I look like a dick and care too much what people think

[TerracottaTortoise]

Started a new exercise regime on Monday just walking at first to try and build up a bit. I'm quite overweight and have neglected myself completely for years (I'm 35 now) as both my kids have disabilities and I just forgot about myself really.

I really want to get fit but can't help feeling like a total dick in my leggings and work out strappy top with all my wobbly bits jiggling away. I just feel like people look at me and think I'm completely ridiculous!
I'm sure in reality they give a toss but it's really holding me back!

So do you look at bigger people trying to exercise and think they're ridiculous or AIBU?

People look at you and think "oh wow, good for her, I really ought to be exercising, I wish I had her willpower. Like her leggings"

If they think that, fuck 'em.

I've been running since May and I have running leggings and a top. If you are uncomfortable in a strapping top then get one with sleeves.

When I have seen bigger people out exercising I have just thought I wish I had their confidence to wear such bright colours (I'm all in black and grey) and good on them as we all have to start somewhere.

If you aren't comfortable in the clothes then get some that you are.

Most of us are caught up in our own worlds and we don't even notice what others are wearing or doing.

Well done you for getting out, and starting to put yourself and your health first.

Have only read your initial post, OP, but that's enough for me to say please don't feel ridiculous. I was several stone overweight a few years ago, and was determined to do something about it by the time I hit the big 40. I started small - lots of walking, and then tentatively C25K, but it definitely helped wearing the right clothes. Sports clothes breathe better than ordinary T shirts or cotton tops, so keep wearing 'the gear'!

It's worth it, and you will succeed! We all find once the children are older we have more time for ourselves, look in the mirror and ask ourselves 'What happened?!' You've taken the first step, and it's a huge one, so congratulate yourself! You deserve to!

FWIW, I often see women who are clearly overweight wearing 'the right gear', and all I think is good on them. They're trying to change themselves, and I'm full of admiration for them. I lost my few stone over time, and I've kept it off (don't forget to track what you eat too) and I've done a couple of Races for LIfe since then too (just the 5k ones, and not fast, but I ran all the way!)

You can do it, OP! Take it slowly, but don't let anyone put you off. Wear what is needed to be comfortable when exercising, and ignore anyone who is rude to you. That's about them, not you!

I’ve done many different types of exercise over the years; classes running CrossFit acrobatics yoga you name it I’ve tried it. I couldn’t even tell you what anyone in ANY of those things looked like unless we were friends. Not a single one of those people crossed my mind or with all due respect made any impact on me in anyway. I’m focussed on me and don’t have the mental energy to waste on someone else. When we think everyone is looking at us what they are actually doing is looking through us whilst debating what to have for tea. We are far less interesting to the average stranger on the street than we give ourselves credit for

There's only one correct reaction to someone overweight getting out and exercising, and that's wholehearted admiration. Which you deserve, so don't let anything put you off!

Usually when I see an overweight person exercising I think good for them, especially as it's not so easy to start out as a bigger person. If you don't feel comfortable in what you've got, go online and buy some looser long-sleeved tops that show less flesh and feel less tight. It's essential that you wear things you feel comfortable in. Good luck!

I'm a single mum to two young (VERY hyper) boys. Eldest is on the spectrum - not getting anywhere with any help. Lockdown absolutely threw me. I totally get the forgetting about yourself!! I cleared my mind in far too many bottles of wine and then snacked before and after tea and then looked in the mirror in my underwear one day and like "what have I done...."...

I'm the exact same as you. All week I've worn my "sport stuff" because I feel like it motivates me to drop the kids off at school and then get my arse up the moors for a jog, or a good bit of hiking - and I do it. But I always feel like everyone is staring and I hate that bit. I can't run for long without needing to stop because my chest is burning and I can't breathe. I look at other runners/joggers and they look like pro's! everything seems to look "perfect" !! they are all super slim and faster than me, I never see anyone bigger struggling!!

