To be utterly exasperated with the ‘but she’s really friendly’ dog owners out there

[Flamingolingo]

You know the kind - the ones who holler after their bounding dog who barks and bows and jumps at you about how friendly they are.

I feel like since lockdown I’ve had multiple altercations with people and their marauding dogs. Especially either while out running or out with my small children who are terrified.

That’s not to say there aren’t loads of really responsible dog owners out there who do try and call their dog back/put it on the lead, but the few who make no attempt other than shout about their friendliness really get my goat. For clarity: we are mostly using city centre green space, that is quite busy, I think in a rural location it’s a little different.

So I guess my Aibu is about my being annoyed at people who assume everyone wants their ‘friendly’ dog to bound into their social space, and who make no attempt to call their dog back unless specifically asked to.

@Ohffs66

alsohuman do you have any idea at all what a reactive dog is???!! Or about dog behaviour and body language?? Or are you deliberately being obtuse and goady?

It's not a case of 'letting her play' AT ALL, christ I wish it was, my life would be so much easier. Mine is a rescue with unknown history, she is very badly socialised, we have done lots of work with behaviourists and classes and positive reinforcement, but she still finds strange dogs a threat, regardless of their size, and will snap and lunge at them (never bitten but I am not willing to take the chance!). She can have dog friends, but it has to be done slowly, and with monitored introductions / interactions. Not some random twat's dog making a beeline for her from miles away then jumping all over her, who would no doubt make a massive fuss if my dog snapped at his or nipped it, especially as mine is a big lump and his was tiny. Christ on a bike.

There will be lots and lots of dogs who are not friendly and don't want to play, either permanently or temporarily due to illness etc, and whilst I know full well it's my problem not the general public's, I do my best to keep her to quiet areas and make sure she is under control if there are other dogs around. ALL dogs should be under control if they are not on the lead, don't get me wrong I know the odd incident happens, but having a dog that you know is completely uncontrollable, and just allowing it to do whatever it wants, like this bloke, is a recipe for disaster.

You didn’t even mention having a reactive dog. You said absolutely nothing about him! Really sorry I didn’t get my crystal ball out but please don’t rant and rave at me because I’m not clairvoyant.

And what @FinnegansWhiskers said

Yanbu

I was fostering a very nervous traumatised dog and I had to keep her close and away from pretty much everyone !

Annoys
Me too

HaudMaPup (5mths but must be 15kgs) is the perfect little off lead heel walker right now UNTIL he sees someone in the distance then he's struck down with deafness and disobedience.
This morning I seen walkers coming towards us in the distance so popped his lead back on until we were past. All fine until the guy decides that he wants to talk to pup and charges right up to us fussing over pup and making him jump up. Next thing pup jumps up in the air, reaches the end of his lead before falling back onto the ground on his side with heartbreaking whine. I help get pup untangled and make sure he's Ok, meanwhile random walker pest stands over me shouting "he's only a puppy he only wants to play with me".
I got so angry I turned and told random walker to "Fuck off out of my personal space and leave my pup alone".

Not my finest moment but when you are trying to do the right thing by being a responsible dog owner only to have your work ruined or pup injured by people who know fuck all.

As a dog owner, I get heartily sick of people who see us coming and scream and jump on benches when my dogs are minding their own business and now going anywhere near them.

I get sick of people who allow their children to come up to my dogs and try to stroke them and then scream.

I have a Chihuahua who is partially paralysed. I can't put a lead on him as it would be cruel. If a lead or harness is placed on him he can't walk and I end up sort of dragging him along so I will not do that. He walks along at his own pace. One day he will not be able to walk at all. I look at every day as a blessing to be honest. He is timid and keeps his head down unless we see another little dog and then he livens up somewhat.

One day a woman running past him, stopped and screamed in my face about not having him on a lead. Her face went a purpley sort of colour. She would not let me even speak. I stood and took the abuse and then moved away at which point she followed me and carried on shouting.

I understand some people do not like dogs. To them I would say, my dogs have every right to walk in the park with me. If you don't like it, then avoid us because we are not going away to suit you.

My dogs are well behaved. they mind their own business when we are out walking. Sometimes I will stop and speak to another dog owner and our pets socialise for a few minutes; otherwise they stay with me at all times.

People whose children are 'terrified' period, should be ashamed of themselves for projecting their fear onto their darling offspring.
..put that in your pipe and smoke it :(

Those who have had food snatched, have any of you had your stolen or ruined picnics replaced by the irresponsible dogs owners?

Ancient Yoda looking creature once collapsed face first in our banana cake and ate some of the icing. It had been trying to get to our picnic all day and failing because it was a million years old and couldn't cover the distance before the owner noticed and carried it back

We didn't really care but the owner insisted on giving us money for the cake, like 2 quid, we'd bought it reduced in a farm shop

Then when they left later they walked past to apologise again and we were eating the cake

Anyone who screams about a chihuahua off lead minding its own business has really big issues @Anordinarymum. I hope you have many more walks with him.

