Would you call 22 years old

[Vivana]

Very young to have a baby. Was talking to a friend who said I was to young back then to have a baby at 22 years old. Now early 40s and did not have any more children.

Her thing was though that none of her friends parents play with them. They sit and watch with the occasional 'that's nice' alot of her friends parents are around the 50 mark.
I know that's true because they were the same at baby groups, sit with a brew while the kids play (try to kill each other)

I was 22 when I had my first and I ignored them as much as possible at every baby group I ever went to if I’m at playgroup I want to have a coffee and chat to other grown ups while my kid does their own thing (in view, of course). They were/are all played with, read to, talked to, etc etc more than enough at home and they’re all lovely children despite my terrible neglect to this day I don’t particularly like playing pretend play type stuff; it’s not an age thing!

@FiveToFour everyone should be a fairy princess all the time 🤣 who doesn't love a good nap after lunch?

It’s young by today’s standards, at 22 I was still at uni and travelled the world at 24. I was a million miles away from marriage and babies in my 20s even though I met my husband at uni. For me and my circle of friends 20s were for enjoying, establishing a career, travel and general fun, most of my friends also met their husbands at uni or early 20s, so it wasn’t that they hadn’t met anyone. 30s we all settled down, got married and had children. Biologically 22 is much better to have a baby, but early 30s is more the norm as women have other things to be doing other than settling down and having children.

My grandmother had her first at 22, my mum had hers at 21 and I had mine at 21. I am 30 this year and the idea of still not having my children seems so odd to me. The DC have caused me to grow up in to a different adult to the one I would have done, and I think a better one for it.

I'd say that's a conversation children have often alright.

Not really, I had mine at 21 and now have my 40s to do what I want without the stress of childcare restrictions.

My mum was 22 when she had me. She had finished having children by the time she was 26. She married my dad when they were 20; they had both been working for four years by the time they got married. My mum then became a SAHM and continues to have a lovely life. My DC were born when she was only a couple of years older than I am now, so she and Dad have also been relatively young and active grandparents. They're now 72 and have no significant health problems, so I haven't been stuck in the 'looking after young children and elderly parents' situation.

I think it's a brilliant age to have children. I did fuck all in my 20s (I did achieve a string of top-notch qualifications, and have used none of them since having my first DC at 30). Being a divorced ex-SAHM is no picnic. If I could do it again, I'd have children much earlier.

I was 22, 26, nearly 28 having mine and it’s been great. 22 wasn’t too young, although I did have a stable relationship, had done all my travelling & partying & been working for a while, we bought a house while I was pregnant - did it all under the ‘right’ circumstances if you like. My kids have opened doors and opportunities for me that I’d never have expected so I’ve been very lucky that way. I love that by the time I’m 40-odd, they’ll be teens or nearly there, relatively independent and me and DH will have lots of freedom and hopefully more money than we had in our 20s to do all the fun stuff we’re planning

I think 15/16/17/18 is too young to have a baby.

It doesn’t really care what anyone else’s opinion is though, so long as you’re happy? It’s your life.

IL did this meant by early 40's they were child and mortgage free they enjoyed their 40 s & 50s lost of exotic holidays weekends away.

GC came along in their early 50s - they worked full time but were young and fit enough to do things with them on visits and early retirement years.

According to them some of their friends and family regettered taking on full time childcare for GC in early retiremnet years - so MIL came around to being "young GM" though asking them for childcare was never on the cards as far as we were concerned.

Now kids are teens and less keen on doing things and start of ill health and joint issues from worklife have started to be felt in them - so worked out well for them.

So while now adays it's young - can work really well and probably why in some communities younger parenthood is still fairly common.

I had my first child at 21 and I didn't think it was too young back in 1992.

That child had his first child at 20 in 2012 and I felt that was too young. I was a 42 year old grandmother too!

Now, I do feel that 22 is very young.

It’s young not too young

I think it depends what you want in life.

Once you have a baby your life isn’t your own in the same way and many are just not ready for that at 22 and some are

By today's standards, yes, very young but most girls were married by 21 in days gone by and had children straight away. The well educated and professional were maybe 25/26. My neighbours are in their seventies and she was 18 when they married, had first at 19.

