible recall and it is easier to have them both on leads. It is really annoying when other dog owners let their hounds bound over to ours. It causes all sorts of issues.

YANBU- it seems to be getting worse around here the last couple of years, but I’m not sure if that’s just because I have a small child now and am more aware of it. There do seem to be lots of seemingly inexperienced owners of young dogs around here now though.

We went to a forest just before lockdown- signs everywhere saying dogs should be on leads at all times. Every sodding dog off lead. We were there an hour, and in that time:

• DS (3) was slightly ahead of us on his balance bike. Small dog coming the other way, well head of it’s owners. Spots DS, immediately breaks into a run and starts yapping. DH and I see what’s about to happen from a mile off and break into a sprint- owners only change the pace of their gentle stroll when dog reaches DS, starts jumping up at him, and I start shouting to DS that we’re almost there. I think the owners only sped up because they thought we might do something to the dog tbh. Young family, wouldn’t be surprised if it was their first dog. Got the “sorry, but he is just friendly” line.

Literally 20 minutes later- DS minding his own business, digging in a sandy area. Young bull dog approaches him, jumps up and knocks him over. No adult owners in sight, just child of approximately 10 years old, who retrieved the dog and said “he’s just learning how to behave”. Why you’d leave your child alone with a dog they have no control over is utterly beyond me.

I don’t give a shit if the dog is “friendly “ or not. It’s not just about being bitten. Why should anyone have to put up with being jumped on, licked, slobbered on, having food stolen, being barked or growled at or ANYTHING when they are out and about minding their own business. It’s incredibly presumptuous, and rude, to think you can impose that on people

This.

Though I'd agree that wasps and seagulls are a much greater threat to a peaceful picnic.

lockdown has bought more families out into areas where dog walkers usually have space to let dogs off lead too which can heighten issues this is probably true - maybe now that people are allowed to go on holiday again the numbers will reduce somewhat.

Its about communication too though. My puppy is very friendly and bouncy, although small. He is currently learning social skills and has made a lot of progress. He now knows that not all dogs want to play and will move on. He knows that some dogs will bark and some snap and that's ok. He also now understand that a dog barking doesn't mean the dog is agressive (he used to cower between my legs before).

He's learned all this because he's been around other dogs who've responded to his behaviour accordingly. Otherwise, how was he to learn?

Most reasonable owners will say right away if a dog doesn't want a bouncy one approaching them and I just gave to tell puppy no and he knows not to approach, but yesterday, he went to one, I ask the owner of it was ok, they said nothing at all, then acted all upset and offended when my dog approached hers. A simple no my dog doesn't like it would have sufficed.

Saying that, I've been amazed how lovely and understanding dog owners are. Dog owners of all ages, with all kind of dogs and same with non dog owners, most are all to happy to give him much fuss.

Yesterday, mine went to a young girl quite nicely dressed on the beach when he was all wet and muddy. I called him back right away but she said that it was fine, she didn't mind and gave him a lot of fuss, so this doesn't help puppies when they get such mixed messages.

A dog poodling around and sniffing at me is fine by me, though I know many people don't like that either but yesterday, I had 2 dogs jump up at me , one of them followed me for quite a way doing it as I determinedly ignored it and walked on ( my default reaction if this happens). The second one ( not sure of the breed but bigger than the poodle) gave up more quickly. In both cases it was a case of over exuberance rather than aggression and as I am not scared of dogs it was no more than mildly irritating for me.

However when ds was a toddler it was awful if this happened as he would scream and get very upset which would excite the dogs further. I vividly remember a couple of incidents where I really was worried the combination of exitable dog, terrified toddler and absent or far away owner would result in a bite or at least a nip. Luckily it it never happened but YANBU

As an aside I've often wondered why the dogs always seem to do this to me instead of DH when we are walking together. They tend to approach and sniff at me or on occasion jump up but not DH . DH doesn't like dogs though he isn't frightened so he says they sense my like/ tolerance of .them .
I'm not sure if it is true but I definitely get approached more by dogs than he does . If they just sniff and are gentle I sometimes pet them though more.ofren I tend to ignore them as I'm not always in the mood or DH and I are talking etc, I don't want to be distracted so I don't was respond . They do nonetheless approach me more often which makes me wonder why....

The very reason my daughter is terrified of dogs is because of one of these dog owners. She was knocked flying (and scratched in the face) by a husky puppy when she was about 2. I had a pram with the baby in it and the owners other 2 (large) dogs were jumping up at me so I didn't know what to do, I couldn't abandon the pram and this puppy wouldn't sod off from my daughter (she had been walking ahead) I ended up shouting (and crying I had PND at the time so very prone to weeping!) he told me I should have had my toddler ON A LEAD!! and that he was only a puppy and just wanted to play.

Now 13 my daughter is better but still grabs my hand if there's a dog when we're out walking and I have socialised her as often as possible with dogs I know but she still won't go in a house with a dog loose!

My middle child is also very wary and touchy but not as bad but they grew up together so she caught the fear!

Luckily my youngest hasn't had such a bad experience and is a dog lover but I have taught her to come to me if a loose dog approaches.

Where I live now most dogs off lead don't even look at us just saunter in past lol much better behaved dogs than our old place and much better owners who wouldn't let them jump on the kids!!

Oh also I've had loads of bad experiences when running, even from dogs on lead where their owners don't clip the retractable lead rendering it completely pointless! Mostly I just don't want to trip over and break something

Im very much a dog lover but for me i use the same rules i would kids. I dont expect them to be perfect, i expect the adult with them to be taking reasonable steps to stop them interupting others.

If your kid knocks over mine accidentally and you apologise thats irritating but okay. If your kid is repeatedly bothering mine thats not okay.

Both my son and daughter have been attacked / frightened by dogs quite randomly in large spaces where the dogs have just been out of control and bounded up and either kept on them or in one case a husky had my sons foot in his mouth and left large teeth marks and that dog was only “playing” he happily ran off after. Owners totally unaware.

And what is it with dogs that come up and stick their faces in your groin? It’s just so disgusting...

@fascinated

And what is it with dogs that come up and stick their faces in your groin? It’s just so disgusting...

They like strong smells......