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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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To ask people to show a little more understanding to those not wearing masks

999 replies

Fuckinellitsme · 15/07/2020 09:20

Apologies for another mask thread.

First of all, I'm not an 'anti masker', I absolutely see the need and the importance of wearing them. I'm unable to wear one myself - I have trigeminal neuralgia and when I've tried to wear one, the resulting attack has left me bedbound for days. I want to wear one, but I can't. I also have rheumatoid arthritis so I'm incredibly grateful to all the people who do wear masks, therefore protecting others and especially those in higher risk groups (though not vulnerable enough to be shielding) like me.

However. I've seen some truly awful comments on here in the last few days directed at those who don't wear masks. We should be treated like lepers if we enter a shop without one, for example, or should be banned from them outright. And we ought to stay at home if we are exempt, not use public transport or go shopping or go to work. We have 'made up' health issues and disabilities and are 'woe is me' 'snowflakes'. I've also encountered bus passengers passing comment and tutting about my lack of mask.

Those of us who can't wear a mask (and are acting within the law/guidelines, being exempt) still need to go about our business. It would be lovely if we could do so without fear of comment or judgement. I understand that there will be those who don't wear a mask because they just don't want to - however, please, if you see someone without a mask (particularly if they're wearing a sunflower/exempt lanyard) try to be understanding and give them the benefit of the doubt.

The nastiness and ableist comments on here (and elsewhere) in the past few days have been genuinely upsetting for those of us unable to wear masks. Please don't assume we're all stupid/selfish/conspiracy theorists/don't care about your health, or that it's a choice. For many, choice doesn't come into it.

A bit of empathy goes a long way, especially in these weird times.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
ContentiousOne · 16/07/2020 12:44

The bus is a real problem. I have to take a 35 min bus ride to and from work each day - it's just so beyond the realm of doable to keep getting on and off buses according to whether people mask or not. It's fatiguing just working with a chronic, progressive illness - it makes me want to cry thinking about adding an hour there and back to be able to get on and off buses.

It's not simple for the OP, but for most people it is - just please mask.

ItsNotJustAboutYou · 16/07/2020 12:44

@Hearhoovesthinkzebras Please reread the guidelines for PIP. It's a lot more complex than you are saying. It's not just about being able to walk and bathe and prepare food etc. It's whether you can undertake these activities "Reliably, safely and to a reasonable standard and repeatedly."

Fuckinellitsme · 16/07/2020 12:45

As an aside... I wonder how people feel about the fact that shop staff are not required to wear masks? Will this put people off going into shops? Also that public transport staff don't have to wear them (none of the ones I've encountered have been, for example). I wonder how they will be received by those on this thread so vehemently against all not wearing face coverings. Also how those who work in shops where other staff won't be wearing them will fare.

Sadly I think there's a very real likelihood of some nasty scenes playing out because of all this.

OP posts:
ItsNotJustAboutYou · 16/07/2020 12:45

@Hearhoovesthinkzebras. This is useful.

www.turn2us.org.uk/Benefit-guides/Personal-Independence-Payment-Test/What-is-the-PIP-test

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 16/07/2020 12:46

@DappledThings

It clearly is worth less though. People who can't wear a mask are being given the right to risk my life so my life clearly is worth less than theirs.

But, like nearly everything in life it isn't binary like that. Risk is on a scale. The majority of people wearing masks reduces the risk to you. Some people being given exemptions from a general rule slightly changes the risk for you but reduces a risk for them of a painful or terrifying reaction. Your responses all read like you see your risk of catching covid and dying as a simple on or off depending on whether everyone is wearing a mask or not.

But no one needs to wear a mask. That's the point. If no one is allowed to refuse entry or question people not wearing masks it isn't just the few who are truly exempt is it?.Read the anti dementor threads on here to see how many are saying they just aren't going to wear a mask because it's against their human rights. If it isn't going to be enforceable then it won't be a small minority.
ItsNotJustAboutYou · 16/07/2020 12:48

For example, see the attached. This is the mobility section.

I'm really interested in your answer to my previous post where I quoted the exemptions etc

To ask people to show a little more understanding to those not wearing masks
Sirzy · 16/07/2020 12:49

I didn’t ignore any posts, I may not have seen them but that’s a different matter and I apologise profusely for not managing to read every single post on such a long thread.

