Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If you were my manager would you think I’m taking the piss?

161 replies

Napqueen1234 · 15/07/2020 14:07

Hello,

I’m a teacher on mat leave with DC3. Obviously it’s been a crazy time for all of us and it finally feels like it’s settling down and I’m due back to work in September (originally going to take 6.5 months mat leave +A/L). I applied as per the flexible working policy recently to reduce my hours from 0.8 WTE To 0.6 WTE which has been approved. However I am now considering extending my mat leave until mid nov. This is so I can settled my other two DC into their new settings and have a bit of time with DC3 before going back. I’ve written a v apologetic email to my manager asking if it’s possible to extend and the reasons for this. I also offered to use any KIT days to come to important meetings/briefings at the start of term so I’m ready in Nov. Would you think I was messing around? I feel anxious in these covid times of job security etc and don’t want work to see me as being difficult. Thanks

OP posts:
DanceMonkey19 · 15/07/2020 14:50

Probably. But it's done now, so not much point in worrying as you can't change it now! I'm sure they'll be over it by the time you return in November - they'll have plenty to worry about before then!

Thisismytimetoshine · 15/07/2020 14:53

Yes, I would, and you are. Deciding with no notice that you'll extend your maternity leave into the first few weeks of a new year?!

ThanksItHasPockets · 15/07/2020 14:55

Are you a teacher in a state school in the UK? Teachers' pay and conditions doesn't usually include the accrual of annual leave because you usually get the 28 days' statutory holiday either side of the maternity period.

heartsonacake · 15/07/2020 14:56

Yes, you are taking the piss and out of order leaving it so late to drop such a huge bombshell on them.

Hardbackwriter · 15/07/2020 14:57

I took 'annual leave' as meaning 'I officially return to work on the last day of term so that I then get paid over the summer', which is pretty common/standard in teaching. When DH took shared parental leave he 'went back' on the last day before the Easter hols so that his salary restarted then.

MrsTerryPratchett · 15/07/2020 14:58

@Ellisandra

Honestly? I would think, “FFS, you always knew your children were going to whatever setting in September, so now with 7 weeks to go, you drop me in the shit about changing from Sep to Nov?”

How much that bad feeling lingered, would depend on my existing experience of you. Great employee with positive track record - I’d have my 30 seconds huff and puff to myself, recognise that life comes before work, and then get on with sorting out cover in Sep. If you were a poor performing pain in the arse, my bad feeling would last longer!!

Exactly this.

There's rights (which are important) and then there's not being a bit of an arse (which is also important).

Frozenfrogs86 · 15/07/2020 15:02

I would have found this really, really difficult to sort out as SLT in a primary school at this time of year...finding good quality cover for two months is a real pain, without Coronavirus stress to add in to the mix. I think you have to accept this would get a very negative reception OP.

TokyoSushi · 15/07/2020 15:03

TBH, yes, I'd not be particularly happy if I were your manager. You might be within your rights to change, but who is going to cover you until November? It's quite near the end of term for them to sort that out now...

INeedNewShoes · 15/07/2020 15:08

I can understand that as the time gets nearer that you've realised that its not 100% ideal for you but this will affect so many people - kids/colleagues/management. I'd be seriously unimpressed that you haven't thought of this until now and would feel massively let down as your manager.

My friends who are teachers have actually gone to the lengths of trying to time the birth of their children so as to disrupt the academic year as little as possible. One of these women has just put her 8m baby into nursery this week so that she can go into school for meetings etc. and prep needed ahead of September.

Its a complicated enough time as it is!

tulippa · 15/07/2020 15:09

I guess you'd be within your rights if you've given the correct amount of notice. It's going to be right pain for them to get cover now for you though.

Monkeynuts18 · 15/07/2020 15:14

@SimonJT

I took the OP’s reference to annual leave to mean the upcoming summer holidays. Obviously teachers don’t get paid leave to take when they want.

