I look like a dick and care too much what people think

[TerracottaTortoise]

Started a new exercise regime on Monday just walking at first to try and build up a bit. I'm quite overweight and have neglected myself completely for years (I'm 35 now) as both my kids have disabilities and I just forgot about myself really.

I really want to get fit but can't help feeling like a total dick in my leggings and work out strappy top with all my wobbly bits jiggling away. I just feel like people look at me and think I'm completely ridiculous!
I'm sure in reality they give a toss but it's really holding me back!

So do you look at bigger people trying to exercise and think they're ridiculous or AIBU?

I am slim and unfit. I'd be impressed by your get up and go and determination - can't imagine how hard it must be if your big. I'd be rooting for you.
Who cares what anyone else thinks anyway. Anyone that thinks badly of you would have forgotten 5 mins later anyways.

No, I'm just jealous that they are exercising when I am not!

I used to be like this and then someone said to me "people only look at others in the gym if they fancy them"!! Honestly, people are much more concerned about themselves then anyone else. Just get out there.

I look with admiration and want to shout positive uplifting things at people who look like they're new to exercise but I'm always worried they'll think I'm shouting something rude!!

OP,
I am size 6, been same size all my life. I will tell you what I think when I see a very overweight person wearing gym clothes.. This is f*g amazing! Someone found a willpower to overcome whatever happened in their life and force themselves to exercise even though it is quite obviously bloody hard.
OP, it is admirable, you go girl!

As someone who's lost a significant chunk of weight, I would just feel happy that another person has reached that point where they feel they're able to tackle their issues. If you feel uncomfortable, you can always wear looser fitting clothes. Good luck with your journey

No one is looking , honestly .

I don't look like a dick, but I'm really unfit. I see fatter than me running and feel admiration and guilt.

Keep in mind that you are not alone in your worries.

You are not alone in the way you fit into exercise clothing either. We are an obese nation - so being overweight makes you normal.

Well done on tackling your own fears and getting fit.

Thanks for quietly showing the way to others who would like to do this.

When I see anyone exercising, I think they have more willpower than me, because I know I should exercise too, and yet my own silly leggings are gathering dust at the bottom of my wardrobe.

When I see a larger person exercising, I think they're particularly brave and inspiring, because they have a mountain to climb in term of weight loss, yet here they are, taking back control over their life!

Hope this helps

I’m an introvert and too fat 😁 I started walking over lockdown and yes, I feel self conscious but more and more I’m just thinking ‘fuck it’ and not caring as much. No make up on, hair up but I’m walking and trying to get fitter and lose weight so I tell myself, it’s not a fashion show!

I never judge anyone of any size who are working out/walking etc. Hope that helps 😊

I never think anyone looks ridiculous I think good for them it's so hard to start exercising. I've been out of exercise for a year and a half with severe pelvic girdle problems and after 5 weeks I'm just coming out of the "this is stony" phase.

Stick with it! You can do this 💪

I'll be honest, the only thing I tend to notice (and this is thanks to attending a talk by a sports bra specialist) is if your b00bs are flailing around all over the place!! Get the girls clamped down and I won't bat an eyelid when you wobble past! There's some really good high waisted sports leggings around that provide a lot of support and minimise the wobble if you're worried about it.

No I see bigger people exercising and think good for them ! Anyone who thinks otherwise should go fudge themselves , Well done for taking control and looking after yourself your amazing ! X

I walk around the local racecourse, its approx 2 miles, I passed an overweight lady in her exercise gear, we were going in opposite directions, we passed again and smiled, I was puffing and panting, heading back to my car and she was going for another go round! Iv never completed 2 laps as I'm knackered, I silently willed her on, good for her.
I think most people will not judge but will think good for you, try going somewhere others exercise like the park, you wont find any judgement there.
My OH does crossfit and they seriously support the new starters, pluck up the courage to join a group.
Keep it up, I'm rooting for you

I have a lot of respect for those I see just starting out on their exercise journey - as I still remember how tough it was when I started couch to 5k - several years ago now .

We should all exercise, no matter what our size. I think people get respect for doing so. If it helps you feel more at ease, you don't need to wear special exercise clothing for walking...sometimes it can be an encouragement but if it feels easier to just wear normal clothes go for it. Just remember, you are doing something good for yourself and that is positive.

If there are people at the gym judging you for how you look even though you're making an effort to get fitter, they're not the sort of people who's opinion you should worry about.

Go for it ! At some point when my current crazy contract has finished I need to get my wobbly body back to the pool regularly. I'll try and remember my reassuring words to you when I do !

I feel a bit like that too sometimes, but chuck on something comfy and headphones, maybe baseball cap- I always feel inspired when I see people out exercising whatever their size- you're doing something good. Be proud

@doadeer

I never think anyone looks ridiculous I think good for them it's so hard to start exercising. I've been out of exercise for a year and a half with severe pelvic girdle problems and after 5 weeks I'm just coming out of the "this is stony" phase.

Stick with it! You can do this 💪

Just realised this says this is stony that was supposed to say this is agony!

It's hard to shake the paranoia! One thing I would suggest is buying some gym clothes that you LOVE and can't wait to wear, like if it's a brand you love or a great pattern or something, that way you have something you want people to see. Especially if it's a shamelessly, unapologetically loud pattern - if you're going to feel like people are staring at you, you can at least make it so it's because of something you've picked and are in control of (and looks cool and whacky)

Allow me to let you in on a little secret!- 99% of people are so self absorbed that they 1. dont care about what you are wearing and 2. wont even notice or remember you. You just arent that important to them. I dont mean that to sound rude but part of being overly self conscious is this idea that everyone is looking at you and thinking about you. They really, really arent. They dont care. If they noticed you in a class and I asked them afterwards what you were wearing I guarantee you they couldn't tell me.

Think about it- do you remember every single person you see out and about each day, and do you remember exactly what they are all wearing and do you think about those strangers all day long, judging them in your head- random people just minding their own business?- no?
Theres your answer then!

Without meaning to sound rude, no-one cares about anyone else, everyone’s wrapped up in their own world. Don’t worry about them worrying about you - they haven’t given you a second thought!

This! If I do notice someone (of any size) exercising I will fleetingly think - well done them - oh that reminds me I must work out myself...

I see a lot of people exercising around 6.30am on my way to work, many of them overweight or obese and I have nothing but respect for each and every one of them.

The one positive to come out of Covid and furlough is it's given lots of us the push to get out and get healthier so I would never look at you and think you're ridiculous, I'd admire your determination and mindset.

I'm fairly large, but am trying to not be, so I feel a wee bit like you. However, from conversations I've had, most people are just applaud us for at least starting to do something. And the others are not worth worrying about.

If you keep going, I will