Would you call 22 years old

[Vivana]

Very young to have a baby. Was talking to a friend who said I was to young back then to have a baby at 22 years old. Now early 40s and did not have any more children.

I was 22 with DC1 and 24 with DC2. I'm 28 now and if I could go back I would have waited a little bit longer.

One of my best friends was 22 when she fell pregnant with her son. 5 years later and there's only one other person in our immediate friendship group who's now expecting their first baby. My best friend from school was 24 when her daughter was born which I think is still quite young. I'm 27 and honestly don't feel mature enough to be responsible for a human being and I've always been very sensible

My mum had me at 23. That was about average for her friends and family at the time (I'm 50)

She always said she was too young and she'd have done a better job if she'd waited 5 years (umm, thanks?) She felt she lacked life experience, self-confidence and a sense of perspective.

I’m in my early 30s and only I and one of my friends have children. I had my first at 25 and in my social circle that was young and my other friend only had her first child this year. 22 would definitely have been very young. It does seem to depend on where you live though as where my parents live most young women have a child by the time they’re 21/22.

"I think that's young to have a baby and is well below the average age."

But twenty years ago it wasn't. Even twenty years ago the scanning, tests, help for infertility wasn't as good as it is now. If you absolutely wanted live babies, you had to start trying in your twenties.

As said, not everyone wants a University education, or even if they want one, they can't. Not everyone wanted global travel and again twenty years ago it was more expensive, not as safe for women and a lot more hassle to organise.

I wouldn't use the term "too young", but would rather say "not in the position to have one", which can happen at any age.

@NameChange84, I was pregnant at 17. My BF was slightly older and owned his own home. It was 1984 in Thatcher's Liverpool, my options were limited at the time. I knew I wanted children. University came later, under a Labour government. For me, being pregnant at 17 was fine. My DD had ADHD and I think being younger made me open minded about her difficulties and gave me the energy to cope.

It’s going yes but not too young? I had my first at 23 (and 1 day!), I was the first of my friends by a long shot. I’d had three by the time I was 30. It was bloody great being a youngish mum tbh I’m glad I did it at that age

Yes, its young. Not necessarily too young. I was 21 when I had my first, had just bought a house, stable DP (now DH). We had good family support although not able to help with routine childcare as all GPs still working, although they had ds for days/overnight on weekends from time to time.

I worked in an office but left to go to uni as a mature student. I graduated at 27 and have been accelerating in my career ever since. Studying with young kids was difficult but no harder than working ft and at least my schedule was a bit more flexible.

My DPs were also young parents, as were my dad's parents. So my parents were grandparents at just past 40, and my grandad was a great grandparent at 60.

Like previous posters I was very much the youngest at every baby group and at the school gates and found myself quite unwelcome which was a shame.

Reproductively I was in my prime in earlier twenties, sailed through pregnancies and had lots of energy for night duties and chasing toddlers. Now I'm late thirties, kids are 15 and 17 and I still feel like I've got a whole life ahead of me.

Saying that, I would be concerned if my kids had children that young. Adolescence seems so prolonged for so many young adults, although not all by any means.

I'd call under 20 very young. 20-24 young but not very young. 25-34 no comment. 35+ older.

I had my now 14 year old at 22.

Wow Im 40 withbyoung children. I absolutely cannot imagine being a grandparent at this age! I dont know anyone who is!!

@Ponoka7 Your daughter and I must be the same age. My Mum was 38 but not the oldest at the school gates by any stretch...by 7 I’d been at around three classmates parent’s 50th birthdays! Most of my classmates Mums‘ had given birth to my classmates between 24 and 35 but there was one girl whose parents had her at 45 and loads in the late thirties. There was one teenage Mum, she was 19 when she’d had her 2nd dd (my classmate) and she did struggle financially.

I was 16 20 years ago and even then, amongst all my older cousins and siblings, most people in our local community etc chose to start families in their late 20s early 30s not teens or early 20s. Northern working class city but middle class family/community.

Youngish but not to young I had my first at 24 was finished by 29. I was the youngest at toddler groups etc. I was the youngest mum at school. My youngest told me the other day I was the youngest mum in her friendship group by a considerable way. But I'm glad I had them young.

Far too young for me, but if it was right for you then that's fine :)

Having adult dc at home is no obstacle for having your life back/freedom.

Agree- I don’t see how having an adult DC at home means you still haven’t got your ‘life’ or ‘freedom’ back.