@Alsohuman

Anyone who screams about a chihuahua off lead minding its own business has really big issues *@Anordinarymum*. I hope you have many more walks with him.

Alsohuman thank you for that :) My other dog is a pug. She is a handful but when we are out walking I am firm and harsh. The walk is for everyone to enjoy not just her :)

I would also like to say that some people's children are really badly behaved in public places. Perhaps they should be the ones on a lead and then there would be no problems at all :) :) :)

I would also like to say that some people's children are really badly behaved in public places. Perhaps they should be the ones on a lead and then there would be no problems at all

I couldn't agree more - and mine always knew I had a rein in my purse if they didn't mind their p's and q's and I would use it!

I have my dog on a lead and then people come over to say hi and she turns into a bouncy loon. Really hard to socialise a dog in lockdown she doesn't do it with us.

Our local council has established a fenced area where dogs can run around off the lead. It's in the large grounds of a leisure centre where people like to walk, run, play a bit of football on and around the grass pitches. Dog owners are no longer permitted to let their dogs run free outside the fenced area. All I can say is thank Christ, as I was sick of being accosted by people's 'friendly' and 'harmless' dogs, jumping up, weaving around my kids' ankles and scaring the crap out of them. We don't have a dog ourselves, but my SIL has two very lively dogs and my children absolutely love them, so they aren't generally frightened of dogs. But they have, at times, been petrified by unfamiliar dogs bounding towards them - and rightly so. Most dog owners are abiding by the new rule, but there are still some who think the rules don't apply to them.

When we used to go to in laws one dog used to jump up on me the other would head butt my bum. I always felt like the uptight one from comedy films as I stood there trying not to say anything.

@AnOrdinaryMum

I posted a similar situation to yours up thread ^^ A family of 3 terrorised an elderly lady because her dog wasn’t on a lead. Dog was perfectly behaved. The bully had a reactive pug. Instead of picking the pug up to pass he, and his family, chose to reduce an elderly lady to quivering wreck! (Not saying you are elderly btw but that’s irrelevant).

People choose to pick up unsociable rescue dogs and then make the dog everyone else’s problem!

Every time I see a thread on here from a poster asking what dog would suit their family as first time dog owners and there’s a chorus of “Get a rescue” my heart sinks 😞

*People choose to pick up unsociable rescue dogs and then make the dog everyone else’s problem!

Every time I see a thread on here from a poster asking what dog would suit their family as first time dog owners and there’s a chorus of “Get a rescue” my heart sinks 😞*

This. It’s completely beyond me why people think it’s so bloody wonderful to take on a neurotic bundle of stress and hard work. There’s no way I’d do it. I bet an awful lot of them end up being handed back.

@AhBallix

Our local council has established a fenced area where dogs can run around off the lead. It's in the large grounds of a leisure centre where people like to walk, run, play a bit of football on and around the grass pitches. Dog owners are no longer permitted to let their dogs run free outside the fenced area. All I can say is thank Christ, as I was sick of being accosted by people's 'friendly' and 'harmless' dogs, jumping up, weaving around my kids' ankles and scaring the crap out of them. We don't have a dog ourselves, but my SIL has two very lively dogs and my children absolutely love them, so they aren't generally frightened of dogs. But they have, at times, been petrified by unfamiliar dogs bounding towards them - and rightly so. Most dog owners are abiding by the new rule, but there are still some who think the rules don't apply to them.

That really sounds great!

Alsohuman the first sentence of my post is below - it says reactive quite clearly. Hence my response.

Just returned from a dog walk. Huge (huge!) empty field, reactive Ddog playing happily off lead with her toy as no other dogs around

finneganswhiskers we don't go to busy places or at busy times. this is an absolutely massive field that usually has about 3 other people/dogs in it max (it was 6am this morning and until pest dog turned up there was no-one else there at all), there is plenty of space for everyone to keep away from each other, and everyone usually does, been going there for 3 years with no problems until today!

There are many popular, prettier, busier, nice dog walking parks / open spaces nearby, this is not one of them! We drive past all of them to go here for precisely the reasons you say.

Ddog is even more reactive walking on lead in proximity to other dogs, so other than keeping her in completely, or hiring a private field (which we do, but the nearest one is 20 miles away so not a daily possibility) this is the best option locally.

Re other dogs, she will allow a bit of a bum sniff and a hello, but her body language is very tense, and she clearly doesn't want to play, and will snap if the other dog won't leave her alone. Usually the other dog reads this and wanders off, or the owner calls it away, no problem. We take her to classes where she is learning to socialise, and it's good for her to see other dogs at a distance for positive reinforcement.

My post this morning wasn't really about my dog as such, it was more about the owner's attitude, and in response to the OP - it kind of doesn't matter that it was my dog it ran up to out of the blue, it could have been a small child who is scared of dogs, or someone with an allergy, or someone on crutches. It was the owner's surprise / indignance that I expected him to have some sort of control over his dog, or just pop it on a lead for 2 minutes, regardless of my reason for asking. Most people understand, even if they don't like it.