I've been doing this about 4 months now and lost almost 2 stone. I tell you what's the best though OP. The MENTAL effects are bloomin fantastic. I am soooo much happier and my mind is so much sharper. I'm getting my old personality back and sense of humour and it's showing in the behaviour of my kids too.... they're a lot happier too! I'm planning for the future and joining all sorts of groups to do with what I'm interested in so I can meet friends! (I'd never have done this, like...ever!!) I'm still a stone off my target weight but mentally I just feel great! It's SO worth sticking to it and battling though the bits that are hard... like when people look at you. People will tell you to ignore them - they won't care, they'll think you're fab - but it's like an instinctive reaction to feel self conscious! Just think - THEY'RE doing it because they know about the benefits, it's not just about weight loss and toning. You deserve those benefits too! We all deserve them!

Nike got it right

Just Do It

There’s a woman who lives on my estate who I used to see running a few years back. She was a larger lady who wore tight running gear and I always admired her as I was never brave enough to go running.

I saw her one day run past a group of dickhead lads who jeered at her and laughed. If that was me I’d have probably gone home and cried and never gone out again.

She just ploughed on though and I still see her running regularly.

She’s about a size 10 now and those lads are laughing on the other side of their faces.

Thank you so much everyone you don't know how much your kind words mean to me.
Who said AIBU was full of vipers?!

Why are you wearing a strappy top ? Put a t shirt on if you feel self conscious.

Do remember also when you go jogging no-one knows how long/how far youve already been jogging for when they see you. So I jog very slowly and used to feel embarassed but as far as other people are concerned I could have been reaching the end of a ten mile run (I wouldnt be, I cant jog 10 miles but they dont know that)

(Same goes for walking as well)

OP be comfortable.

I have to admit I cringe when I see people caked in make-up, with unpractical clothes and who spend their time doing selfies or very clearly posing for the whole world to admire.

Anyone else is facing their own battles, their own injuries, fitness levels and good for them. Very fit people tend to be very supportive of others, the only ones who might judge you as so insecure you can pity them.

Most of us look an absolute state when we exercise, because it's not a fashion show.

Just make sure you wear the correct underwear - no one might notice, but you will rookie mistake when you exercise straight from work

You go girl.
Just wear something you are comfy in to start with but the best piece of sportswear is your smile. Get some bangin' uplifting tunes in your ears to run to. Positive attitude will carry you miles and look forward to buying a size smaller next month and another one down the month after.
Good luck, today is the start of a whole new outlook on life.
in moderation. x

Why are you wearing a strappy top ? Put a t shirt on if you feel self conscious.

because it's hot?

Wear what you feel comfortable in, not what you think you should wear. And yes to the sunglasses! I started c25k as someone who wasn’t a runner and I love it. I feel really self conscious but I remember a piece of advice. If you’re just walking and out of breath, no one knows whether you’ve just run a 10k and walked for 1 minute. I find that the people I see always give me an encouraging smile and me to them too.

Also, I have a really good sports bra that clamps me down nicely.
I think my main issue is that I get so hot and sweaty and puffed out that my normal comfortable clothes are way too hot.

I shall take a look at some sports wear stuff online and see if I can find anything nice and airy and baggy and loose!

I need to lose about 60lbs!!!

curvissa is good for bigger sized workout gear. I have bought quite a few tops from there

I’d think good for you doing something for your health. Wear what you feel most comfortable in. The more you do it the less you will hopefully bother about what anyone else thinks. I felt very self conscious at first when I started walking and had leggings and a tee shirt on. Now im far less concerned. Focus on yourself and your Health and well-being. Your doing great.

I took up running a few years ago and (along with some fairly big diet changes) lost about four stone.
The first time I ran a mile I was still heavily overweight and honestly thought I might die of hyperventilation. My face was redder than my top.
When I ran at the time I was very self conscious and the odd twt would shout something 'banterous' at me when I ran and I was always convinced it was because of my weight and the sight of me hauling myself down the pavements at snail speed.
I'm now much fitter and slimmer and I can assure you that heckling of runners is not solely reserved for the unfit. I still get just as many, if not more, comments than before but they are just less often about my jiggly arse.
So I'd echo the other posts that the vast majority of people simply won't notice you but also to add that the small number who do, are just twts, who will make comments to anyone and it's really not worth letting it put you off. Good for you for getting out there

“ I tend to look with admiration...keep going....do it for you...”

Sums up what I was about to write.