It’s frigging BREAD!!!

[MrsA2015]

I have a friend that refers to sliced bread as “toast” it’s starting to REALLY get on my nerves. Born and bred in England with absolutely no issues with the English language but can not distinguish between sliced bread and the end result of it being toasted being TWO DIFFERENT BLOODY THINGS.

“I had two toasts for breakfast”
“I have cheese toasts” (instead of cheese sandwiches).

Aaaaaaaaaarghhhh ffs , no amount of addressing it has made a difference in 15 poxy years.

@florascotia2, in 1991 I spent 6 weeks on Raasay. I went to the (only) shop for some bread. Answers lots of Qs about brown/white, sliced/uncut etc. “It’ll be here on Tuesday” I was told (it was Friday).

a plate of barely singed floppiness covered with butter

Alan Partridge: "That's not toast, Michael - that's hot floppy bread!"

Darren Harriott: "Toast: because you're not allowed to just pour melted butter directly into your mouth!"

@Mothership4two

Needs rest bite and mischeevious. IT’S MISCHEVOUS!

I really really want a couple of slices of thick (cut from a seedy bloomer) toast, absolutely dripping with proper butter right now.

None of that spreadable or wanna-be butter-like spreads, proper salted butter. Nice mug of strong tea and I'll be sorted. 😋

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

I wonder who originally decided that the ordinary descriptive word toilet was vulgar or offensive. Doesn't toilette in French actually have the wider sense of general 'cleansing' anyway, rather than only referring to a porcelain 'business' throne?

Maybe OP's friend was also randomly told when young that 'bread' was a vulgar, unpleasant word and that she should find a word that is sometimes connected with it to always use as a catch-all for it, like with bathroom/toilet. I'll bet that, for every single word, there's at least one person who finds it randomly vulgar and refuses to use it - e.g. 'shorts' is a nasty, vile, rude word, so they're only ever referred to as 'truncated trousers'

The word toilet has only in the last fifty years or so become the universal ‘ordinary descriptive word’. Prior to that the correct description was ‘lavatory’.

‘Toilet’ (derived, as you say, from the French) was thought to be an affected, pretentious, lower middle-class euphemism. Which is why the Royal Family and others still don’t use it. It’s vulgar in the sense of ‘common’, not disgusting.

NB: Nowadays one can also say ‘loo’ as well as lavatory without offending the Queen.

Will call cheese on toast “cheese on toastS” and a cheese sandwhich “cheese toast” I could cry.

The times I’ve corrected she’s responded with “yeah but toast is bread slices...”

I give up but had-to get it off my chest

Is your friend a 5 year old boy because DS does this! He calls the bread bin the toast bin.

@iamtheoneandonlyyy

Raw toast

Genius

Does she only eat Warburton's Toastie toasts bread?

My little niece when learning to speak calked everything with bread ‘toast‘ and a McDonalds was ‘Donny Toast’. She gets it now but wrong saying like this grate on me. I worked with a woman who would say ‘remember me to do that!’ And if you didn’t due to the fact that she should be doing her own reminders ‘why didn’t you remember me to do that?’ I used to want to scream ‘REMIND’ at her.

My mum calls the colour beige ‘beej’ and maintains I’m wrong. Also a Bain Marie is pronounced ‘bayn’.

I used to go to school with someone who called a tannoy a tannoid and also say satchel to rhyme with ratchet ‘sach-yet’. I also saw on here once ‘beacon call’ rather than beck and call.

*sachet to rhyme with ratchet

earlydoors, came on to say that calling a rug a carpet is actually correct, but see JasperRising covered this. I work in conservation and we always refer to a carpet, never a rug. Yes, it does come from before we had fitted carpets.

"Will call cheese on toast “cheese on toastS” and a cheese sandwhich “cheese toast”"

Well that's daft isn't it as surely the cheese is on one toast for cheese on toast & in two slices of bread for a sandwich?

Why does calling untoasted bread toast mean that she doesn't call a sandwich a sandwich?

@diddl

I’m as perplexed as you, I remember going for a play date with her last year and she proudly announced “ive brought plenty of cheese toast for the kids” and I couldn’t bring myself to once again say “oh you mean cheese sandwiches?”.

We’ve all just accepted it now but yesterday I thought ffs woman there’s no actual reason for you to be using the WRONG terminology as the grand age of 30 as well as being a mother who ought to be teaching them how to speak properly!

So what does she order off a menu? Does she ask for cheese toasts in a cafe, even though the word sandwich is in front of her? Or does she just not order sandwiches when out.

Why wouldn't her parents have corrected her?

Ooh, I couldn't be doing with it at all!

Norma--Yes, I am in the Northeast!! Do women not have wallets?

Does anyone remember DH on here who used to spend his mornings making “elaborate toasts” and not lifting a finger to help, while the OP struggled with the kids?

It would be one (something like) with roasted tomatoes, one with ham, one with cream cheese and salmon etc (not the actual ingredients but that sort of thing) and he stood there eating them really slowly at the counter while she ran herself ragged?

I don’t know why, but this has really stuck in my memory! “Toasts” friend has just reminded me of it! Possibly I remember it because it put me in mind of my exh.

More to the point of the OP, I can’t really stand it when people use the wrong word for things either. It’s like they are using their little family sayings, which might be cute in the family, with everyone. And it’s just not cute or endearing!

Ex MIL had loads of them, including “spaghetti sauce” for Bolognese sauce.

I had to explain what beef was to a very small DD1 - it's "joined up mince" I said, to gales of laughter from assorted adults. Made perfect sense though .

Bathroom is fine for a toilet (although my 4 year old objects when there's no bath in it)

Toasts for bread is totally unacceptable. I'd rethink the friendship, I couldn't bear it.

Teacakes for a plain roll without raisins or currents in is an abomination.

Baps is hilarious as that's a slang word for boobs around here.

Beyond irritating!!

@MuttleysSnigger

earlydoors, came on to say that calling a rug a carpet is actually correct, but see JasperRising covered this. I work in conservation and we always refer to a carpet, never a rug. Yes, it does come from before we had fitted carpets.

Quite jealous! If I had my time again I would love to have textiles conservation skills

Have you tried showing her all the definitions?