I look like a dick and care too much what people think

[TerracottaTortoise]

Started a new exercise regime on Monday just walking at first to try and build up a bit. I'm quite overweight and have neglected myself completely for years (I'm 35 now) as both my kids have disabilities and I just forgot about myself really.

I really want to get fit but can't help feeling like a total dick in my leggings and work out strappy top with all my wobbly bits jiggling away. I just feel like people look at me and think I'm completely ridiculous!
I'm sure in reality they give a toss but it's really holding me back!

So do you look at bigger people trying to exercise and think they're ridiculous or AIBU?

I am (very) overweight myself and desperately need to restart a diet/exercise regime, but I can assure you that even if I was slim I would only ever be looking at someone in this situation with admiration. It takes a lot of mental strength and motivation to overhaul your lifestyle and commit to regular exercise and eating well, you should be really proud of yourself and hold your head up high.

I need to lose about 60lbs!!!

So what?! OP, you can do that - it's not an insurmountable mountain, honestly! I lost nearly that (well over 50lbs, anyway!) once I'd got in the mindset to start, and actually that's not much (just short of 4 stone in UK money !). It's very, very doable, OP. Don't lose faith. It won't be instant, of course it won't, but it will happen sooner than you think if you stick at it!

I am in good shape, I have all the gear and am regularly out pounding the roads and pavements, and have done plenty of fun-runs, triathlons and half marathons. Let me tell you, if I see someone obviously out for one of their earlier runs in the their new-found fitness/weightloss regime, I give them a massive smile, thumbs up, and think nothing other than 'good for you for getting out there and giving it a go'.

OP - good for you - you're beating everyone who is sat on their couch!

If I see someone out exercising who is obviously trying to shift a bit of weight (and I actually notice them!) the only thing I think is “good for you” they are obviously out giving it a good go. I’ve seen quite a few people out jogging lately I only noticed as it was so hot out, they were obviously pushing themselves really hard, all I have is admiration for them.

Hi. Good on you for exercising! You will feel and sleep much better for it. Most people round my area including me really only look to see if there is 2m between ourselves and whoever else is out. Never any judgement of size or shape or what others are wearing. Wear what feels comfortable and makes you feel good! The most attractive thing you can wear is a smile, makes my day every time I come across one! Good luck

I hate exercising in public, I always feel conspicuous too. Always need the loo after half an hour so don’t bother, just stick to the gym.
When I see someone with wobbly bits out walking or running, I just think “ good for her “. Just wear what you feel comfortable in, stick on your music, and forget everyone else.

I think 'good for you' as well.
Well done!

Seriously, i lost two stone eating well And walking, walking the streets for an hour a day in jeans and a sweater or jacket. The only thing i invested in was good walking shoes. Absolutely no one that passed me in the street or on the main road noticed me. I was an invisible woman walking to the shop or work or whatever.

If you aren’t comfortable dont wear them, you dont have to walk in public in Lycra and a sleeveless vest to lose weight.

I would only look at you and think good for you I wish I had your motivation. I’m not over weight but so bloody unfit and definitely a bit heavier than I’m most comfortable with . I have gone through periods where I excercise when I put on weight but can never keep it up long term even though It makes me feel so much better. Keep going op having the motivation to start is often the hardest part you are doing great.

I also give a mental 'hats off to you' whenever I see a bigger person out walking or jogging. The only dicks are any who would look at you -or anyone- exercising and thought anything else but Well Done You.

I look at other people and think well done them.

I don't think people take a lot of notice though to be honest - many have heads in phones wherever they go....

I admire anyone who has the motivation to go out and exercise, its more than ive got! well done

I think you are doing brilliantly just by getting out there and exercising.

If you take the approach, as is extremely loud and clear here, that people will think good in you then wear what you are in comfy and least hot.

Put how you feel physically best first. It's the July thing that really matters.

