I look like a dick and care too much what people think

[TerracottaTortoise]

Started a new exercise regime on Monday just walking at first to try and build up a bit. I'm quite overweight and have neglected myself completely for years (I'm 35 now) as both my kids have disabilities and I just forgot about myself really.

I really want to get fit but can't help feeling like a total dick in my leggings and work out strappy top with all my wobbly bits jiggling away. I just feel like people look at me and think I'm completely ridiculous!
I'm sure in reality they give a toss but it's really holding me back!

So do you look at bigger people trying to exercise and think they're ridiculous or AIBU?

I'd look at you and think well done! I'm sure you look fine.

Whenever I see anyone having a run or brisk power walk I always think 'good for them'. It's been nice during the past few months to see so many people getting out and about and exercising

I honestly think "Good for him/her!" whenever I see an overweight person working on themselves.

I am a size 8 and 36. I have just recently gone back to the gym after a few failed attempts. I feel much more comfortable in baggy clothes because I am self conscious about the way that people will look at me and I know that I will distract me from exercising.

Because I am so skinny I am very aware that I can only lift much smaller weights than everyone. I think that other people think "well she might be skinny but she can't even lift 10-15kg so she is not that great"

Even though a majority of it is in my head it is based on what other people have said things to me and about other people in the past. Maybe you have memory of what people have said about larger people in the gym/exercising as a way of making themselves feel better.

When I exercise now I put on a podcast and it drowns out the chat in my head and helps me focus on the exercise. Spending some time on yourself may feel alien at first, but believe me it will be worth it in the end.

@onesteponepunchoneroundatatime

I am a size 8 and 36. I have just recently gone back to the gym after a few failed attempts. I feel much more comfortable in baggy clothes because I am self conscious about the way that people will look at me and I know that I will distract me from exercising.

Because I am so skinny I am very aware that I can only lift much smaller weights than everyone. I think that other people think "well she might be skinny but she can't even lift 10-15kg so she is not that great"

Even though a majority of it is in my head it is based on what other people have said things to me and about other people in the past. Maybe you have memory of what people have said about larger people in the gym/exercising as a way of making themselves feel better.

When I exercise now I put on a podcast and it drowns out the chat in my head and helps me focus on the exercise. Spending some time on yourself may feel alien at first, but believe me it will be worth it in the end.

Jeez, what a self centred post on a thread about being overweight - oh woe is me, I'm so skinny! Can you not see how lacking in empathy and boastful that sounds?!

I see all ages and shapes out exercising - the number out has definitely increased and become more noticeable.

I think nothing more of it other than a silent cheer for them and then pangs of guilt that I ought to be doing the same In fact seeing ordinary shapes and sizes out rather than just the serious super fit is reassuring and encouraging. Must boot myself up the bum to join them.

Not sure we read the same message there. She is giving good advice from a place of solidarity and common experience. It's possible for fat people and thin people to feel similarly about body consciousness, it isn't insensitive for onesteponepunchoneroundatatime to talk about that. It comes from society judging and commenting on all kinds of body shapes. Doesn't mean op will be upset a thin person extended the hand of friendship over this issue.

I can no longer run, and have put on loads of weight, I think 'good for you' when I see someone obviously trying to improve their health, losing weight is much harder when you are too arthritic to run!

Music or podcasts is a good idea from the pp, who although coming from a different angle, is offering helpful advice.

Am fat. Love hiking. Don’t give a shit what i look like when my beautiful, healthy, fat, 33 year old postnatal body had just carried me up a mountain.
You get out there and walk @TerracottaTortoise: wear whatever you want, enjoy the glorious feeling of moving your body for pleasure rather than punishment, and fuck what anyone else thinks

Most of us feel self conscious. Big or thin, most of us are not athletes so probably feel we're doing it wrong, hope people don't look at me etc. Reality is I barely ever notice people walking/running outside or exercising at the gym, I'm to focused on what I'm doing. And I can honestly say I have never thought anything negative about someone working out.

The only people I notice when exercising are the very special type of men who take over the machines, grunt loudly and sit on their phones on the machines so I can't use them....

Good luck OP and keep going!

I'm 45 and 13 stone and training for a half marathon having completed several quarter marathons last year. I don't care what people think. Why the fuck should I? I'm certainly not wearing 'trakky bottoms and a big t-shirt' as a PP kindly suggested. I'm wearing my Lululemon crops and a vest (muchos brassiere though but that's for my own physical comfort). Never had anyone look never mind comment!

Go ahead, wear what you want and hold your head high OP.

Please please don't feel self conscious. I'm a regular runner, not skinny but slim-ish. If I see an overweight person who appear to be starting to run, all that comes to mind is 'well done you, it must have taken guts to go and do it. Its really hard work to start with, so good on you to give it a go and don't care what strangers might think' and will smile.

I expect most regular runner think along the same line.

I would never judge anyone for getting fit whatever stage they are at. If anyone does then that’s an issue they have, nothing to do with you at all.

I didn't take my kid swimming for the first year of her life because I was worried about what people would think of me. I had to get over it. I'm massively overweight. I go once a week with her now. I'm still not happy about it, but it has to be done. Also, the worse thing people can think is: "she's fat" and that's not news to me. Also, they can tell I'm fat when I'm covered up in jeans and a long top.

If I see anyone exercising, especially if they're bigger I think "good for them". That's my honest thought - that's if I even notice. I'm in my own world most of the time. I'm a size 6 and feel embarrassed by my body too, so don't think that thinner people necessarily feel confident. I certainly don't.

There'll always be assholes around, since time and memorial. Ignore them they are a minority.

Whenever I see someone that may well have let themselves go, red faced and wobbling along the road I think only one thing.

Good on you.

Well, this thread has motivated me to go out this very morning and attempt to run! I'd better get going...

If I saw you I’d think “good for you!” Wish I had your discipline OP!

I think go girl .. I'm very unfit it impresses me to see anyone giving it a try!

I wouldn't judge I'd think good for you!

90% of the human race are inherently disinterested in anything going on outside their immediate bubble so won't even notice you. The rest will applaud and respect you. Imagine the motivation you may give to someone else trying to start their own journey x

YANBU. Rest in the knowledge that anyone who does look at you funny (and I don’t think they will) has serious issues and not worth an inch of space in your head.

No way would i ever think anything other than "go you!" I can hardly walk the length of myself so i have nothing but admiration for anyone who is making the effort well done x