To be utterly exasperated with the ‘but she’s really friendly’ dog owners out there

[Flamingolingo]

You know the kind - the ones who holler after their bounding dog who barks and bows and jumps at you about how friendly they are.

I feel like since lockdown I’ve had multiple altercations with people and their marauding dogs. Especially either while out running or out with my small children who are terrified.

That’s not to say there aren’t loads of really responsible dog owners out there who do try and call their dog back/put it on the lead, but the few who make no attempt other than shout about their friendliness really get my goat. For clarity: we are mostly using city centre green space, that is quite busy, I think in a rural location it’s a little different.

So I guess my Aibu is about my being annoyed at people who assume everyone wants their ‘friendly’ dog to bound into their social space, and who make no attempt to call their dog back unless specifically asked to.

Op I agree with you. It's annoying when strange dogs approach and jump up. I don't like it either. It's inconvenient.

But I'm not afraid of them.

My bugbear here is when people or their children have a genuine fear or phobia and yet they still go to places where this is highly likely just because they don't have imagination to go somewhere other than the park. Where dogs are. And subject their kids to the thing they're afraid of, knowing it's likely to happen, and then bitch and moan about it.

But parks are for children....why on earth would any decent parent keep their kids away from parks because some Mumsnetter thinks dogs should have sole use of the green areas which surround them?

Dogs running up to people shouldn't be a likely occurrence. You clearly have no control over your dog and so think everyone else should just suck it up.

My dog doesn't come off the lead :)

You keep taking your kid somewhere where they encounter dogs, whether you have the high road or not won't stop it happening.

Playgrounds are for kids not dogs.

parks are for both.

Strange viewpoint you have for someone who keeps yours on a lead at all times
So you acknowledge they are for both, then. Good. Anyone should be able to go anywhere without fear of attack, whether they are frightened of dogs, or plain indifferent towards them. There would be no issue at all, for anyone, is all owners were in control of their dogs.

If*

Incase you can't read - I agree with the OP, it's annoying when dogs off lead approach my dog on the lead as much as it is for children.

But I think if you know your kids are scared of dogs and you know dogs go to the park, then use your imagination and go somewhere they won't be frightened all the time. You can't stop every single person from their dogs from being off the lead, but you can protect your child who's scared.
Jesus Christ.

Last week me and two small kids were having a picnic in Beckenham Place Park. Dog came over about a foot from my youngest daughter and started shitting. Then the dog owner came over laughing. I thought it was absolutely disgusting and we had to pack up our things and move. Then owner was very much of the oh he is just being friendly brigade. I couldn’t believe the number of people there who can’t control their dogs.

But parks are for children....
Children are not the centre of everything. The world doesn't revolve around children.

Parks are for everyone and everyone can do their own thing.

At my local big park you'll see:

• football matches
• families having picnics
• elderly people going for a walk and a coffee in the cafe
• couples and adults going for a walk or sitting on the grass
• teenagers sitting on the fields
• bootcamp classes and other exercise groups
• people from local running clubs doing their training
• families on bike rides because the cycle path goes through
• cyclists commuting
• dog walking, on and off lead

And of course children playing and using the play areas

The park isn't for children. The fact some parents love a good whinge on social media about the existence of bikes, teenagers chilling in the sun, dogs and anything else they feel prevents their child being the centre of the universe means they need a grip handing to them.

One of my children is 3 but super tiny and the number of dogs that come bounding up to her was really unnerving. And she likes dogs. Keep your animals under control.

I’m sorry @Carrotgirl87 but I’m really not getting what you’re saying - at best your suggestion that children shouldn’t be in parks so they can’t be jumped at by feral dogs is a straw man argument, at worst it’s classic victim blaming. People (parents, dog owners, runners, everyone else) need to use shared space considerately. That means appropriate use of a lead, appropriate attempts to recall, being generally helpful. Yes there is a play park but for the last four months it has been closed. Now it’s open again is your suggestion that I teleport them across the park to access it? I don’t think I have a problem with you as a dog owner, but I do have a problem with the man I encountered on Saturday

YANBU

My son was terrified of dogs (he's getting slightly better now he is older) and at his pre-school a parent would continually have their dog off the lead although it was against the rules. One time it came bounding up to ds who panicked and fell into a puddle and all the owner said was that he's friendly and doesn't bite My ds just heard bite and would panic even more

@Flamingolingo

Would you take a child deathly afraid of cows to a farm?

I take my kids everywhere you cheeky cow, don't project your lack of imagination onto me.
You don't need to keep repeating that you agree with the OP. Your contribution to this thread was that people should stay away from areas where dogs are likely to be which is clearly idiotic and warrants no further comment. My child is only frightened of out of control dogs, not the mere sight of them-do you really think I seek to traumatise him every time we go to a park?
Jesus Christ indeed.

That was to @Carrotgirl87

You keep a strong hold of that grip, @LolaSmiles
It's obvious that parks aren't ONLY for children lol.

Poor reading comprehension I see. And yes I protect my children. Already covered this. Lol.

@Alsohuman

I've seen a lot of dogs ploughing into picnics lately and licking the food

Ffs where do you all live? I’ve spent more than six decades on this planet and never seen this happen once.

In Sussex. I’ve picnicked and had to share with random friendly thieves with paws on the South Downs, Chanctonbury Ring, Chichester harbour, Littlehampton beach, Brighton beach, Hastings park and I’ve also picnicked in a lot of NT/SAS property grounds and had no problem. Imagine how chuffed I was when the NT started piloting entrance for dogs.

Obviously I would take my child to a farm. Even if he was scared of cows, because it’s highly likely there would be other things there that he wouldn’t be scared of/ would get something out of seeing. I’d even allow him to see a cow, from a distance he felt comfortable. But I would be really annoyed if on entering the farm an out of control cow careered into view towards us, and I didn’t have time to manage my child and his fear. I’d be even more annoyed if the people responsible for the cow didn’t give a shit about the fact that their animal was causing upset and being dangerous. That’s what we are talking about, not whether I should keep my children away from anywhere they might see a dog (which would pretty much be limited to our house and garden). I can’t decide what your angle is though - are you being obtuse deliberately? Or do you genuinely think that the park is not a suitable place for children just in case there might be a dickhead there who can’t control his dog?

👏 OP

No you're not being unreasonable. I was once walking in the country near my home when a neighbour (I knew by sight she was from the other end of the village) walked up in the opposite direction. She was walking her Great Danes.

I'm nervous about dogs. I stood still. Stock still.

She saw my hesitancy said something along the lines of, "It's alright they're just big puppies!" at which point one of things jumped up at me and bit me in the arm. I was wearing a jacket.

She said, "Down boy. It's all right. He's just being friendly!" and walked off. I only noticed after she had walked off and I took off my coat that the fucker had drawn drawn blood. The bastard thing had bitten me through three layers of clothes and drawn blood.

If she had been a stranger, and it wouldn't have been more trouble than it was worth in such a small community, I would have got the bastard thing shot.

Alsohuman
I've seen a lot of dogs ploughing into picnics lately and licking the food

Ffs where do you all live? I’ve spent more than six decades on this planet and never seen this happen once.

I've never seen this happen either. I've only ever had wasps interfere with picnics (which I hate with a passion) but never dogs.

Excuse me if I'm sceptical. (I've had five decades on this planet.