To be utterly exasperated with the ‘but she’s really friendly’ dog owners out there

[Flamingolingo]

You know the kind - the ones who holler after their bounding dog who barks and bows and jumps at you about how friendly they are.

I feel like since lockdown I’ve had multiple altercations with people and their marauding dogs. Especially either while out running or out with my small children who are terrified.

That’s not to say there aren’t loads of really responsible dog owners out there who do try and call their dog back/put it on the lead, but the few who make no attempt other than shout about their friendliness really get my goat. For clarity: we are mostly using city centre green space, that is quite busy, I think in a rural location it’s a little different.

So I guess my Aibu is about my being annoyed at people who assume everyone wants their ‘friendly’ dog to bound into their social space, and who make no attempt to call their dog back unless specifically asked to.

@LolaSmiles

That's how it's been with my DH. Before he met me, he didn't like either dogs or cats, and had been told that he was allergic to both. I had a cat, so when he came for weekends with me, he was very unsure at first, but he found that he wasn't allergic to cats after all and he seems to really like my 3 cats (not that he will admit it! ). The DDs adore them of course.

He is allergic to dogs, but he can cope with staying in a house with my DSis's dog. He just has to take medication. I wouldn't say he has any enthusiasm for dogs, but at least he can co-exist with dogs. As our DDs can.

We can't so easily have dogs in our house of course because of our 3 cats.

I just think it's limiting if you can't cope with dogs. People are not going to stop owning dogs, and it can be a lot of fun enjoying someone else's dog and going on a dog walk. (It's a way of enjoying the dog without the responsibility. )

I bloody love dogs but YANBU. Dogs are like children, you have to remember other people don't love yours as much as you do.

I've seen a lot of dogs ploughing into picnics lately and licking the food, the owners laughing like it is ditzy and adorable. I would be so pissed off to prepare and pack up a lunch only for it to be ruined by dog slobber. Then they jump up at you and cover you in mud and hair, you have to hold them off and your hands are then dirty and stink of dog etc. There is also a maddening tradition in our local woods of picking up dog poo then hanging the little bag from a tree or bush, like some faeces fairy will collect it in the night. Wtf.

Some people (like me) don’t mind dogs at all but don’t want to be bounded up to.

Yanbu! I'm a dog owner, dogs should never approach other people unless instructed by their owner. Equally, parents it is never appropriate for your kids to run after my dog, end of

Mittens030869
You're right. It is limiting to go through life being intolerant of the fact people do things differently. People are allowed to exercise their dogs off lead. There are places that it's allowed and places that it's not. If someone is genuinely so obsessed with the view that evil dogs are waiting to attack then common sense says you just wouldn't go somewhere that's known for off lead dogs. You certainly wouldn't go there and then be arsey because something you don't like is somewhere you've chosen to visit.

I'm still wary of smaller dogs, which is in part I think a throwback from childhood, and partly because there seems to be a mentality of some small dog owners that their little yappy thing running at me / lunging at me on a lead / snapping at ankles / getting aggressive or defensive at the sight of my dogs ignoring them / trying to get to the treat bag in my pocket is just soooo cute and funny 🙄
It's not.

Because I've got medium to larger dogs in very aware that they need to be well trained because they could knock someone over, yet some owners think having a small dog (or worse a small, reactive dog) means everyone should tolerate their dog behaving awfully.

@Alsohuman

*People choose to pick up unsociable rescue dogs and then make the dog everyone else’s problem!

Every time I see a thread on here from a poster asking what dog would suit their family as first time dog owners and there’s a chorus of “Get a rescue” my heart sinks 😞*

This. It’s completely beyond me why people think it’s so bloody wonderful to take on a neurotic bundle of stress and hard work. There’s no way I’d do it. I bet an awful lot of them end up being handed back.

That's awful. They don't just hand revue dogs to anyone you know. It's actually bloody hard to get a rescue dog. there not going to give a difficult rescue dog to someone who isn't equipped for it. I've had three rescue dogs, two without issues and one that has because she was most likely beaten up as a puppy. you sneeze she still runs a mile 10 years later.

I've seen a lot of dogs ploughing into picnics lately and licking the food

Ffs where do you all live? I’ve spent more than six decades on this planet and never seen this happen once.

@Notredamn if there is no trauma or fear then quite OBVIOUSLY my post is neither aimed at or relevant to you, so I'm not sure why you replied.

@Alsohuman

I didnt really see a dog running into a group of picnic goers last week. I was lying. Happy now?

Alsohuman

I've also never seen this happen.

I've seen some fairly stupid picnic spots though during lockdown so I can well believe it could happen.

I passed one extended family/family and friends (around 10-12 people including children) having a picnic in the middle of a shared use off road footpath/cycle path! They also made a massive scene when I walked round the corner with my dogs (because dogs are obviously totally terrifying and require hysterical jumping and arm waving 🙄) and then as I was further up the path I heard members of the group screaming when a family on bikes went past.
I almost think they'd have deserved to have their picnic ruined by a bike / dog for having a stupid illegal mass gathering in a stupid place.

One of mine crashed a picnic once.

It was embarrassing and I’ve been watching the bastard like a hawk now.

[quote Wolfgirrl]@Alsohuman

I didnt really see a dog running into a group of picnic goers last week. I was lying. Happy now?[/quote]
So it’s gone from “a lot of dogs” to “a dog”.