We all get hot and red and puffy. If I saw you out walking/jogging I'd give you a solidarity smile. Imitation at least a nod/hand raise depending how close to collapse I was at the time

As PP have said those of us who do regular exercise get a bit evangelical about how much better it makes you feel that we want everyone to join in so always send encouraging thoughts to others or share a wry grimace.

I cannot function at any speed higher than a walk when it's remotely hot so my advice is time your outings to the coolest part of the day of you can.

When I started couch to 5k I faffed about
all the time worrying what I looked like. About week 8 I finally decided/realised that all that mattered was that I was cool and comfy.

All you need is a proper sports bra (tick) and proper trainers. By that I mean something like ASICS which are designed to protect your joints and stop you injuring yourself and giving up.

All the rest matter not one bit. Tits supported, feet supported and you are good to go.

If we see people exercising, we always think wow well done you on getting out there.

You go, girl! You're exercising - that's fantastic! Good for you. Just another person doing their thing.

Like PPs, I think good for them when I see anyone exercising. And the occasional jealous thought if they're lifting heavier weights than me or improving faster than me. I think the majority of execisers are only interested in others' stamina, strength, progress and determination.

I hate gym leggings (I have no desire to look at my own camel toe when bending over. 😁), so wear thin shorts over them. The only thing woman needs to worry about on top is a comfortable supportive bra. But remember darker colours show less the sweat.

YABU for beating yourself up so much.

Wear whatever you feel comfortable in. If you don't like the workout top and the jiggling, get some bigger, loose tops and walk in those, and get some looser sweatpants too, if you feel more comfortable.

Don't concern yourself with the opinion of the odd smug jerk. You can do something about your weight and fitness, but they are for the most part stuck with a nasty personality.

Be kind to yourself. The vast majority of people are thinking 'Good for her!'

DH and I have so much admiration for larger people who go out running. We’d love to high give them or beep the horn as encouragement, but we assume that you’d think we were piss taking, so we never do. We have your back and think you are awesome. Go girl!

I’d admire you if I saw you, good for you. Go for it and remember: This Girl Can! Anyone who judges - well that says more about them than you. They’re not the sort of people worth bothering about.

Don’t forget to come back and update us with your progress 😊

OP please keep going I'm in a similar position moosively overweight following birth of DS1 who has some medical issues and subsequent miscarriages - I'm hoofing over 15 stone. Saw a friend at the weekend who is in a worse situation than me and she said she just started running again for herself she inspired me (plus seeing the photos we took and how massive I am in them 😱). So I started running just a mile each night from Monday I hate running passed my neighbours houses and wonder what they think but I care more about my health if they want to look let them at least I am out there doing it - for me. So are you OP - keep going

All the people expressing their admiration for all the larger/bigger people out exercising

@Flopjustwantscoffee

Do remember also when you go jogging no-one knows how long/how far youve already been jogging for when they see you. So I jog very slowly and used to feel embarassed but as far as other people are concerned I could have been reaching the end of a ten mile run (I wouldnt be, I cant jog 10 miles but they dont know that)

I read a great Quote from an ultramarthoner, he was running along very slowly, and someone heckled.

He shouted back, yep I’m on mile 11 of 50, join me.

So don’t be embarrassed about being slow.

And yes, I strongly agree with everyone else. I was a runner, got injured, gave up, stuffed my face, got fat. And am now very painfully getting back into it. I managed a mile (5yrs and 2 stone ago, I could do 15 far less painfully) so if I saw you I’d thing Go You!

Don't think other people out and about are full of confidence either.

I nearly always feel like a dick and care too much what people think. Even when I'm not running.

Look at it this way, at least you've got off your bum and started to do something about it.
If anyone has an issue with it, then that's their problem.
Keep at it and ignore them.
Good luck.

Blimey I think this post might be the nicest thread ever posted in AIBU!
I posted here for a bit of a reality check eg "yes you probably do look like a dick but get over it" and you've all been so kind and wonderful. So thank you, again.
xx