I lived at home age 20 when my parents were in their early 40s. They knew couples the same age with toddlers or very young primary age kids. My parents pretty much had their freedom back in comparison- sleep, time, didn’t have to worry about childcare for jobs or do school runs or deal with tantrums, holidays, could go out for meals and away for weekends without a spare thought and all those other things you take for granted. I think that’s mainly what people mean they talk of getting a life back.

I'm mid 30s and I'd consider myself too old to start having babies now

I find that really odd!

I had mine early 30s and my Mum had my sister at 37.

Many people don't meet Mr Right in time to have kids young- it's not always by choice women have them later.

I have a 20 something at home it doesn't hinder us at all I. Don't see how it would. I had my eldest just a month of 22 I really wasn't that unusual where I live to have babies in your early 20s

I had mine at 22 and have a 14 year old so not ages ago. I don’t think I was to young. We had no house, money and I couldn’t drive. We made it work pay check to pay check and brought our home 2 years ago. Everything else we slowly ticked off the list even getting married.

Young? Yes. (Average age for first baby in UK is 29 so it is significantly quite young).

Too young? That depends entirely on the circumstances.

I was 22 when I had my first baby. I had just graduated from university. I'm 41 now and have had two more children, career is good - having a child in my early 20's didn't hinder that. I continued to work and did my masters while working part time.
I probably would have liked to have travelled but apart from that my friends who didn't have kids until their late 20's didn't really achieve anything that I didn't in those extra few years. They just had a few more holidays and nights out than I did.
I have zero regrets.

@willowdean

Having adult dc at home is no obstacle for having your life back/freedom.

Agree- I don’t see how having an adult DC at home means you still haven’t got your ‘life’ or ‘freedom’ back.

I lived at home age 20 when my parents were in their early 40s. They knew couples the same age with toddlers or very young primary age kids. My parents pretty much had their freedom back in comparison- sleep, time, didn’t have to worry about childcare for jobs or do school runs or deal with tantrums, holidays, could go out for meals and away for weekends without a spare thought and all those other things you take for granted. I think that’s mainly what people mean they talk of getting a life back.

Did they by chance get their lives back because you waited to have kids? I imagine if you had kids at 20 and needed them for support then it might have been a different story!

I think it's entirely dependent on the individual. It would have been young for me as I was at uni, partying etc, and even at 26 when I had dc1 I felt too young tbh. For others it's the right age completely and I can see the advantages, had I had mine earlier I'd have a lot more freedom now in early 40s than I do have and still be young enough to enjoy that freedom.

For me it would be far too young, and i would be a bit disappointed if my dds had babies so young, but i would support them any way i could.
It may have been the perfect age for you, everyone is different, with different circumstances

I find that really odd!

I find it odd that people don't understand different things work for different people. No way would I have wanted to have kids mid thirties, as mine were pretty much through primary school at that point.

Just because people want to do things at different points in their lives doesn't make one odd or wrong compared to the other!

I'm a bit at the "your 20s are for partying"....a few years, sure, but your entire 20s? 10 YEARS of going out drinking after work and stumbling home? No thanks. I had a great time getting plastered at uni and going on holidays, but as soon as I graduated I was done with that life.

I felt at about 24+ I was ready to have kids - never been bothered about climbing up my career and most of my hobbies now at 27 involve nice walks, brunch, charity shops, board games and trampoline parks. Just the small matter of getting married and now trying to buy a bloody house in a really expensive part of the country. Stability really takes time, and what if you don't meet Mr Right until your 30s?

Yes I think that's too young. I had my first at 18 and was pregnant with the second at 22, I live my children, but wish I had lived a little before having so much responsibility.

I'd call under 20 very young. 20-24 young but not very young. 25-34 no comment. 35+ older.

Same. I've read a few times that 24-34 is the 'least risky and most likely for mother, baby, and everything to go well then and in the long-term' ages with the spaces on either side slowly getting riskier (the older side much slower than media likes to portray) with under 20s being the most risky time for everyone.

I did not meet that ideal for most of my kids, I had mine 19-26 and I'm aware that was a gamble & has had some issues for me, but I was also gambling family stories of early menopause and things. I think each person makes their own calculations on it.

Also, I didn't even drink alcohol until I was 30 and pretty much stopped with that experiment at ~32, so the idea of spending a decade doing it is lost on my homebody self. It really depends on the kind of life you want to lead and your options at different ages.