Those of my peers who married and had children at a tender age are always glad their children waited a bit longer and encourage that. Not too long of course, that is the other extreme.

War had an impact too. People either rushed into marriage because they thought there might be no tomorrow for them if the man was called up - or later because all the men were away fighting.

It's too young for me and unheard of in my circles. I only have 1 close friend who had children in their late twenties. Rest of us early/mid 30s.

I personally didnt want kids before being married, a home owner and having an established career. At 22 I was graduating uni, living in London, getting pissed mid week, going on lots of holidays, dedicating lots of time to running etc. I couldnt have done any of that with a child.

But I guess if you didnt go to uni, been working since 17/18, been able to buy your own home etc 22 could work for some. But I wanted my 20s to do as I liked. I dont think it is possible to capture that kind of freedom in any other decade.

But I wanted my 20s to do as I liked. I dont think it is possible to capture that kind of freedom in any other decade.

I’m managing this in my 40s quite well!

With more money than I’d have had in my 20s. Am doing all the great holidays now, 2 weeks in the Caribbean last summer. Spend all my days running, cycling, meeting friends for lunch, going to the gym. I’m glad I’m not burdened by small kids now.

It all depends on many things: maturity, stability, outlook, plans in life etc. I had my DC at 18, 31 and 36. I'd say I've done a good job with all 3! But I definitely wasn't emotionally mature enough at 18. It was hard and I still lived at home.

At 31 I'd a professional job, a home, financially much better off with job security, much more life experience and a much mature outlook on life.

Had my 3rd and last at 36 and have been knackered ever since!

So at 22 I think it all depends on 'where you are' in life.

It is young but not too young. Everyone is different. Having children wasn't even on my radar in my 20s, I was just enjoying being an adult and doing as I pleased. While I was at uni a good friend of mine from school was starting her family and I remember thinking she was crazy but she used to say that when her children were grown up she'd be young enough to live her life as she pleases then. She then had her 4th DC when I had my first, so that's not really the case, her whole life has been taken over by children. Saying that, I don't think she regrets it, but children have been her life whereas I feel as though I've lived another life before children which helps keep me going on tough days!

I was 17 when I had DS and 24 when having DD. I was not classed as a young mother at 24 and nor did I feel like one.
There is such thing as a 22 year old girl and a 22 year old woman IMO.

Dds words the other week 'I love having a young mum, you're so fun, you know how to play the games I want to play, you make me happy when I'm upset. My friends are so jealous, they hate having older mums because they don't do anything together'

I wonder who taught her to think that way about older mums?

15 is too young to have a baby 22 you are an adult so yes it is young but now you are in your 40s you have years ahead of you and can relax it isn't a huge deal if you didn't go back packing at 20 or waited until you were established in a career.

Yy JacobReesMogadishu, same.

Have also very recently signed up for a second degree in something I'm passionate about. Feeling so positive in life in general (despite this current shit-show).

It was the norm years and years ago to get married and have children Young. Obviously this isn’t the case as much now and people are waiting longer to settle down etc.

22 isn’t particularly young though. I had my first at 19 and second at 23.

@MrsNoah2020

Dds words the other week 'I love having a young mum, you're so fun, you know how to play the games I want to play, you make me happy when I'm upset. My friends are so jealous, they hate having older mums because they don't do anything together'

I wonder who taught her to think that way about older mums?

Definitely wasn't me. We have never spoken about how old I was, and how old her friends mums are. Its maybe not about age, but about personality like someone else said.

I didn’t finish university till a month before my 23rd birthday so 22 would have been “too young“ for me to have a baby (no job, no career, no home!)
But that’s not the case for someone who left school between 16&18 and went straight into a job.

Surely it depends on your income and extended family set up too?

Not many couples at 22 an afford for the woman not to work, or to pay for full time childcare.

IME women who have children so young have usually not had an uni education, or are in low skilled work, or live in a cheap area of the UK, or have parents around to do childcare, or a DH who is older and is earning a good salary.

I assume posters like @JacobReesMogadishu are fairly affluent as they did two degrees later in life and don't appear to work in their 40s (sorry if wrong!)

Not many young people in the south east can afford to do this.

Here, the cheapest house ( 2 bed) is around £250- 300K, so you can imagine the income needed for that.