If you were my manager would you think I’m taking the piss?

[Napqueen1234]

Hello,

I’m a teacher on mat leave with DC3. Obviously it’s been a crazy time for all of us and it finally feels like it’s settling down and I’m due back to work in September (originally going to take 6.5 months mat leave +A/L). I applied as per the flexible working policy recently to reduce my hours from 0.8 WTE To 0.6 WTE which has been approved. However I am now considering extending my mat leave until mid nov. This is so I can settled my other two DC into their new settings and have a bit of time with DC3 before going back. I’ve written a v apologetic email to my manager asking if it’s possible to extend and the reasons for this. I also offered to use any KIT days to come to important meetings/briefings at the start of term so I’m ready in Nov. Would you think I was messing around? I feel anxious in these covid times of job security etc and don’t want work to see me as being difficult. Thanks

I agree with many others: piss taking.

It would seem you're perfectly happy to ruin someone else's summer holiday while they pull their hair out trying to replace you with no practical notice whatsoever. Surely you could have made this decision sooner!

And while you're "settling your DCs into their new settings", the kids you should be teaching may have a chaotic mix of cover teachers, supply teachers and TAs.

This is very likely and is the reason why the head of department and senior management may be less than pleased.

Just reading this again, is this a reverse? Has a member of staff done this to you?

As others have said, as your HT or HoD I would be fuming with this incredibly short notice u-turn.

As a human being and a mother I would respect (albeit maybe grudgingly at first) your choice to put your family first.
Depending on which date in September you were due to return you have potentially left it too late anyway to change anything now- in which case the decision is made for you.

Just do it anyway.

Yes there will be huffing and puffing and a bit of moaning behind your back but honesty, those kind of bad feelings are fleeting when you're usually an above average performer (assuming you are). In a year they'll be over it but you may regret not taking that time for your family.

I’d be the poor cover manager getting frantic phone calls from the head to get cover in. And if you don’t tell them by Friday I’d be doing this in my holiday (tt only). Or, I’d be doing the cover myself for two months. Not a great start for the new year. And who would be setting the work? And yes, no matter what is said to your face, me and the head would be having a ffs conversation. It’s all a bit late.

Under standard teacher pay & conditions, only 3 weeks notice is required, overriding the statutory eight weeks. Strange but true.
Most teachers returning to the classroom in September actually opt to return on the first day of the school holidays (so as to get full pay over the summer), in which case now is too late.

Legally - totally entitled to change return date from Sept to Nov at this point. However you can see why the school might be rather annoyed - if your relationship with management is not good, this might not help.

There's more justification if you've only just been told of things that affect your decision (eg if you've just been told that your reception-age-child will be doing half-days in September, having expected full-time).
Not so bad if you know that they'll be able to cover you - more likely in primary. The same person who covered you this term might be able to continue, and supply teachers tend to be short of work for September, so in primary and some secondary subjects there might be little difficulty.

You do have two days a week to help settle your children ino their school/nursery.

Asking "if it would be possible" doesn't make a lot of sense; if you give notice to do so, they can't stop you, so it is definitely possible. A better question might be "if I delay my return, what will happen to my class(es) - would the maternity cover teacher be able to stay on?"

Yes

Yep.

@PotteringAlong

Yes. I’m a head of faculty in a secondary school and regardless of what I might say to your face the conversation at home when I’m letting off steam would start with “is she fucking joking me?! It’s the last week of the summer term and she thinks she can give 2 working days to extend her mat leave?!”. And then I Would pass it up and they would decide. But I would be cross.

It’s not the coming back in November that’s the problem. It’s the ridiculous lack of notice to sort out september that’s the problem.

Exactly this !

Why do you need to "settle your children into their new settings"? Do they have a dad? Why can't he take AL at the beginning of September and do it?

I am sure you'll do whatever suits you but I think it's taking the mick.

Isn’t your maternity leave ending at the start of the holidays? That’s normally what teachers do I thought? So not enough notice.

You are entitled to request it OP
As long as you are a reliable member of staff generally it will turn out OK

I thought one of the things teachers say is that they aren’t paid for their Summer Break, therefore I would have thought any notice period would have to be in the period before schools break up for Summer, which I think is this week, therefore only 2 days notice!

Apart from that if I was your employer I would be really pissed off. The school pupils have had to deal with a lot over the last 4 months and having another supply teacher, at such short notice, until November really isn’t helping them! YABVVVU.

Ok resounding response of IABU. I’ll have to wait and see!

Aren't you worried about the mess your classes will be in by November?! I had a pregnancy on similar timings and went back in September rather than have that happen. And DH is always on the hook for September settling in tasks, as he's not a teacher. Even then the (otherwise excellent) cover teacher had lost a load of textbooks and the school managed to seriously underpay me...

Briefly, yes.

@Napqueen1234

Ok resounding response of IABU. I’ll have to wait and see!

Yes, you will. But whatever the outcome, you’ve made a bad impression and it won’t be forgotten.

Utter piss take and completely flakey. We’d probably smile through gritted teeth but your cards would be well and truly marked and there would not be an iota of future flexibility shown on our side.

I also wouldn't have advised OP to do this and I also think she won't get it, but I don't know what the last few posters think is to be gained by kicking at her for something that's already done now?

I hope she would take from my post to check her payslips carefully asap before everyone disappears on holiday. I ended up with an underpayment of £1.5k and didn't get it back until the end of September.

@Napqueen1234

Ok resounding response of IABU. I’ll have to wait and see!

What does this mean? You're going to ask anyway and will see if they'll let you? I wonder why you bothered posting the question, really.

Thisismytimetoshine She’s already asked; she sent the email before even starting this thread.

Oh, sorry . Double at this thread, in that case.
Hope you're still merrily !!!'ing when you get your answer, op.

Ok so can I defend myself slightly? As I said it’s a private school so they won’t struggle to cover me as they employed my cover person for a year anyway (that’s our policy v lucky to have that option unlike state schools I know). I had v severe PND which meant I was actually admitted, only for 2 weeks, when DC3 was 3 months old and obviously that and the treatment along with lockdown etc has made it a really really difficult time. I know it’s last minute, I know it’s late. But otherwise I always pull my weight, work hard, I’m a good team member. Part of the reason I want to delay is so that I can be that person when I get back.

When I say ‘settling in’ I’ve got a child going into reception and one into preschool who are both doing staggered starting for two weeks each which will be really difficult to juggle. DH has taken a week off but he used up a lot of A/L and unpaid leave to be with the kids when I wasn’t well so we don’t have any more to use and can’t afford unpaid. Wraparound care also isn’t happening so it would just delay the stress of that for another couple of months.

So all in all yeah I’m a selfish dick but it’s been hard. I didn’t plan any of this, nobody did, and I hope if I was manager to a mum struggling I’d have the insight to see that, not that it’s because I fancy extending my jolly holiday of maternity leave to drink coffee with friends.