The point stands though that you seem to be determined to turn even posts trying to help you into a negative and forgetting that you aren’t the only one who struggles

islockdownoveryet · 16/07/2020 12:49

@Hearhoovesthinkzebras you are taking a risk every day when you leave your house .
A mask isn't going to stop it will just reduce the risk and the majority of people will wear a mask .
You are being dramatic and people have been empathetic with you but you refuse to understand the point the op was making not everyone can wear a mask .
I assume you've been working so for all these months you've been at risk if you've left the house .
I'm sorry op your thread has been derailed by this attention seeker, you make a valid points and most of us understand it's just 1 or 2 who it's all about them unfortunately.

Lweji · 16/07/2020 12:49

If it isn't going to be enforceable then it won't be a small minority.

And that will be the real problem, not those who can't wear masks.
Finally getting somewhere...

And, still, you can take measures that can reduce your risk without staying at home or getting off buses.

JustHereWithMyPopcorn · 16/07/2020 12:49

My mum had trigeminal neuralgia and the slightest thing brushing her face was absolutely excruciating. People should back off telling people who suffer from this to wear a mask.

Standardy · 16/07/2020 12:49

Shop staff here have been advised to wear masks except when on the tills (as they have perspex), and have recieved guidance on how to remove them safely if needed to assist in communication with a customer etc- all provided by the shop itself so at no cost to staff. Those who cannot are not being forced to, and are offered duties where they aren't on the shop floor if they feel more comfortable, otherwise they can carry on. Today in town I would say 90% were wearing masks, no hostility towards others.

Sirzy · 16/07/2020 12:51

Local citizen advice if you have one is normally a good starting point. Or charities which support any of the conditions you have.

There are also fb groups which can be quite useful with such things (if you can filter out the shit!)

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 16/07/2020 12:51

[quote ItsNotJustAboutYou]@Hearhoovesthinkzebras. This is useful.

www.turn2us.org.uk/Benefit-guides/Personal-Independence-Payment-Test/What-is-the-PIP-test[/quote]
But look at that site. Just two examples I quickly grabbed.

No points
You can stand and then move more than 200 metres without any help.

You can stand and then move more than 200 metres with a special aid.

Examples of special aid:

Walking stick
Walking frame

No points
You can make a simple hot meal on your own without any special aids.

Examples of simple hot meals:

Pasta and sauce
Cheese and tomato omelette
Example of special aids:

Stool to sit on

That's what I'm saying. If you can walk 200 metres, even with a stick you get zero points. Doesn't give a time limit or how much pain it causes. 200 metres with a stick is zero points.

Making pasta and sauce, even if you do it sitting down, zero points.

How can I be able to go to work, and then claim to be disabled enough to score enough points? I honestly don't understand it.

Zaphodsotherhead · 16/07/2020 12:52

We've been told at work (small supermarket) that we only have to wear masks when on the shop floor and we are NOT to try to enforce the 'masks in the shop' with our customers. It's up to the police, apparently, to enforce it.

Which means that half our customers are going to be at the other half's throats, basically. I look forward to punch ups on a daily basis - and I wonder how interested the police are actually going to be in turning out to a tiny local supermarket three times a day to check on the mask situation?

Not worth the air it took to say the words, quite honestly.

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 16/07/2020 12:53

@Lweji

If it isn't going to be enforceable then it won't be a small minority.

And that will be the real problem, not those who can't wear masks.
Finally getting somewhere...

And, still, you can take measures that can reduce your risk without staying at home or getting off buses.

Such as? What measures can I take to protect me on a bus or at work? I've been watching the buses when I'm out walking. At least half of the passengers are not wearing masks. At least half.
Fuckinellitsme · 16/07/2020 12:53

@ContentiousOne

The bus is a real problem. I have to take a 35 min bus ride to and from work each day - it's just so beyond the realm of doable to keep getting on and off buses according to whether people mask or not. It's fatiguing just working with a chronic, progressive illness - it makes me want to cry thinking about adding an hour there and back to be able to get on and off buses.

It's not simple for the OP, but for most people it is - just please mask.

Thank you for this balanced comment.

I hate that I can't wear a mask and am very mindful of those who may be at risk because of it. I have the chronic illness to add an extra layer of fun to it all, too! As I said upthread, I will do everything within my power to take precautions - for example, I'll only get on buses which are quiet enough for me to sit a good distance from anyone else, I'll get off the bus and get the next one if it gets busy, I'll not speak or touch anything on the bus, I'll sanitise my hands throughout the journey, etc. I'll also wear my 'exempt' lanyard so hopefully people will understand that I'm genuinely exempt. If I was politely asked to move so a vulnerable person could board, I would have no issue whatsoever and would do so.