Completely agree @LolaSmiles, some of the places I’ve seen picnics happening have astonished me. It’s like lockdown’s relieved some people of every shred of common sense.

The other dog was not under any kind of control, the owner wasn't even in sight to start with, and no one expected the owner to be a mind reader, I explained to him twice why my dog didn't want to be harrassed by his, and he deliberately let it go to do it again, after I'd brought it back and asked him to just stop his dog running after mine for a couple of minutes so we could leave the field. He actually said 'oh it's no good you trying to walk away she will just chase you

Next time tell the owner once. If s/he doesn’t listen and allows the dog to approach yours again let your dog sort it out. Usually all it takes is a warning growl (maybe a snap) and other dog will clear off.

My dogs are not reactive at all. They have their play in the morning. I don’t want unruly dogs bothering them when they are walking nicely to heel.

I don’t mind a dog coming to say hello and have a sniff and then buggar off but if it’s bouncing all over me or my dogs I hold it’s collar or put him on my dogs lead, wait until the owner turns up, ask him, “Is this yours?” They’ll come back with something like, “Yes. He’s a buggar. He won’t come back”. Then I say, “You can get a long line in Pets at Home. They are great for working on recall. Anyway mine are not up for playing. They are working. Here. Put a lead on him”. They usually do before walking off, embarrassed 😉

As I said earlier nobody likes strange dogs bouncing all over them. They are a pain in the arse, whether you have a reactive dog or not.

Because like I've said, @Carrotgirl87 one of my children is frightened of them. I'm not going to ban family days out at our local parks so that feral canines can run wild, dream on 😂

@Alsohuman

I have honestly never seen a poster as pedantic as you.

That dog was the most recent example. I have seen it happen quite a few times.

Thank you @Wolfgirrl, you’ve made my day. Accuracy is very important to me.

@Notredamn I never asked you to 🤷🏻‍♀️ I agreed with the OP.

I said I why would someone with a horrific phobia of dogs go to a place that's renowned to be full of dogs.

If my kid had a terrible phobia of cows I wouldn't take him to a farm either.

@Alsohuman but you were not accurate. I gave an example of the last time I sawa dog do this and you somehow interpreted that as it was the only time.

What nonsense @Carrotgirl87 dogs are every where you look, no one should be cooped up at home all day because some owners are too selfish to recall or leash their dogs away from people who are either frightened of them, or just don't wish to interact with them.

I'm still wary of smaller dogs, which is in part I think a throwback from childhood, and partly because there seems to be a mentality of some small dog owners that their little yappy thing running at me / lunging at me on a lead / snapping at ankles / getting aggressive or defensive at the sight of my dogs ignoring them / trying to get to the treat bag in my pocket is just soooo cute and funny 🙄
It's not

Yes... always followed by, “He thinks he’s a rottie 😂”

🙄🤷🏻‍♀️

You like making up things huh?

I said why take someone with a phobia to somewhere renowned for being full of dogs?

As in a dog walking spot.

If you don't do this then my post is NOT relevant to you.

I wouldn't take my child with a phobia of dogs to a dog walkers field. Whether on leads or not it's not very nice for the child to be forced to see something he's afraid of. If you would just to be stubborn then bully for you.

Have you ever considered taking your children to a nice day out at a stately home?

@Carrotgirl87 not sure who you’re addressing but I’m not taking my children to a ‘dog walking spot’ as I am actively avoiding the parts of the park where there are big open spaces for dogs to run and play fetch. I’m talking about minding my own business using the path to access the parkland/feed the ducks/ride their bikes. Yes there are dogs everywhere but most of them are not a problem (today out in the park we saw a handful of dogs, not one was an issue, and my children were fine). It’s just the minority who are not thinking about anyone except their beloved hound

Totally agree with you op, lost count of the times I've had one of the kids knocked over (and made filthy with muddy paws on their front) by an uncontrolled dog. My middle child is terrified of dogs for this reason. The owners usually laugh and say oooops sooooorrry (as in, I really couldn't give a shit that my dog just bowled your toddler over). Fwiw before the kids we had dogs and one was well behaved and the other wasnt, so was always kept on a lead.

There are all kind of dogs, dog owners and people in park, and all reasonable and not reasonable.

We have a lovely park in our town, one part that is dogs on leads only, beautiful with trees, flowers, water features and benches as well as lovely grass areas. You then have a large plain grass area where does can be off the lead.

Most people who have a picnic there are not bothered by dogs aporoaching and happy to pet them but some will go bonkers and I can't help but wonder why they would choose to go to that part of the park instead of the other.

Then you have those who let their dogs run free in the part where they are not allowed.

You have dogs on leads much more aggressive than dogs not on. You have idiots who think it's ok to let their dogs of the lead when they go and attack others.

Then you have people who totally freak out when they see a dog 10 metres away from them and give you dirty looks because your dog is running in the area they are allowed to.

Op I agree with you. It's annoying when strange dogs approach and jump up. I don't like it either. It's inconvenient.

But I'm not afraid of them.

My bugbear here is when people or their children have a genuine fear or phobia and yet they still go to places where this is highly likely just because they don't have imagination to go somewhere other than the park. Where dogs are. And subject their kids to the thing they're afraid of, knowing it's likely to happen, and then bitch and moan about it.