If you were my manager would you think I’m taking the piss?

[Napqueen1234]

Hello,

I’m a teacher on mat leave with DC3. Obviously it’s been a crazy time for all of us and it finally feels like it’s settling down and I’m due back to work in September (originally going to take 6.5 months mat leave +A/L). I applied as per the flexible working policy recently to reduce my hours from 0.8 WTE To 0.6 WTE which has been approved. However I am now considering extending my mat leave until mid nov. This is so I can settled my other two DC into their new settings and have a bit of time with DC3 before going back. I’ve written a v apologetic email to my manager asking if it’s possible to extend and the reasons for this. I also offered to use any KIT days to come to important meetings/briefings at the start of term so I’m ready in Nov. Would you think I was messing around? I feel anxious in these covid times of job security etc and don’t want work to see me as being difficult. Thanks

@SimonJT some advertise the pro rata wage that you would be paid if you worked five days a week every single week of the year

I've never heard of a school doing that, in 15+ years of being with a teacher and assisting in job hunts

[quote Somethingorotherorother]**@SimonJT* some advertise the pro rata wage that you would be paid if you worked five days a week every single week of the year*

I've never heard of a school doing that, in 15+ years of being with a teacher and assisting in job hunts[/quote]
Schools advertise differently, some adverise the actual wage, some advertise the pro rata wage that you would be paid if you worked five days a week every single week of the year.
Surely not?? For part time staff, certainly. But advertising a salary that could only be earned by working every single week of the year makes zero sense, as it literally couldn't happen.
I don't believe it.

I don't know why I've quoted you, Something, sorry!

At first I thought it was a selfish move.

Now you've explained the situation I think you have to do what is best for you and your family. You are only a number at work, like all your of us, were all replaceable. You'll never get this time back again, FACT, you'll always find another teaching job. I think you deserve to be a little selfish

Ellisandra and Potteringalong summarise it very well on page 1

Work is just work.

Family comes first, and if you’ve realised that it would be better for you to take longer then do it.

It’ll be forgotten by work in a few weeks/months, but the time spent with your family will be a long term investment.

I might be biased as I did the same with my third and last. I think by the time you have number 3 you kind of know how little thanks you actually get for bending over backwards to make your leave arrangements more convenient for your employers!

Thanks @84claire84 and @Aspergallus you’ve made me feel less crushingly guilty. Thanks you

Not piss taking. You want to do what works for your family. They will either agree or they won’t, but don’t feel bad about it. It’s a minor disruption in the overall time you’re working.

I don’t think you did it deliberately, OP, but you presented the initial facts of what sounds like a very tough situation in a way that was pretty much guaranteed to get you a flaming. Please be kind to yourself

I know it would help explain my request but I’d rather not tell them I feel embarrassed about it really

Would you feel embarrassed about a physical illness? You can't help getting PND, that's nothing to be embarrassed about. And it might make your HT feel very differently about your late request.

No. Don’t feel bad for wanting to spend time with your kids before you start back at work.

No @puffinkoala I wouldn’t and I completely agree. I also would never judge someone who shared a similar experience and would want to support them. But for some reason it just feels such a personal thing to share I’d find it really hard.

Well that's a massive drip feed! It's still not ideal to leave it so late, but I understand now why you've done it so fair enough, I hope it all works out.

How do you carry AL as a teacher? @Napqueen1234

In my school you get the 35 days A/L you would have had during that time + any additional bank holidays etc as additional leave after your mat pay. Not sure if that’s the same in state schools.

@Napqueen1234 no it’s not. I’m a teacher in state school

Ok, with the extra information I think the key factor would be whether the cover person has in fact lined up a new job for September...

I have seen school jobs advertised as the FT equivalent pay for what is actually a PT pro rata termtime job, but generally only for TAs. My sister got tripped up by that.

The much bigger difficulty is that some schools will not reveal their pay scales, pay policy, mat policy etc while recruiting -- or even sometimes at offer!

I wouldn’t worry OP, especially as you say they hired your replacement for a year. Plus, the early years go so quickly and you never get that time back. I hope they grant it for you

I believe you can change your mind within 4 weeks of proposed return date so it doesn’t matter whether people think you’re taking the piss - you’re (quite rightly) utilising your maternity rights.
Just out of interest - how do you have annual leave if you’re a teacher?!

Just saw your last post about A/L... so lucky!

It doesn’t make sense to me either. My job has an annual salary that was quoted to me. I get one-twelfth of that each month, whether the month has a public holiday in it or not, whether there are 28, 29, 30 or 31 days in it, whether there are 20 working days or not (due to weekends and what day of the week the month starts and ends on some months have 20 working days and some have 21, 22 or 23). I don’t get paid more for a month that has 31 days and I don’t get paid less in February. What’s the difference? Presumably they are happy with the salary of the salary or they wouldn’t do the job.

To the OP, it would have been better if the employer had known about the medical issues from the get-go. You are all adults. I am going through some tough medical things at the moment and whilst I don’t necessarily want the entire workplace to know my business I have been open with my manager about it so that we can have a open and honest conversation about modifying my working hours and duties.

Teaching salaries work like that too. I suppose the more relevant point though is that teachers have no bookable annual leave because the job involves being there when the students are there (although unless the management are absolute bastards you can generally get brief time off for something essential and un-moveable, if you set cover). But because the minimum annual leave for all employees in the UK is 4 weeks plus bank holidays (I think), teaching holidays always exceed that so there is no question of a school ever not allotting sufficient 'annual leave' but they are at liberty to make your workload such that you need to do some of it in the holidays. Plus the salaries are based on what you need to pay someone to get them for 9 months out of 12.

You're entitled to the time off so take it - they're only young once! Ideally the more notice the better but you have to think of your family first. Could you not just go back after Xmas so the class has first term with a different teacher? I'd also consider discussing the circumstances with the headteacher privately and make it very clear that it goes no further - surely there is employment law around this. Also the PND and admission is nothing to be ashamed of!! I had a manager who had postpartum psychosis and a hospital admission and spoke about it openly - absolutely no one spoke of this negatively and (rightly or wrongly) postpartum mental health is thought of differently due to the impact of hormones etc.

Best of luck with baby x

Thanks for all your responses. Have heard back and thankfully my manager has been very supportive and understand my request and has granted it. I have expressed my overwhelming gratitude and reassured them I will be fully committed when back in November. I can’t say what’s been said behind my back etc (and I understand if there’s some huffing and puffing and annoyance) but I feel so relieved and grateful for the extra time. I will make sure I’m on top form when I return. Thanks all.

All these "mat leave mums" having a job / work and expecting their employers to pick up the debris when Mum changes her mind? You have a responsibilty to your family, you have a responsibilty to your employer. You have to prioritise.