If you were my manager would you think I’m taking the piss?

[Napqueen1234]

Hello,

I’m a teacher on mat leave with DC3. Obviously it’s been a crazy time for all of us and it finally feels like it’s settling down and I’m due back to work in September (originally going to take 6.5 months mat leave +A/L). I applied as per the flexible working policy recently to reduce my hours from 0.8 WTE To 0.6 WTE which has been approved. However I am now considering extending my mat leave until mid nov. This is so I can settled my other two DC into their new settings and have a bit of time with DC3 before going back. I’ve written a v apologetic email to my manager asking if it’s possible to extend and the reasons for this. I also offered to use any KIT days to come to important meetings/briefings at the start of term so I’m ready in Nov. Would you think I was messing around? I feel anxious in these covid times of job security etc and don’t want work to see me as being difficult. Thanks

All these "mat leave mums" having a job / work and expecting their employers to pick up the debris when Mum changes her mind? You have a responsibilty to your family, you have a responsibilty to your employer. You have to prioritise

Thankfully there are laws on this, so changing of minds is permitted in the eyes of the law up to a certain point.

I used to work in HR, I found at the 6 to 7 weeks to go before they returned point people often used to panic and want to change things. 8 weeks is the usual deadline in company policies, but there is something about that time period when the reality kicks in. So I would always advise thinking carefully about what you are asking for (in terms of changes) to see if it would be suitable long-term.

Great news @Napqueen1234 Glad it’s worked out and sounds like it was the right choice.

All these "mat leave mums" having a job / work and expecting their employers to pick up the debris when Mum changes her mind?

Could you have fitted in any more contemptuous sexism? I don't think so but you could try.

Im glad you said it @MrsTerryPratchett! Regardless of my own situation surely we are all ‘mat leave mums’ @IgiveupallthenamesIwantedareg0 🤷🏼‍♀️. Someone’s got to have children!

Very interesting @ChicCroissant that describes me to a T. It will 100% be my last child so I suppose the realisation that I’ll never get this time again has just hit me. Glad I’m not the only heathen to change my mind late!

This is your life and your children’s, who cares what your manager says? Do what’s right for you

Whenever I see a post on MN from someone who is panicking about returning after mat leave, I have to sit on my hands not to type "7 weeks to go by any chance?" Perhaps I should start asking!

I’m a manager and I wouldn’t mind ... but not in teaching ... will they be able to sort your cover by September? ... it’s nice that you care to be honest !!! Most people wouldn’t even worry !!

I personally think that this is awful. I understand your reasons but as a head of dept I am concerned with giving the hundreds of children we are responsible for a strong stable start. If you have agreed to be there in Sept you should be there.

It seems naff that students that have been off for so long don't get a subject specialist and have to make do with cover and possibly flaky supply.

I say this as a mum to two small dc too. I would be seething and find it hard to trust you at all.

Are you due to be teaching KS4?

I’m a teacher and have had 2 lots of mat leave. I’ve never been able to add on AL? How does this work? Also I’m now a HOD and to be honest I would be annoyed that you hadn’t let us know sooner. We broke up today so no idea how we would get someone suitable for September. However, you are entitled to take the full 12 months so they can’t make you come back in September if you don’t want too. The problem is your timing not that you want to take more of your mat leave entitlement.

I don't quite get why schools can't recruit over summer. Have I missed something? OP hasn't given them 2 days notice, but rather 2 months. In the world outside of education she's been perfectly reasonable.

Why I would think there would be things in place to arrange cover. Crazy times and it would be nice to spend the extra with dc3 absolutely agree the reasons.
It’s not about you get x days off and I don’t so it’s not fair. It’s about doing what’s right for you and what works for you, if it’s passed then why not. Long standing manager of various teams/ people / own business here and I wouldn’t think any less of you at all.
Of course I might say certain days I would need help before your return to bring you up to speed. But yes go for it.

@Treacletoots

I don't quite get why schools can't recruit over summer. Have I missed something? OP hasn't given them 2 days notice, but rather 2 months. In the world outside of education she's been perfectly reasonable.

Because filling a vacancy takes a lot of work - advertising, sifting applications, interview stages with numerous people involved. Most of whom will also be on summer holiday.

Just seen that you work in a private school and that your cover is still there - so strike my comment.

I'm still reeling from a Teacher telling us two weeks ago that they won't be starting with us in Sept - so I'm probably projecting.

@treacletoots
Recruitment is so tough. At this time of year most teachers have jobs in sept and cannot start a new role until January 2021. In my experience anyone looking for work now may not be the strongest candidate that you would want.

Yes, but I wouldn't hold it against you.

@treenu that’s crap hope you do find someone good for September must be hard. Yeah my cover has been there since Jan and will be there until December (apparently they are v good so likely to be taken on as permanent afterwards) which is why I’ve considered it. Would have been a lot harder/wouldn’t have done it if that wasn’t the case.

@treenu makes sense about the candidate quality.

Although I will say, @mrdarcysma the majority of the working world who don't get 6 weeks holiday in the summer are struggling to sympathise. Perhaps those in charge may just have to lose a couple of weeks to recruit.

The school can refuse as you have failed to give 8 weeks notice. You should go back to work as agreed. You would need to take off the full 52.14 weeks as maternity to be entitled to statutory annual leave. Most teachers return after 9 months e.g on the last day of school opening to take advantage of going back onto full pay during summer 6 week school closure so are not normally due any accrued statutory leave as they had had their statutory entitlement.

Yeah my cover has been there since Jan and will be there until December

Would have been helpful if you'd mentioned that in your OP.

As am a manager of a large team, I would be sympathetic as a mother myself, but also annoyed. I would now have to figure out what to do from September to November with only very little time left. I might have also already communicated to parents officially that you would be their teacher and recall that message. Others might have to step in for you.

Ultimately it is your choice and they can't let you go over this, however when there is a meeting in the future where they do discuss changes to personnel this might form part of their opinion, consciously or subconsciously.

My advice to you is to make a considered choice that is right for you.

So all in all yeah I’m a selfish dick but it’s been hard. I didn’t plan any of this, nobody did, and I hope if I was manager to a mum struggling I’d have the insight to see that, not that it’s because I fancy extending my jolly holiday of maternity leave to drink coffee with friends

You seem i) very passive aggressive and ii) to see yourself as a victim which I would find way more of an issue than the actual issue you discuss

FWIW i don't think anyone could say you're taking the piss - things happen. I do think that you must have known about your DC2 settling in before you changed your reentry date which could irk some managers.

Gosh some very harsh responses on here .... Look so many people are out of work right now and Im sure that includes teachers, its easy to get supply teacher in. So yes not ideal but they have a week or more for an agency to get someone for September. You dont sound like someone that is blaise and taking this lightly !

@Napqueen1234

I’m glad for you they’ve been OK about it. Hopefully the cover won’t have made other plans yet.

There was another option open to you if they’d said no, which I haven’t seen anyone mention on here yet.

Legally all parents are allowed 18 weeks of unpaid leave to do things like settle children into new schools. You can take up to 4 weeks of this allowance each year, and you must give 21 days notice to your employer.

I think this year has made us all evaluate things differently how we do things in life, your manager may not like it but you have to do what you feel is best for your family xx