To say no to meeting up with my sister if she is getting on a train?

[Teacher12345]

My sister lives in Edinburgh and is hoping to make a visit to see us in Manchester at the beginning of August. She said car hire is too expensive so they are getting the train. Her trip is mainly to see parents but she has asked if I want to meet up too.
Without my family they are a group of 5. With us, 9 so not sure it is even allowed, especially as it is from 3 different households, but my main concern is that she is travelling by train. I am sure she will wear a mask on the train etc but I am uncomfortable at the idea.
I haven't seen her since Feb and feel awful but am I unreasonable?

YANBU to be worried about the train, but as some PP has pointed out, if you can see her very shortly after she's been on it, your risk will be relatively low.

A multi-hour train journey is probably enough that if she has the misfortune to be in a carriage where an infected person is present or has recently been present, then yes, she could possibly pick up the virus. However, case numbers are low right now, so the odds of that are pretty low, and October and unfortunately also end-of-year holidays will probably be riskier. If she's going to take that risk in order to see family, then now is probably a good time to do it. She can make the risk lower by washing her hands properly and choosing where to sit.

Hopefully by spring or summer of next year, if not earlier, we will have effective treatments to reduce the severity in most patients, and maybe even a vaccine.

This will not go on forever, even if right now it feels that way.

Why dont you pop over by yourself if they're sitting in the garden and say hi? Tell her you're not hugging if she tries.
My husband told me that if someone catches it they then have to 'develop' it in order to then be able to pass it on themselves but I think this may be bollocks!
It does sound like you're not that bothered about her though.

A lot of people have family members that make them feel uncomfortable or worried about the risk of coming into contact with the virus. Equally a lot of people are in the position where they themselves are working or travelling in a situation where they don't feel safe.

I wouldn't not see a relative or friend because they work in a supermarket, care home or travel by public transport. What I do, however, is make sure to see them outside and social distanced.

I would see her in a garden or such like. I would also teach your DC about social distancing.

I had to get multiple trains to my elderly mother's home recently - I hadn't seen her since Christmas, she is very isolated and needed to see me for her own deteriorating mental health as well as needing assistance with a few practical things. I was dreading having to use public transport, especially as it was the first time since late February that I'd left the 1.5 mile or so radius around my home! The only place I've been apart from home in six months is Lidl, ASDA and the chemists.

It was absolutely fine - seats are very clearly marked with only one in six seats available to sit it. The seat next to me, both seats in front and both seats behind me were blocked out - so nobody was anywhere near me and all the windows were open to ensure fresh air flow. Masks are compulsory and everyone I saw at each station and on each train was wearing a mask. I used lots of hand gel, used my sleeve to press buttons and washed hands well when I arrived. The trains were almost empty tbh, even during 'rush hour' when I travelled back via Manchester.

I took the view that it was needed for the sake of my mother's mental wellbeing (I've been increasingly concerned about her extreme anxiety lately) and she seems 1000x better for seeing me. It's been 13 days since I went and we've both been fine since. I have to say, it also did wonders for my mental health - I hadn't realised how 'down' I'd slowly been becoming tbh.

My mother's neighbour's daughter is an Intensive Care doctor working in London. She also had not visited family since Christmas, but did so happily by train last week as she felt the risk was now low enough. She did sleep in their camper van on the drive, had use of the downstairs loo to herself as it didn't require traipsing through the house and just sat out in their garden with them, to keep them safe - is something outdoors like that an option for you?

Project Fear has certainly worked.

When I was waiting at each train station, there were constant tannoy announcements about 'Only travel if it is absolutely essential' - 'Please consider other forms of transport such as walking, cycling or car if possible' - 'Public transport spaces are limited, please try to avoid using it if at all possible, so that essential workers can use it' and so on. People are only doing what they've been clearly advised to! Would you prefer people to swamp trains and buses and risk their health unnecessarily? Why would anyone wish to expose themselves to potentially serious illness when it could be avoided?

Honestly, @Teacher12345 - do what makes you feel comfortable. Other people's opinions count for little.

I'm currently semi-shielding here because there is a pneumonia-prone person living in the house, and I am being pretty fucking stringent about where we go and who we see, and I care not a damn what others think about this.

Roomba I'm sorry your mum has been struggling. I have similar concerns about my mum, particularly as she's homebound with a nasty slipped disc injury. I've been very worried about her feeling isolated and down.

I don't want to derail the thread (pardon the pun) but now while the risks are so low it's important to balance any risks with maintaining our mental health.. Just interacting with others, seeing family and friends is so valuable to our well being.

Apologies OP. Hope you enjoy the visit.