As someone with a fear of dogs (more so as a child, but still there) I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve been reassured that a dog is ‘friendly’ or ‘won’t hurt you’. I get that it IS intended as reassurance, but suspect that some people can’t see why you wouldn’t want their dog approaching you. Have to say though, off lead dogs seem really well behaved to me 99% of the time. I’m certainly not ‘friendly’ to the other 1%!

As a dog owner I’m always flabbergasted at how little control Some people have over their dogs.

Unless a dog immediately comes to a call/whistle and stops dead on command it shouldn’t be off the lead Esp in places with lots of people.These are all the commands a dog needs day to day yet most puppy classes seem to faff around doing fancy cruft level obedience tricks Brushing over basics in favour of finding a treat under cups. And people use their dogs as some kind of status symbol/friend maker.

There is an unwritten rule that if a dog owner approaches an on lead dog they keep their dog under control or put it in lead to pass on lead dog. Most dog owners do this because an on lead dog is usually aggressive and nobody wants their dogs face taken off!

There is also the unwritten rule that if a dog is off lead it’s friendly and up for play.

On this occasion your dog was off lead. Other dog approached.

Nobody wants some strange dog jumping over them or their dog, regardless of whether their dog is friendly or reactive. However, friendly dogs are usually taken into large enclosed areas for the purpose of having a stress free run around with other friendly, off lead dogs.

In this case your dog was off lead. I’m not sure why you call the other owner a twat. He is not a mind reader.

My dogs have a run around every morning In a large field with other off lead dogs. There is always someone with an on lead dog demanding everyone else’s dogs are put on lead, regardless of what time. Their afternoon walk is offlead in the woods. Where they can have a sniff in the undergrowth without having to be called back every two minutes to pass on lead dogs, hysterical parents or children chasing them.

Walking well trained dogs in public places is becoming a chore. We seem to be screamed at, called twats and given filthy looks because we don’t have to walk our dogs on lead.

My dogs walk to heel when I need to call them in. The venture about 10 foot away. They have solid recall. They don’t approach other dogs, people or children but if they are not constantly on lead it isn’t good enough for some people. I’m so glad I know lots of people with friendly dogs and don’t have to rely on cycle tracks and parks to walk.

They will continue to have their morning run around in a large field. I will not put them on a lead to satisfy some cantankerous person who has enough space to pass with her aggressive dog - but chooses to walk where the dogs are playing. Her dog is on lead. Mine wouldn’t approach them. If she can’t deal with off lead, friendly dogs playing together she is free to walk her unsociable, aggressive dog somewhere else. Her dog, her problem.

@finneganswhiskers was that aimed at me? I'm a bit confused if so because a) we weren't in a busy place at all b) we weren't choosing to walk where the other dog was playing, nowhere near it, it made a beeline for us as soon as it got into the field even though we were right over the otherside (2 football pitches away). The other dog was not under any kind of control, the owner wasn't even in sight to start with, and no one expected the owner to be a mind reader, I explained to him twice why my dog didn't want to be harrassed by his, and he deliberately let it go to do it again, after I'd brought it back and asked him to just stop his dog running after mine for a couple of minutes so we could leave the field. He actually said 'oh it's no good you trying to walk away she will just chase you'.

After us it approached an on-lead dog where the owner clearly wasn't keen as he was trying to walk away but it kept following him, again the owner made no effort to call it back.

There was indeed plenty of space to pass, if pest dog had been under control (didn't need to be on lead, or even particularly near it's owner given the size of the place), we could have all continued using the field happily. Us being in the field with you and your dogs as you describe them above wouldn't have been a problem at all, you'd barely have noticed us. Your dogs have recall and wouldn't approach us directly from the other side of a large field. That's all we need! There may well be "cantankerous" reactive dog owners that go to busy dog exercise places and demand everyone else puts their dogs on lead, I'm certainly not one of them.

No-one with a reactive dog chooses it, it can be really hard and upsetting, and a little bit of understanding from other dog owners goes a really long way.

Yes completely, this happened yesterday to me. The woman said the dog is friendly and it bounded over to me at put its front legs on my waist.

People whose children are 'terrified' be ashamed of themselves for projecting their fear onto their darling offspring..put that in your pipe and smoke it

Only one of my children is terrified and that's because he is autistic. I said before that I would not explain or justify but some people are so small minded and eager to patronise that they can't fathom that there could possibly be more reason other than being socialised to be frightened of dogs, which would make one very afraid of dogs. Another reason is being a victim of a past dog attack.
So stick that in your nasty pipe and take a long drag.

Funny how so many dog lovers here can't hide their contempt for people's children, by the way. 'Precious offspring', calling a baby 'it'. Nice people.

You'd think people with serious phobias or trauma related to dogs would avoid walking in commonly known dog walking areas or something.

Like parks? :/ most people here who don't want dogs jumping up at them simply don't like dogs. Dog people want to paint them as in turn 'over reacting' to something. There is no trauma here, or terror. I just am not interested in your dog. Keep it away from me and especially my children. We don't welcome your dog.