But it’s relevant because it matters in this context when OP’s mat leave ends and her annual leave/summer holiday/whatever terminology you want to use starts.

jillandhersprite · 15/07/2020 15:19

I think its already been echoed - sounds like its your right to do it, but don't expect it to not change peoples view of you because you put them in a really difficult position.
If you are an anxious person and it will worry you that people think you are difficult then I can't see how that course of action will help you - unless you start some good courses to deal with the anxiety so you are able to deal with it on your return.
The people I know that would make life awkward for managers and do this sort of thing were usually the bolshy sort that didn't give a shit - you need a bit of that attitude to carry it off and not want to be 'friends' - these are colleagues/managers.
That said - you are in an industry that will not be laying off staff - teachers are going to be needed so at least you do have job security. Depending on how good your leadership team are only you know - whether they will then be all over your performance and make life awkward in the staff room...
If you do it - then build up some toughness and resilience to own

ChicCroissant · 15/07/2020 15:21

I also assumed that the OP had already returned to work technically, to be paid over the summer holidays - in which case it may well be too late to change the return date.

You'll have to wait to hear back from your manager OP.

chatterbugmegastar · 15/07/2020 15:21

Very selfish of you imo.

BlessYourCottonSocks · 15/07/2020 15:30

I'd be most unhappy. We break up Friday, and you've left me no time whatsoever to sort out cover - unless you want me to spend my summer holiday (thanks for that!) trying agencies that can send me someone to cover you for a term. Given that they were expecting you back 4 days a week, and have let you drop to 3 days - to now pull this stunt and leave them in the shit for a term, yes, I'd think you were taking the piss.

I'd be utterly fucked off with you.

Pobblebonk · 15/07/2020 15:36

There have been huge changes since you went on mat leave, and it's entirely understandable that you feel you need more time.

But there haven't been such huge changes within the last two or three weeks when OP could have notified them.

I agree that mid November does seem an odd time. Why not at the very least aim at half term?

Mintychoc1 · 15/07/2020 15:38

Yeah, definitely taking the piss.
And while you're "settling your DCs into their new settings", the kids you should be teaching may have a chaotic mix of cover teachers, supply teachers and TAs.
None of your reasons relate in any way to Covid, so you should have predicted this and planned your return date accordingly.

strawberrypip · 15/07/2020 15:38

employers should assume their is every possibility someone on mat leave will take the whole year. annoying for them if they have to find cover but not a lot they can do. I certainly wouldnt be worrying about job security based on this reason alone as it would be discriminatory if you were to be fired

Missannelliot · 15/07/2020 15:45

Well since you ask, yes I would be annoyed with you. I would certainly try not to let it influence our professional relationship. I wouldn’t fire you obviously that would be illegal. If it was 8 weeks before mat leave was due to end then I would just have to deal with it. If you hadn’t given 8 weeks notice I would say no and then it would be up to you to either come back to work or quit.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 15/07/2020 15:48

Don't you need to give 8 weeks notice of a change in mat leave circs? I'd assume (does your red book confirm?) That for teachers those 8 weeks are term time weeks?

betteliefsen · 15/07/2020 15:58

Yes, it's very unreasonable to tell the school this week when they are probably breaking up in two days time. Even if it's next week they have got no time to recruit a replacement.

tinyrobot2 · 15/07/2020 16:11

If your under the burgundy book I think you have to give 21 days notice to return. If you were due to return at the start of the summer holidays next week it would be too late. If you’re not in england, or in an academy you gave to check in your maternity policy what the rules are around returning.

I’d be pretty annoyed at the late notice, as everything is planned (as well as can be) for September, and it would be likely that the mat cover would have a new job lined up. But we’d figure out a solution and wouldn’t be annoyed for long

MobLife · 15/07/2020 16:13

People change their mind 🤷🏻‍♀️ this stuff happens all the time and ultimately organisations have to factor that in to contingency planning

Sure schools break up soon but they carry on with many of their functions throughout the summer break
Course your manager will probably be a bit miffed, but these are your children and I think it's ok to put them first
The school will cope

AIMD · 15/07/2020 16:16

I would be proper grumpy if I was your manager and you ask to extend maternity leave at this stage because of how hard it would be to arrange cover as such short notice....alongside all the covid stuff they must be managing.

HOWEVER you need to do what is right for your family. If you feel you and the children need more time it’s good you requested to extended your leave. You’ll just have to deal with the fact she might be, rightly or wrongly, miffed.

Newnamenewopenme · 15/07/2020 16:26

You are entitled to do it but I think it leaves the school in a poor position. This has been going on since March, it’s now July, you will have known all along that your kids are going back to school. Most teachers have a job lined up for September, many supply teachers have a job also lined up, so there’s very little time for them to pick up the slack, it will all fall on your head of department/line manager to set cover for your lessons if it’s supply, they could have used the last couple of months to produce the work. You’ve dropped it on them to do over their holidays which is unthoughtful and rude.