I'm sorry this is so awful for you. So many of us are having a crap time, trying to navigate things.

OP posts:
ItsNotJustAboutYou · 16/07/2020 12:54

You're not reading all the information. It's a scale not a yes or no. People work and are entitled to PIP. For example this is the mobility it's not as simple as you think. Do some research.

To ask people to show a little more understanding to those not wearing masks
Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 16/07/2020 12:54

[quote islockdownoveryet]@Hearhoovesthinkzebras you are taking a risk every day when you leave your house .
A mask isn't going to stop it will just reduce the risk and the majority of people will wear a mask .
You are being dramatic and people have been empathetic with you but you refuse to understand the point the op was making not everyone can wear a mask .
I assume you've been working so for all these months you've been at risk if you've left the house .
I'm sorry op your thread has been derailed by this attention seeker, you make a valid points and most of us understand it's just 1 or 2 who it's all about them unfortunately. [/quote]
I'm shielding so I haven't been going out, no. I haven't been at work, no.

ItsNotJustAboutYou · 16/07/2020 12:55

Sorry I meant to attach this

Four points
You can stand and then move between 50 and 200 metres without any help.
You can stand and then move between 50 and 200 metres with a special aid.
Eight points
You can stand and then move between 20 and 50 metres without any help.
Ten points
You can stand and then move between 20 and 50 metres with a special aid.

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 16/07/2020 12:56

@ItsNotJustAboutYou

You're not reading all the information. It's a scale not a yes or no. People work and are entitled to PIP. For example this is the mobility it's not as simple as you think. Do some research.
Then I don't understand. What is well enough or fast enough? How do I answer that?
ItsNotJustAboutYou · 16/07/2020 12:57

I hope the information is useful to you.

Would you answer my previous question re exemptions or can you not provide an answer? I can repost it if you like.

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 16/07/2020 12:58

@ItsNotJustAboutYou

Sorry I meant to attach this

Four points
You can stand and then move between 50 and 200 metres without any help.
You can stand and then move between 50 and 200 metres with a special aid.
Eight points
You can stand and then move between 20 and 50 metres without any help.
Ten points
You can stand and then move between 20 and 50 metres with a special aid.

But I can walk without help. I use a stick but that isn't help. I can't do any of it without pain and I can't do it quickly but I can do it.
Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 16/07/2020 12:59

@ItsNotJustAboutYou

I hope the information is useful to you.

Would you answer my previous question re exemptions or can you not provide an answer? I can repost it if you like.

What question re exemptions?
ItsNotJustAboutYou · 16/07/2020 12:59

There is lots of inforNation out there. For example

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/benefits/sick-or-disabled-people-and-carers/pip/help-with-your-claim/fill-in-form/

Perhaps you could stop trying to derail the thread to make it all about you and engage with the questions relevant to the original thread?

ItsNotJustAboutYou · 16/07/2020 13:00

@Hearhoovesthinkzebras please may I ask you two questions? The government rules are below. Clearly they list exemptions (and ask others to be mindful and respectful).

A. I have explained my reasons why I don't wear a mask (related trauma from rape and suffocation). I am on the list of government exemptions. I am entitled to go about my daily business without staying 2m away from you if it isn't possible. This is the legal position. Please read the full guidelines if you are unsure.

Do you think you personally have the right to override the government mandates and the legal position and if so why? Or is it that you think there should not be any exemptions at all? I'm really interested to know your thinking on this.

B. Do you think you have been mindful and respectful of others in this thread? (Please don't just repeat me me me, actually think about others not just yourself for once. I've asked if you can write a post not mentioning yourself and I genuinely don't think you.

In settings where face coverings are mandated in England, there are some circumstances, for health, age or equality reasons, whereby people are not expected to wear face coverings in these settings. Please be mindful and respectful of such circumstances noting that some people are less able to wear face coverings.

You do not need to wear a face covering if you have a legitimate reason not to. This includes:
• young children under the age of 11
• not being able to put on, wear or remove a face covering because of a physical or mental illness or impairment, or disability
• if putting on, wearing or removing a face covering will cause you severe distress
• if you are travelling with or providing assistance to someone who relies on lip reading to communicate
• to avoid harm or injury, or the risk of harm or injury, to yourself or others
• to avoid injury, or to escape a risk of harm, and you do not have a face covering with you
• to eat or drink, but only if you need to
• to take medication
• if a police officer or other official requests you remove your face covering